Not Sure How to Proceed

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I completely agree with this.

If she says she wants to fight you, there's no way she should be near the wedding. You've got to make sure that the groomsman also understands this.

I would talk to your FH and have him handle it. It's his groomsmen's gf and I wouldn't add any extra stress on top of what you've already endured. She clearly isn't the healthiest person to have around on your wedding day.

Your FH needs to tell his groomsmen that she is not welcome at your wedding. I guarantee you she will cause a scene. Do you have security at your venue?

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%
does he really expect to be allowed to bring someone threatening to fight you to your own wedding? FH should definitely address this with him.

I would just have FH talk to the groomsman and explain the situation. It's not fair to you to have a guest who is that hateful towards you. FH will need to be willing to be down a man.

I would make it clear to my FH that she is not coming to my wedding. end of story. luckily i know he would stand by my decision and would make it clear to his groomsman. if he doesn't understand and backs out of the wedding it is probably for the best.

I think you should talk to your FH and get his opinion. But express to him how you feel because if she really gonna cause drama at your wedding that's not a good thing.

At the end of the day you need to remember that this is your wedding day, this is for you and your husband. You don't need that kind of stress on your big day and to be constantly worrying about if and when the it will hits the fan. I would just explain that to your groomsman and hope that he can understand and still participate. If not tell him no hard feelings and move on.

View Quoted Comment Looks like you've determined what to do. Lawyer to lawyer, though, there is way too much at stake to be involved in any capacity with this girl. Whether it's at a wedding or the bar, it's important for you to keep your distance. You know this and I agree. I don't think logic and talks will work with this girl. She enjoys the drama too much and likely will twist what you say to make it even more drama. This chick is not an asset, she's a liability. This is most definitely not on you. Also, it's great that you and FH are on the same page.

Wow I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Crossing fingers that it goes well when your FH has a talk with the groomsman involved. You've probably already considered this or have it locked down, but you should surely have event insurance just in case she convinces you to let her in or shows up uninvited. She sounds very unpredictable and obviously unpleasant.

I read your comment above about not being the kind of person who wants to exclude others and I find that so admirable and delightful. But weddings by nature are exclusionary in practice. Unless you have millions of dollars to spend and can invite everyone who's ever come into your life, you've probably already had to make some tough decisions about who to include and who not to include. Obviously, her relation to the wedding party itself makes it tougher, but it doesn't make you a thoughtless person to disinvite her. It just means you are being extra thoughtful toward all your other invited guests who are also likely to have a better experience if she is not in attendance.

Good luck, good vibes and keep us posted! xxoxoxoxox

Uhm, wow. How old is this girl? I read a response of yours and it sounds like you had a conversation with your FH, so that’s a plus! I think it’s probably a good idea to wait things out a bit to see what happens between groomsman and crazy girlfriend. If things fizzle out, no prob! If they get serious, your FH definitely needs to bring up these concerns to his groomsman and let him know what’s been going on. He may have no idea she’s been acting this way!

I am sorry but this is YOUR wedding, your FH needs to be on your side and tell his groomsman to tell his gf to back the Flip down !! no one likes a drama causer ! and if he cannot understand is he really your FH real friend!?

Absolutely NEVER would I allow this woman to be at my wedding. If the groomsman can't understand why, he is welcome to back out. This is serious. Spreading the word that she intends to be in a fight with you (what is she, 12?!) makes her a threat. Surely your future husband would never insist upon having her there, putting the happiness of his groomsman over the safety of his bride.

So I'm not going to give any advice as everyone has already given you the responses I would give you. I am very curious what ended up happening though...? Did she go nuts or did groomsmen understand? I hope for your case everything went smoothly because that will be one less thing to worry about down the road.

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I am also curious what happened here

I would just tell him we totally want you there but your gf is not allowed to come at all...tell him about all the problems shes caused and just explain its your wedding and its one day not like he cant see her later or whatever bjt shes not to come to the wedding at all if so there will be someone to escort her out and have another groomsman escort her and call cops if need be bc its your day you do not need the hassle or drama its a special day that you should be able to enjoy not worry if shell make a scene and cause a bunch of crap ...also tell him about the threats and thats a big one if he cant understand that then id say ok bye to you to then friends will understand if there true friends and respect you...he will understand if hes a good friend and a good guy..

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Glad I'm not the only one lol

View Quoted Comment This. 100% this.

I would let him know point blank that she is not welcome or invited to the event. No exceptions. She does not deserve to share your special day and will be sure to cause drama. After how she has carried herself, he should understand. If he doesn't understand and/or feels the need to drop out, then it is for the best.