NWR/interracial marriages....a chat of sorts...

Girrrrrrrl, type your long posts in word and then copy/paste.

Waiting....

The suspense is killing me lol!

Haha, LilluBean17, I typed it all and am about to retype it! I'm on my phone and for some reason, it wouldn't send and gave me that stupid lemon/uh oh error

And it went very well! When we first met his mom and step dad at the condo, his mom grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug ever! And his step dad did the same

I met his Oma, aunts, uncle, cousins and their kids in one setting. They made me feel so welcome that I almost cried. Even his uppity cousins were super sweet! Even though Oma forgets stuff all the time, she never confuses me with "the help" and tells me she loves me

It was great each time I flew up to see them. My family was super welcoming to his, too. My uncle, who is going to officiate our wedding...yes, he's a minister among so many other things, told him: "If you hurt her, I'll kill you." He said that four times during our family BBQ, but whispered to me that he can tell he's a good man.

I'm thinking about my experience because I was watching an episode of 90 day fiancé and got a little sad about that particular couple. The young man's father wasn't really receptive of her being black/African. He didn't agree with interracial marriages and was quite cold to her during their first meeting. I still don't get why it's such a big deal. My FH and I haven't experienced a shit ton of racism, but there have been a few uncomfortable moments. It's mostly folks gawking/staring at us, whispers, and sometimes audible crap...like some dudes yelling wtf is that shit?!? That's been from black and white folks. We met and we're in the south...like Tennessee.

I'm curious to see how other interracial couples' "meeting the family" experiences went. Has it been particularly difficult for y'all? Or have y'all had a good experience/it didn't seem to matter.

Idk, I just get sad and emotional when people are divisive and unkind. I don't like it one bit

Love is love!

Ok, I'll shut up now

I'm not in an Interracial relationship now, but I used to be and both families were very welcoming. Outsiders looking in... Not so much. It was terrible. But we looked past it and laughed

His family is amazing and I love them.

One of my uncles disowned one of his kids for dating a black man. This guy was a tv star, went on to be in movies, very successful, also such a genuine and nice person. Uncle gave no shits that this guy treated his daughter so well, only cared that he wasn't white. Well, this uncle wasn't invited to family gatherings or holidays because he was being such an asshole.

They ended up breaking up, my uncle and his daughter reconciled. He's still a racist asshole though and many of us (there are A LOT of us) still don't talk to him.

Anyway my point is, it's terrible that people don't get treated with respect simply because of their skin color. I'm sorry we live in a world where you for one second feared someone's acceptance of you in their child's life. I'm glad you had a much warmer welcome than you feared though!

My FH is of another race and it was all love from both sides. I do know that it isn't always like that some some people aren't accepting and just don't get it. We get the stares too or people asking if we're "together". I'm glad you had a great experience with each other's families!

Here's one of my favorite pics of us from last year. He took me on a cruise

I'm in an interracial relationship and his family loves me and my family loves him! Everything is great with everyone of course sometimes we get stares and once a lady said to him "didn't your mama tell you don't bring home a white woman?" I didn't hear her say this and it was probably for the best because I probably would of went off on her! He isn't one for confrontation and he ignores stupid stuff like that which is probably what balanced us out! Lol but the opinions of outsiders just doesn't matter, as long as we love each other and our families love us!

I definitely can't claim the particulars of dating as a white/black couple in the south, but my FH is Arab (and btw atheist) and all I have gotten are weird comments about whether I am converting or will have to veil from distant and ignorant family members. Luckily in my close family it is all love and understanding. One day maybe the south will move on...

@MnmsMonique, we've gotten that "are too together" look or comment many times. It's like at the register at a store or something...

They're usually like, "oh, sorry...didn't know"...

I'm not in a interracial relationship but FH doesn't look like what people think a black man should look like. We get stared in public and I can see people whispering but they can wallow in their ignorance. And it from both sides not just one.

ETA: we get the are you wo together question a lot. No I'm just holding the hand of some random fucking stranger for shits and giggles.

@Cindy G.

Ugh, folks can be a mess! I got comments like that when I came back from college. I had a ton of non-black friends and joined a non-black sorority. I was asked more than a few times why I was around all those white folks and didn't I join a real sorority...one where it's black women. I had to put a few of them in their place.

But, I'm happy that the families are on board with your love

I am Caucasian and my FH is black. I wasn't raised to see color and niether was FH. His family took me in with open arms as well mine with him. However, I used to date a guy and his grandmother came to me and flat out told me she didn't like me being with her grandson because I was white. It's a terrible feeling.

@DesertPolarBear, I can't imagine the crap that people have said to you. Isn't it so terribly ludicrous how the south is known for that "good ole southern hospitality", but can't be an ass backwards and ignorant and hateful region as well...???

At least your close family is acceptive of your love. And I do how the south moves on one day...

Ding! That's such a lovely picture! I'm jealous that you got your proposal moment documented

All love from both of our families. I can't imagine what it would be like for family to disapprove, but i'm sure it would hurt. We definitely get a lot of stares and looks. Especially when we're out with my family. My mom is quick to set people straight!

As long as the person is of high moral character and treats you well, who cares what race they are?

Thanks @Alexis! He asked our waiter to "take a picture of us" at the restaurant and then the waiter got all confused when he got on his knee lol.

And yeah the day we move on honestly just feels further and further away. Hope is the thing with feathers I guess! The little college town bubble of Durham is one thing, but drive twenty minutes in either direction and you may be dealing with something else entirely...