Not sure if i want a wedding anymore...

Sit down with your fiance and discuss what you're both feeling. Lay out the pros and cons of both sides and decide between the two of you what is best and most important to you. Only you can decide that. If you elope now, you can always have a renewal of vows for your family and friends down the road if you so choose.

Quick story.... when I was a little girl (really really young)... My parents sat me down one day and said (did I mention I was really really young?).... When you decide to get married, we want you to think about this... Do you want a BIG wedding and a mini honeymoon, or do you want a small wedding and a grandiose honeymoon (like we had)?

Fast forward many many many years.... I've never forgotten those words. I have my entire life lived by the notion I want a small wedding and ANYTHING else (don't care if it was a big Honeymoon, New House, etc.). I've known my entire life that a wedding day is just a day which symbolizes something special. At the end of the day, it's just another day. I could spend 1000s, tens of thousands of dollars and to show what? I had a big grand "party" -

At the end of the day, it's your day, yeah, parties are great, celebrating is great, but is it really worth upwards of a $100 per guest? Use that money somewhere where YOU and your FH want it. It's your day. Be happy. You don't have to elope, but you can have a very small / intimate ceremony and use the money where it really counts and on something you can show for it.

It's a tough decision, but talk it out with your FH and come to a conclusion together. This is the first step to truly being a couple. It only gets harder.

I spent 16k on my wedding and honestly i don't regret it. during my planning though i had a ton of moments where i was so discouraged by the cost. but i look back at that day and was so happy i got to celebrate with everyone. BUT i do admit that i wish at times it was smaller so i could enjoy it with people more. so i think if you decide to cancel you can still have celebrations but it could be done more non traditionally such as dinner parties or an informal party at home, etc. i don't think you need some big fancy celebration to celebrate your love but it is for sure worth celebrating.

This right here! Truthfully it depends on everyone's budget and preference. As I got into my 30's I just did not see the point of spending thousands for one day and even when my fh and I were considering a small wedding the places I wanted to get married at I could not justify the cost. I have decided that travel and experiences are more important and knew I would rather a bigger honeymoon than wedding. We are eloping and I will say while a wedding would be nice it is must less stressful planning a ceremony and dinner for four people and I am able to splurge in places I may not have been able to with a full wedding. Every bride will differ on what is most important and for some it is the big day and there is nothing wrong with that. Putting your particular situation in perspective, yes you need to ask your FH his thoughts as it is his day too but truthfully (and I mean no disrespect) but if I were living with my in laws or parents I could not justify spending so much on one day because as you said you would rather get your own place to live and as a married couple you deserve that. Also, if you just want to start being married then there is your answer. It sounds like you are no excited about the thrills of the big day rather starting your life as his wife and that is perfectly fine. Also, read the contracts and talk to the vendors and see how much you would lose if anything at all because I am hearing during COVID that vendors are willing to postpone but not refund.

We are eloping in 18 days in the back yard of a pretty VRBO. I bought a white bridesmaid dress for $168 and there are very affordable veils on Etsy. If money and stress are major factors, don't worry! You can still have a beautiful and meaningful celebration! I had originally wanted a big wedding but with an intimate ceremony, we can focus on us and how our journey and love have brought us to this point, regardless of whatever crazy things are happening in the world. AND, regardless of the favors, decorations, reservations, etc that don't seem as important at the end of the day. A lot of the extra stuff is just to entertain the guests (who may or may not notice/appreciate it), but it's YOUR love and your celebration, however you want it to be! You could even do a small intimate ceremony and stream it live for anyone who isn't attending in person.