Not tipping wedding vendors.

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I think in the US especially there a lot of people who find it rude if a business asks for or requires a tip. So instead people have to tip toe around it and say things like "It's not required, but it's appreciated!" I wish tipping in general became less of a thing and that people could just charge what they need... but I also know, for example, that I tip my hairdresser because I'm aware that part of her normal service charge will go towards the salon's expenses and I want her alone to get extra because she did the work. I think we've got a long way to go with tipping, unfortunately.

View Quoted Comment That makes a lot of sense! I wish it weren’t such a delicate subject that people had to tip toe around. I really didn’t mean for my initial comment to sound so harsh - it just didn’t make sense to me for people to say tips weren’t required, when in fact they are expected. The last thing I want to do is appear rude or cheap! I agree that we have a long way to go in the U.S. with wages and tips.

I wouldn't have had a problem so much with tipping vendors/servers as I did with also having to provide a meal for them on top of it. (The cost of a vendor meal equated to about the same amount I would also be giving as a tip.) It's just those "little" things that are forgotten factors when budgeting that add up to an extra $1000-$2000.

It’s interesting to see all these different opinions!
I grew up in a family that does not tip, but as I grew older and saw and experienced all kinds of things, I learned that I need to top everyone. (When eating out or getting a service done) especially food service. Servers in my area don’t get paid jack so I like to support their income whenever I can through tipping.
I am sure wedding vendors make more than enough during busy wedding seasons and have that income carry over in most parts. (Most not all.. I know some businesses rely heavily on making their income just during wedding seasons)None of my vendors mentioned anything about tips. Expect when asked about catering since they do not charge for gratuity or service fees, they said “we don’t charge those nor expect you to pay extra”’and left it at that.Our tipping ways in this country definitely need some work. And business need to put into contracts their fees or simply word things better.

Personally I budgeted for tipping the normal vendors, like the DJ, bartenders, servers, etc. My photographer owns her business herself so I don’t need to necessarily tip her, but she did enlist a second shooter to help out on the day so I will tip them. I think tipping your vendors should of course be for great service and going above and beyond, but at the same time, you hired them for your wedding so shouldn’t you know they are going to be amazing? I have no doubt in my mind that all of my vendors will be amazing because I thoroughly vetted them and looked at reviews and received personal recommendations before I hired them. I always tip when I get my hair done or makeup done, and tip more if I think they were great, so to me it’s the same situation. I went to someone who is providing me a service, I paid the amount for that service which goes towards the business’ costs and then I tipped the person who performed the service for doing a great job.

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This 100%!!

Why would you praise and encourage bad service by giving everyone and their cousin a tip, even when they make it clear you aren’t a client worth their time?

I think this comes down to how people tip in their every day lives. Based on a lot of responses, clearly different people view tipping differently. If I go out to eat, I always plan to tip 20%. I don’t sit there at the end of every meal and break down if they were a little slow or forgot one thing, I’m going to tip them their 20%. If service is *terrible* and I have to complain or raise an issue more than once, then I likely will tip closer to 15%. I think there are very few rare occasions in which one should tip - only for extreme violations.


It seems that those who veer away from tipping vendors are the same who would sit with a calculator after dinner and determine 15% tip pre-tax. That’s just not how I roll.

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is the notion of tipping business owners, whether that be the DJ, MUA or photographer. I think that business owners set the price they want to charge for their service. If they think they deserve more, they should charge more for their service. I will gladly and happily tip servers, assistants, etc though.

I'm big on tipping when we go out to eat and when I get my nails & hair done - I always tip 20%. Always. Because when I get those services, I know most of what I'm paying goes to the business, not my server and I make sure whoever took care of me is also taken care of. We had an open bar at our wedding and we (and the guests) tipped the bartender all night and all the wait staff (even though they worked for the venue and gratuity WAS already included in our payment). However, I did not tip any of my other wedding vendors. I paid thousands of dollars for each of their services & each one of them owned their business. My DJ cost nearly $4k. Yes, she was phenomenal. But she didn't even need to bring anything but her table top to our venue. I don't see any reason I now should give her another $800??? For doing what she was paid $4k to do??? If a vendor feels their job is worth more it should be worked into the invoice. Personally - it doesn't compute for me. Perhaps I would think differently if my vendors didn't own the business and were simply worker bees...

I sent them all personal Thank Yous and left them all great reviews and continue to recommend them to friends, family and strangers. And to this day, I still have a great relationship with all of them. I know this take is unpopular and may come off harsh - although I mean what I said, I don't mean it in a nasty way.

View Quoted Comment But they are preforming a service. I think that $50-$100 would be nice

I often feel conflicted with this matter. for alot of the big vendors like venue, planner,catering ive hired ive paid literally thousands an it makes me wonder if they really need an additional tip

but then i think about the inexpensive ones like the baker, the makeup artist an feel a tip is indeed called for.

I think it varies

Tipping certainly is a personal choice but the same reasons have been shared on here multiple times, which certainly help make a more informed decision or at least hear others help us feel better about our choice or perspective and we're not alone either way. I thought I'd share a few angles that I've come to think about how I think about gratuity.

I believe tipping in the US has gotten very taken advantage of. Fast food joints have never been considered a place to tip, but coffee bars, ice cream shops, or even Subway have become regular places to tip, because they have a place to add a tip. It seems these days most every business has invested in Stripe's POS system where they can just flip the ipad your way and a pre-designed gratuity display has brainwashed consumers into feeling like if a gratuity box is presented then they should be tipping that service, and if you press that "No Tip" button you're a rude person. That basic sales & marketing design is rewiring consumers to feel everyone should be tipped for simply doing their job, which just can't agree with. When we say because someone provided a service they deserve a tip, is a tire shop not providing a service? Is the grocery bagger not providing a service? Industries have seemed to tell us who we should and shouldn't be tipping and we just listen, but if you research tipping, it's history is a very slippery slope that consumers hear and want to trust, and has now been unofficially dictated as being expected. Successful restaurant owners don't pay better wages because they know diners will tip their staff to pay them the rest of a "living wage". If a business can then a business should be paying better, but that comes down to principal, which is a whole different conversation.

Where did 20% come from in the first place? When I go to a restaurant and order $15 burger for lunch and then that same restaurant for dinner and get an $80 dinner, what does a percentage have to do with anything, especially when the waiter simply brought you 1 or 2 plates from the kitchen? I may order 1 glass of wine or a bottle of wine and fill my own glass. Why is gratuity based on the total cost of what we're choosing to personally eat or drink during that meal? If I order the $15 burger and you order the $60 steak and we pay separately, did that waiter do more for you than they did for me that your tip should be 4x the amount?

When it comes to a wedding, yes staff work hard for your wedding, but they should be working just as hard if they had a different job, so them working hard shouldn't be driven by the opportunity for gratuity, but to do their job well. Businesses should be paying their workers fairly and proportionally for the level of service that business provides, since they want to attract people that want to worker harder to be paid more to provide a better service. I don't know that us as the wedding couple are the ones responsible for making sure you're getting paid enough. I work hard at my job providing a service, but because I'm not in front of people gratuity is not part of my income, but just because your job is setting up the chairs or driving the shuttle bus and people see you working ("providing a service") a tip is expected? Unfortunately the wedding business has become a very expensive and profitable business but that doesn't mean that wedding couples should be defaultly responsible for giving you 20% of the chosen service cost. If I just paid someone $3000 for drapery or $2000 as a DJ to play music, or $5000 for my food, I believe that cost should cover what the business thinks it costs to also pay the staff fairly. I never want to feel like gratuity is the carrot that's sadly replaced a good work ethic.

I appreciated reading everyone's perspectives as I gained some alternative perspectives I didn't have before reading the responses. Having had plenty of jobs in different places and different industries I think knowledge and perspective make for a more informed reasoning for our decisions that can help us all feel more sound in our choices.

As a coordinator and a 2023 bride, I think you've gotten great advice to tip those providing services, not products. Tips are not required, but they are always a welcome surprise. Florists, baker, rentals, etc don't need to be tipped. DJ, catering servers, coordinators, and photographers (photographers can be debatable) are usually tipped. However, you DON'T need to tip 20%. If the vendor includes gratuity, you're all good and don't need to tip. For me, if I recieved 20% of our contract amount as a tip I would feel that's excessive. Pricing for events includes prep, and payment for the time it takes to prep is included in total cost. I'm planning on tipping $50 to vendors that are working the reception only, and $80-$100 to vendors that are there the entire day! Also, you can always just ask your vendors about their expectation!

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US federal minimum wage is $7.25 and has remained unchanged since 2009. Now hospitality professionals like food servers are paid less, sometimes $3-5 because their employers expect tips to be listed as income on tax returns. 1 hour of work < price of a sandwich.

If you want fair business practices where people make a living wage, hire vendors that list included gratuity percentage in their contracts. Workers who can project a steady income and fair wages tend to stay longer with employers. This in turn leads to staffing consistency of service; thus better service for YOU.