NWR/interracial marriages....a chat of sorts...

DH is Dominican and I'm White of Irish descent. My family welcomed him with welcome arms. For the most part his did as well, although my MIL wasn't thrilled. I do think me speaking Spanish made her come around.

I also had an ex that was Indian and his Dad refused to meet me because I was the "white devil"... people can choose to be ignorant, but my husband and I chose to be together and no one's ignorance was gonna change that.

Awwww OP you and your FH are so cute!! Love will always win <3

Here is me and my babe

@Keisha A., I almost spit a little bit of my sangria out while reading that last bit! Haha, I have that same thought bubble when I catch the stares and those comments.

@Beecham2Barrows, that's awesome how you were raised and that the families are meeting y'all with open arms. But, that was some hella shitty mess your ex's grandmother said to you...

@Nas, I'm so sorry that hose family members have said those disgusting things to you and your siblings. And that's terribly horrific what those evil mean did to your father

I'm Caucasian (almost entirely UK ancestry) and FH is Hispanic (Mexican ancestry), though in the winter he gets just pale enough to pass for Asian Indian or Arab (it's honestly amusing how worried people get about asking about his ethnic background; he and I both just think it's funny - especially since his last name couldn't be more Hispanic). His mom's side of the family likes me...the only awkward thing is when they all start speaking in Spanish and I can only catch about 30-50% of it. But they're all super sweet. The more difficult stuff has been cultural differences in our relationships with/the ways we demonstrate closeness and love to our families, and that's been harder with my family because they see it more as a lack of character or respect in him, versus a different way of viewing the world.

@Cindy G., thank you! You and your FH are a nice looking couple too! I see we both prefer taller men

Lol I'm almost 5ft and he's 6'2"!

My family loves my FH because he's a great man and treats me well. He's mixed race half white and half black and I'm Asian, but it hasn't been an issue with either of our families. I really wish people could be more accepting and not judge a loved one's relationship/marriage based on race.

@Callie Sue,

I'm so ecstatic that you and your FH are making it work despite some cultural differences. I'm stoked that the family love and acceptance is strong

I'm in an interracial couple - I'm black and FS is white (both American). There haven't been any major issues with family other than one side of his family posting racist things online (not about me, more politics-related). They still seem thrilled that we're getting married though. My family teases me and makes jokes, but is otherwise fine with it.

The worst part is really just bizarre and rude comments from strangers. I always say we should write a book compiling the craziest comments we get from randos.

Husband's side of the family wasn't all that interested in meeting me or becoming a part of our lives...eh, I didn't really care because the feeling was mutual. However, my parents, brothers, aunts and uncles were very VERY excited and love it when he is around. Everyone was so happy to see him participate in our traditional Nigerian ceremony. He loved it!

We're an interracial couple. Our families are fine with it and all get along really well. We get the occasional odd stare but IDGAF!!

We haven't heard any comments about it thus far, but maybe that's because we're in Southern California and it's super common here (if not the norm). Almost all my friends are in interracial marriages now that I think of it...

I'm Asian and FH is Caucasian. I still get the "what are you?" question...

FH and I met in high school lol. We come from very different families. His family is white collar doctors, lawyers and business owners. My family is more blue collar. My first encounter with his family was a bit awkward. Before I met his family, he told his mom "There's this nice girl I like and really want you to meet." When his mom asked him more questions about me and found out I was black she said "I don't know if that's a good idea." He told me about this and I said "well, she doesn't even know me. That's not very nice." He said to his mother "I chatted with her about what you said. We don't think that's nice at all. I think you two need to meet in person, and she deserves an apology." He brought me over to the house. I was dreading it. His mom took one look at me and goes "Is this Mariah? She's beautiful." After grilling me with multiple questions about my upbringing and eventually coming to realize we were more similar than she thought, she and the rest of his family fell in love with me. That was really awkward in the early stages, but I have forgiven them and moved on from that. You see, we grew up in a very segregated town where about half of the population is white and wealthy and the other half is brown/black and working class. There is a lot of crime and lots of stereotyping. She had never met a black person she could identify with because she was never exposed to black people outside of what she thought we were. I think that at this point his family understands that black people aren't a monolith.

Anyway, over the almost 8 years we've been together I've been invited on two family vacations with he and his family, I've had multiple dinners and fun family outings. They're great people, but they had some biases to unlearn initially. They are stoked about the wedding. His side has actually been gracious and super involved by hosting a rehearsal dinner for us, hosting a bridal shower for me and asking if we needed any help.

I want to say that if your first experience with your SO's family is awkward, don't be discouraged. When you come from different inner circles and traditions it will be that way, but keep in mind that the family loves and respects your FH/FW and respecting you goes along with that.

OP it's funny that you had a relative say "if you hurt her I will kill you". My uncle did the same thing to FH.

We're an interracial couple and my FILs are wonderful and very loving.

FMIL once made this awkward joke about how I got into something because of affirmative action. Believe it or not I'm actually 100% certain she wasn't trying to be racist or negative or anything like that. Still, it reminded me that she will never really appreciate what it's like to be a minority. On the other hand, in the past election cycle, she got out and marched and protested and forced her entire family to change their voter registrations from republican to democrat. I really appreciated that. She even joined me for a BLM event.

It's a complicated thing though. FILs are moderately conservative. I really don't think they fundamentally believe that people of color are less in some way, but I will say that sometimes people make the mistake of thinking that because they know you well they can make some off-color jokes about race etc. that most of the time are shrugged off but once in awhile cross the line.

I am in an interracial relationship as well. I am biracial (half black and half white) and FH is white. I guess technically I am always in an interracial relationship, unless date another person that is also mixed black and white, ha! My future in-laws never batted an eyelid and have welcomed me from day one. I found out later that one of my FMIL's sisters is married to a black man, and the other is married to a Mexican...so I guess his family has been over racial BS for a while! We do get weird looks when we are out together on occasion but whatever!

FH and I are an interracial couple and our families are completely ok with it, but we've had some strange backhanded compliments from complete strangers. No one says anything particularly hurtful, but the experiences just leave us feeling uncomfortable and perplexed.

The first time we went to California we were approached by a friendly young white man and his dog. He helped us find parking and chatted with us for a bit too long assuming we were roommates. When we stated we were (at the time) BF/GF, he said, in a delighted tone, "oh wow, that's wonderful, that's really good. And who knows, if you guys break up you can date Denzel and he can date Jennifer Anniston".

Most recently (Saturday), we were approached by a stranger in the mall while shopping who told us we were a cute couple then felt the need to share his in-depth knowledge of black culture with us as though we would enjoy that. He wasn't trying to be rude, but generally people do not talk to strangers about what they know of their race. It just seemed the only reason he was talking to us was because of our racial difference.

We met each other's families when we were still friends / before we were a couple, so it was never an issue when we started dating!

In fact, both our families are pretty "diverse" and we both have relatives that married outside our races so it was totally normal for both our families .

For example, I'm asian and he's white. He has a cousin who married & has kids with a south asian. I have aunts & uncles who married whites and I have several mixed-race cousins. And those cousins also married/had kids with people from other races.

I'm pretty sure at our family get-togethers, we just look like a bunch of friends hanging out when really we're all blood related!

@everyone,

It's so interesting to hear of the different tales/experiences y'all have had as interracial/mixes race couples. I swear stereotypes and generalizations can be hard to shake for some folks...

MsRiahToMrsP and PandaPlease,

Those back handed comments or compliments can be unnerving and unsettling. They take you by surprise and half the time you don't even know how to react to them. Believe me, I've had plenty...just as an person and not a couple. The most frequent one I've heard (last time in an actual biker/hole in the wall bar...I LOVE karaoke) was: I don't mean no offense, but I've never met a black person like you before. You're alright with me, little lady. I mostly sing a bunch of rock music.

Or...You seem kind of smart. Where exactly did you grow up?

And I like to read and write poetry on occasion and wear black finger nail polish every day and do all sorts of random shit on a regular basis lol...

Yeah, people...

I'm Caucasian and FH is half Native American. His family is always very nice and kind. My family has always been welcoming to him too. Most racism we have faced (which hasn't been too much, especially in more recent years) has been because ignorant people assume he is middle eastern, not that that should make a difference regardless. I honestly think if we still get weird looks, it's probably because I am taller than him. It could be both honestly, but after 10 years together I do not notice it happening as much.

Before FH when I was dating I took a pause when guys of other races would say I don't see race or color. Umm one of the big things that make me, me is the fact that I am a black woman. How are you just ignoring that. If you don't see my race then you can't understand who I am.