Sylvia
Devoted September 2021

Not tipping wedding vendors.

Sylvia, on June 10, 2021 at 10:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 2 30
Saved
Reply
Hi!
I wanted to get some insight on weddings and tipping your vendors.

I will in fact be tipping every vendor who’s providing me a service for my wedding from the venue, to DJ, to the event decorator and everyone else haha.
My friend is a firm believer of not tipping anyone for a wedding. Because the price they charge is the price they expect, so you pay only that. She was very adamant on this stand. Why would I pay someone extra for something I already paid for?Which is odd to me!
But like. It’s a service they are performing for you, so it’s proper etiquette to tip. Right? LOL.
What do you think of this stance? What are you all doing?Curious to see all of your thoughts!

30 Comments

Latest activity by GB Henderson, on December 5, 2021 at 12:13 AM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    I tipped my hair and makeup people but when my husband asked our venue coordinator what we should tip our other vendors she said tipping them wasn't necessary which was really surprising. If we had tipped, I wouldn't have tipped our florist because she messed so many things up and I would have fired her before the wedding, but my husband was concerned we wouldn't be able to find a new florist two months before the wedding but I sure wish I would have tried to.
    • Reply
  • Sylvia
    Devoted September 2021
    Sylvia ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I’m sorry to hear your florist wasn’t great..
    I agree though with not tipping if vendors underperform.
    But otherwise. If they provide a good service and you’re happy with them in most cases I’d tip them
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree but my husband followed what our coordinator recommended. I think he was just so busy that it didn't cross his mind until after the fact that he definitely should have tipped them.
    • Reply
  • JM Sunshine
    JM Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    You should tip your servers, bartender, DJ/musicians... basically anyone who doesn't own the vendor business but provides a service.
    • Reply
  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
    • Flag
    Does she tip when she goes to a restaurant or the hair salon? I look at it the same way - they're providing a service and a tip is my appreciation for them doing their work
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Savvy September 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Personally I feel that if a tip/gratuity isn’t outlined in a vendor’s contract or proposal, you shouldn’t be expected to tip. Everyone I have booked with so far has echoed the same thing - tips aren’t required, but are appreciated. Our caterer (which includes bartending) and venue already have gratuity included in their pricing, so we won’t be tipping them anything on top of that. I don’t expect to tip anyone else except maybe the DJ and my hair and makeup artist. Maybe that’s unorthodox, but when we’re talking about a $20k or $30k wedding (like ours), 20% of that is another $4,000-$6,000 just in tips! That’s more than some people pay for their engagement ring or even their entire wedding. When the numbers are this big, gratuity should be itemized in a vendor’s contract if one is expected. If a vendor doesn’t mention gratuity in their pricing, then they’re not getting a tip 🤷🏻‍♀️
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    I come from Australia so tipping here is not customary at all (boy travelling to the US was interesting, I kept reminding myself that my meal was cheap but I had to add on another 17%+!) and I fully agree with you.

    I think if there are any vendors that do such an amazing job that you want to tip them, go ahead, but otherwise, vendors should be charging you enough to make a profit.

    • Reply
  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    I kind of agree with your friend. It seems tipping (both in the wedding industry and out) has gotten excessive and everyone expects a tip now-a-days. People who work events are usually laid very well. I used to work events as a server many years ago and we made $20 an hr. A tip was always nice and appreciated but never expected and it didn’t hurt our feelings if we didn’t get one.


    The only people we tipped were the servers. And even when I asked the caterer what a standard amount was she said it wasn’t necessary and they pay them like $20 an hr or something. There was no reason the tip the venue. Besides providing the building they didn’t do anything. The DJ, florist, and photographer own their own business and I was told you don’t tip in that case. My bartender was horrible, for many reasons. But she also set out a tip jar when I explicitly asked her not to so she wasn’t getting anything else from me. I’m sure I tipped my hair and makeup lady. But I can’t remember.
    I think it’s all preference on who and what you tip. But I don’t think it’s mandatory in any case unless it’s a line item on your bill/contract.
    • Reply
  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
    • Flag

    We tipped everyone outside of the ones that we were already tipping as per our contracts. It did add up to about $900 extra dollars, but we feel strongly about tipping people who are providing a service. We thought everyone went above and beyond to be awesome on our day so we felt really good about it. I don't think it is mandatory or anything, do what feels best.

