Not Sure How to Proceed

I think it's really your FH's decision since it's his groomsman who will be affected.

Geez. You had me in the beginning thinking you were going to be the rude one but wooowwwwww. That new girlfriend sounds like a nightmare.

The second she threw a drink at me would have been enough to cut her out of the wedding

Geezzz....that's a lot. I know you are probably concerned about how she will behave on your wedding day and all the events leading up to it. Can you consult your FH and have grownup conversation about this issue and then maybe have him discuss this issue with his groomsman?

Nope. I wouldn't want her there if she's threatening physical violence. Has your fh spoke to his groomsman about her?

UMMM cut her out of the wedding!!!! Your safety is way more important than etiquette!

I am really sorry groomsmen, but your girlfriend has threatened to fight me multiple times and disrespected sil so she is not invited to the wedding.

Honestly I think if groomsmen is closer friends with FH then FH should have this talk with him. And if he wants to back out because his crazy, disrespectful girlfriend isn't invited to your wedding.... I guess he's really not that good of a friend and shouldn't be in the wedding anyway.

Hey all! He has not spoken to the groomsman yet. Honestly, we hoped they would break up but they are not buying a home together. The current plan is to address is with groomsman in a few weeks once we kind of see how things develop. I really don't want to be a crazy person, but I'm really concerned about something happening.

No, absolutely not. Her behavior is inexcusable. Throwing a drink wow, leaving someone passed out on the floor of the bathroom, even bigger wow. Maybe have your FH talk to his groomsmen about the situation.

I say cut her out. If you can't bring yourself to, then just know that everyone around you sees her for how she is, and any drama she causes will be known to be on her. Hopefully if she makes any sort of scene at your wedding, those around you might make her leave or get her to calm down. Sorry this is happening! We have a friend with a girl who seems very similar and is very difficult to deal with too.

I’m pretty sure anyone would understand not inviting someone if the reason is they want to FIGHT you. Good gravy. If he backs out oh well. I absolutely would put my foot down about this and I’m pretty chill about everything. This could get ugly, you could have some melodramatic scene you only see in movies like the bride getting pushed into a pool or something.

She sounds horrendous. I think you would well be within reason to not allow her there. She’s an instigator and I would definitely not invite someone to my wedding that threatened to fight me. Hopefully it will work out for the best and that your groomsman would still come without her.

Oh geez! I am sorry that you are dealing with this situation. This sounds like a tricky situation. I understand it because I am in a similar situation only with my MOH and her BF that I can't stand. Anyways, do you have at the venue like the coordinator or anyone that if she did show up that if she got out of hand that she would be removed? If not, maybe hire security? Do you have to have that groomsman, like would it be really bad if he didn't go because you don't want the GF to go? If you do not then I would say tell the groomsmen and if he backs out then sorry but you don't want it to be stressful with someone who keeps causing a lot of drama it seems. It also sounds like having a physical confrontation is what she is wanting and that's not okay! Have you been able to express that to FH and then have him have a conversation with the groomsmen about her?

I would say that she is not welcome. Does your FH know what she did to his sister? He may not care if the groomsman backs out, after hearing about this whole mess.

View Quoted Comment Eesh, if she’s that dramatic and already alienating his friends, if it were me, I’d urge my H to say something to his friend sooner rather than later. He might be blind to it now, and I’d worry that once she has him legally bound via homeownership or otherwise, things will escalate (actually have a friend in a similar situation now). My concern is ultimately more for the groomsmen than how this girl might affect the wedding. Feels like time for an intervention. It won’t go well, but hopefully their friendship can recover. I’d your FH talk to him about how her behavior makes you uncomfortable to the point that she’s not welcome at the wedding. You can’t have someone there who is actively threatening you. Hopefully it might be eye opening to him. If now now, eventually.

View Quoted Comment This...just this.

What a peach she is! That's just unbelievable behavior for an adult. What does FH think? Does his friend know about her behavior? I would definitely not invite her to the wedding.

Yea she sounds terrible. I also would just have the fh talk to the groomsman like hey I love to have you there by my side but there's just been a lot going on with your gf and my wife and I think it's best for everyone if she sat out, if you want to step down due to that I understand but again, it'd be great if you could be there.

Just to answer a few questions:
1. FH hates her
2. Both FH and friend were present and both incidents.
3. We have a wedding coordinator and security

I just keep wondering if maybe I sit down and talk to her? I don’t know. I don’t want to be the kind of person who excludes others

I say sit down and talk with her first and if that doesn't go far at least you can tell your FH and Groomsmen you tried.

View Quoted Comment Are you crazy? I'm sorry, but really you want to have a chat with her and be all chummy? No. And really groomsmen is a scumbag for cheating. My friends, especially ones good enough to be in my wedding, tend to hold similar values that I do. I would have trouble looking him in the face knowing he cheated and his actions caused one of ur friends to drop out of ur wedding. I think you need to re-evaluate some friendships.... He can't be that good of a friend if he cheated on a girlfriend.

Just No.... No...