NWR: but did you have to compromise with animals?

What's the point of having a dog if it lives outside? That seems cruel. Pets should be like part of the family. I definitely do not agree with having your dog live in a garage or outside.

I agree with Sarah, the way he treats his dog sounds cruel.

What state do you live in?

I agree with oh Sarah animals are not toys, they are family members and should be treated as such. This would need to be a hard discussion. I do agree with the bedroom part to a degree but I get allergies and even when I take meds if there is hair in the bed my eyes itch.

I've never seen someone keep a dog outside full time. It's good he understands the dangers of an outdoor cat, but I honestly never would have dated FH if my dog couldn't be indoors at all.

We do have to compromise, because we both have cats but mine is FIV+ so they have to be separated. I would never leave a dog outside all the time. Boring and dangerous. Dogs get stolen all the time. And what a terrible life separated from its pack all the time. I couldn't date someone who treated animals as anything other than family.

I don't see the point in having a dog if it's outside all the time. They are meant to be a part of the family, which means being allowed inside.

My parents always had the rule of no dogs on the furniture (couches, beds, etc.). Maybe this is a good compromise for you?

IMHO, and I apologize if this comes off rude, but I think it's cruel to have dogs if they're only kept outside or in the garage. Dogs are very affectionate animals, and keeping them outside away from the family is so sad to me. I can understand if he doesn't want pets in the bedroom or on the furniture. At least he's letting your cat stay in the house. I honestly don't think I could be with somebody who wouldn't let my dog in the house though, I'd feel as if they lack compassion. Maybe ask FH if he'll allow the dog in certain rooms of the house, whether it be just the kitchen or living room. I hope you can compromise!

I had 2 dogs before I met FH and we have gotten two more since (so we now have 4). It would have been an absolute deal breaker for me if he didn't want/love animals. He still won't let me get a pig, but alas that is the only compromise with animals in our world. I don't agree with dogs being left outside all the time, they need interaction. We recently rescued a dog from our neighbors and she was kept out all the time and generally not loved and it is sad how much she has had to learn about being in the house and having human interaction and love.

Sorry but you shouldn't bring anymore animals into your home if your FH is going to treat them like that. I can understand not wanting the cat in the bedroom but it doesn't sound like he really likes animals all that much, especially if he is keeping the dog outside 24/7. That's cruel. Please please don't bring anymore animals into a house where they won't be treated right.

FH is not an animal person either, on top of it he has a crappy immune system and allergies. He is very allergic to my cats, and my dogs (doesn't like one of my cats and one of my dogs, but they're still in the juvenile stage of life). Two of the animals came before him, and the other two before we were engaged, so they aren't going anywhere. But I've agreed not to get any more until the ones we have pass on, will limit to one cat and one dog, and he would really prefer they be kept outside. Right now, our compromise is they aren't allowed in my bedroom, and the young animals be kept up at night so they don't destroy my house while I sleep.

Where I'm from, its not uncommon for people to keep animals outside, and its not illegal as long as they have food, water, and covered shelter. While I don't agree, its how things are here, especially working dogs like cattle dogs or hunting dogs - they have their job and people seem to think treating them well will spoil them.

ETA FH is also a clean person, and really hates animal hair, so that plays into his opinions.

He's outside alot. And that's where I'm like ehh. I don't think it should be outside at all just to do its business and come in. But he's a really clean person and he doesn't like all the hair. That's his reasoning.

Where does your FH's dog go in the event of extreme weather?? I have friends that leave their dogs outside during the day (in a fenced yard, not tied/chained up, with water available), but bring them inside at night and during extreme weather conditions. I've never encountered a pet owner who leaves an animal outside at all times. That may be against your local laws.

I have no problem with requesting no animals in the bedroom. We personally have no boundaries with our dogs, but I can understand why some people wouldn't want two 80 pound mutts taking up half of their bed!

ETA: Our dogs are inside most of the time, and we only let them out in the yard when one of us is at home. We don't leave them outside when we're gone. I have heard that dog fighting operations will steal dogs from people's yards.

Another point someone else might have made, some types of dogs if not with the pack can become isolated and dangerous. If you become an outsider it won't listen as well and might defend it's area from even you. I grew up with a Timberwolves mix and we never had issues because she was part of the family not an isolated creature.

@Mrs.Shell What if you got a dog that doesn't shed? Like some sort of doodle breed?

Mrs. Shell- That's exactly why I don't have an animal. Don't like hair? Don't have an animal. Don't want them in the house? Don't have an animal. His excuse is not good enough.

Not trying to be an ass but if he is worried about staying clean what will he do when kids are around?

Not to come off rude, but it sounds like your compromise might be not having animals if your FH doesn't feel the need/want to give them a proper home.

I have a cat allergy, FH came with a cat, I got allergy medication.

He has had that cat through good times and bad, that cat is part of the family. I keep my allergy in check and FH and I talk about what we will do when he's gone (he's an older animal).

You have to be on the same page as pets or at least willing to compromise.

I agree with OGS. There is zero point with having an outdoor animal. What do you even do with them then?

FH wasn't a huge dog person when we met. I had two dogs and basically told him that if he can't deal with animals living in the house and being on the furniture, then I wasn't the girl for him. He turned into a massive dog lover. Maybe just see how he does with bringing his dog indoors for a little while.

We live in Kansas. We will be moving to a small town. And right now he lives on a farm with his dog. She knows where to go and all that. He even built the house for her up higher so other animals couldn't get into it. I've offered to keep the house clean and keep it out of our room off the furniture and bathe it when it needs it.. we haven't really talked more on it. Cuz I just stopped. But him being a germ freak he doesn't like animals inside.