    • Reply
  • Honey
    Dedicated July 2022
    Honey ·
    • Flag
    Our venue included gratuity with our total amount so we won’t be tipping anyone at the venue. The bartender at our venue usually get tips from guests (went to a few events here). Our other vendors I’ve seen people would send them thank you cards or something they can share (edible arrangements). I plan on doing something like that nothing crazy. Weddings are already expensive enough to have to worry about tipping everyone involved. I don’t like tipping as it is to be honest but it’s an expectation and it shouldn’t be. People are already making money off of you. It should definitely be optional and people shouldn’t be shamed for not doing it.
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated September 2021
    K ·
    • Flag
    A lot of the contracts we’ve signed said the price includes gratuity, or else it’s automatically added.


    I would check that first.
    Personally, although I do tip (usually 15-20 percent unless service is exceptionally bad or good), I really hate tipping and I think it’s a total racket. Especially when the person I’m tipping is the owner of the business (for instance, my cat sitter). It’s like, if you think the service is more then charge that.
    In any case, I think back in the day it was actually considered rude to tip the owner of a business. And tipping used to be— and in many countries still is— about thanking someone for an exceptionally well-done job. Not an expected extra 20% tax that you pay on top of everything else.
    Tirade over.
    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    We tipped everyone (servers, musician, officiant, florist). You really should give at least 15% if they do a good job.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    I'm with you! Anyone providing you a service should be tipped! A lot of the prices you are paying for the service are not going to those actually showing up and making your day happen. The vendors that put in the hard work deserve to be compensated.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Savvy September 2022
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    I think you should be tipping anyone who is providing a service at your wedding, unless they do it badly. That is only polite.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Originally tips were first intended to make sure that top of the line service was given. (To insure prompt service) Since then, people give and expect tips like they are water. Especially in other countries. That includes when the vendor (even at non wedding businesses) gives bad service. It makes no sense whatsoever to tip that person because it essentially says “thank you for treating us like crap”. At weddings, everyone expects you to tip everyone providing a service, and a lot of it goes back to the idea that “weddings cost more because attention to detail is given that is not present else and vendors care more about your wedding than someone else’s corporate event”. For some vendors maybe but a fair number actually don’t fit that criteria and they have bad reputations. But because brides are told to tip everyone, they don’t know any better, and they get upset when you explain why you shouldn’t tip everyone.


    A caterer is a great example. They have a required tip you are already paying called the gratuity. You don’t tip beyond that. If they did a stellar job, you give them glowing reviews and a thank you card, not more money. Why would you tip anyone before you see the service in action? On the wedding day, you are basically on cloud 9 until the end of the honeymoon so you are not in an objective mindset to assess whether a vendor showed up, did their job, went above and beyond for you. That is why people tell you to wait until the honeymoon when your mind is clear and you have all the information of how the day went. Give tops and reviews at that time only.
    Maybe the florist never showed up so your coordinator sent her assistant to Walmart to grab bouquets. The dj got stuck behind a 10 car pileup and didn’t give any notice of being late, or they show up on time and do everything that you specifically asked them to do. The majority would say “you need to tip the florist and dj the full amount before you leave the wedding and it would be rude not to”. Why? They did not perform the expected tasks they agreed to. A tip is only for those who go above and beyond the call of duty. If someone is a no show, gives you bad service, or shows up to do their job without any effort and goes home, they are not tipped, because again a tip in those cases says “thank you so much for treating us like crap. Please go do it to other people”.
    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Just to add to this: “ Everyone I have booked with so far has echoed the same thing - tips aren’t required, but are appreciated. ” I think you misinterpreted as them not expecting a tip. This is their polite way of saying - yes please tip! It’s “appreciated” they are just being polite. You should tip all vendors.
    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Also, you chose to spend that much and have to factor tips into your budget. It doesn’t matter that some people’s weddings cost as much as your tip, you’re the one who chose to spend that. My wedding was $25k and I paid $4k in tips. It’s actually really cheap to spend that much on a wedding and then not tip…
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Savvy September 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for clarifying! I guess I hadn’t really thought of it that way. We have absolutely budgeted to tip all of our vendors just in case, as I agree that it does look cheap to spend that much and not tip someone when they expect it! We definitely want to treat all our vendors with the utmost respect, I just think it’s odd for people to say tips aren’t required when they are expected. I would definitely prefer them to be worked into the contract so that everything is clear. I’ve read so many articles with different expectations for tipping, so it’s definitely a topic worth discussing! Thanks again for your feedback Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    It’s a lot and it’s confusing but I think especially during these times it’s best to err on the side of generosity when possible 😊
    • Reply
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
    • Flag
    This is going to be an unpopular opinion but I don't think people deserve tips for doing the bare minimum/their basic jobs. My HMUA was rude to me, so she didn't get a tip. Photographer was self-employed so he didn't get a tip. There was gratuity in the catering fee but I'm probably going to give the caterer some $ next time I see him (next month). He and his team are the only ones who went above and beyond so imo they are the only ones who deserve more than the already-high fees we gave them.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics