Not Sure How to Proceed

View Quoted Comment I actually agree with this, but as he is not my bridesmaid, I felt that was FH’s place to decide not mine. But I do have to say it was an unhappy and unhealthy relationship on both sides - not that it makes it okay, but neither party was entirely blameless.

I cant believe your FH isn't standing up for his sister! This girl left his sister passed out drunk and throwing up on a public bathroom floor! That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard another female do. She literally could have choked and died on her vomit. Or someone could have found her and raped her passed out on a bathroom floor!

View Quoted Comment I also do not think sitting down and having a conversation with her is the same as being chummy.

She wants to fight you? What is she, 12? Does the groomsman see how she is or is he blinded by love? I think FH, and maybe you too if you're close with him, need to have a heart to heart with him about her in general. Not only could she potentially ruin your wedding she's ruining all of his relationships and will end up ruining his life. But definitely do not let her come to your wedding as hard as it might be. You dont need the stress she would cause. Even if nothing happened you'd be worried all night about what she might do. No, she's not invited and if he doesn't like it I'm sorry too bad. It's your wedding day. You should be surrounded by love.

View Quoted Comment I’m not sure what gives you the impression he isn’t standing up for her. It was definitely addressed. I didn’t go over every detail of every incident, just the points to highlight her behavior.

I would definitely talk to your FH, plus if this guy can cheat on his gf of 3 years, with someone like this chick.. do you really want that guy standing up with you when you guys commit your lives together????

Then I guess have another chat with her and hope she learns to be less trashy by your wedding day and invite her to the wedding? Sounds like that's the advice ur looking for.

Cut her immediately! Tell the groomsman you're sorry but he's dating a nutcase and when he's ready to walk from her you'll support his choice. She's probably hurting him behind closed doors too

Wow! I agree with everyone except for the having a chat with her part. She sounds scary. I would definitely talk to the groomsman or just cut her out completely. You don't need that in your life!

I don’t understand why the groomsman wasn’t involved in this story. Ok, so he cheated and broke up with the BM (which is bad enough but you were right not to choose sides), but where was he when his new girlfriend was having a temper tantrum? What did he say when he heard what she did to the sister? You need to have a serious discussion with your fiancé, and maybe the groomsman isn’t the good friend you think if he’s ok with his girlfriend treating you (or anyone) this way. I think it’s totally appropriate for the girlfriend to be excluded from any wedding related activities from here on. I wish you luck.

Thanks for the impute, all! FH is going to y’all to groomsman and tell him she isn’t invited. If he doesn’t want to be in the wedding, it’s whatever at this point. He obviously isn’t the person we thought he was!

Glad I’m not overreacting!

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Ok, I have to admire your willingness to be inclusive and all that, the bigger person, etc. But, are you out of your mind? This woman threw a drink at you THE FIRST TIME YOU MET HER!!! I mean, what sane, rational adult acts that way? And all because you wouldn't be party to her taunting the ex, who is your friend.

I like your three points here. It means that nobody can say you just overreacted, or are being a bridezilla, since FH witnessed both incidents, and he hates her! After the way this woman treated his sister, I'd hate her too.

It's a really good thing that you have security and a coordinator to deal with anyone having ideas about crashing or getting out of hand. But I think you can probably handle this before the wedding even comes. FH should talk to GM, and tell him how he feels about this woman's behavior, and make it clear that neither one of you want her at your wedding. If that means he wants to back out, so be it.

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No, your future hubby is the one to talk to his friend and explain it NOW so that if he wants to back out of the wedding, he can do so now. You are not excluding her, her behavior is excluding her. She is actively threatening you? Not a debate - she needs to go.

Oh no thanks! I'd get together with your fiancé and tell the groomsman together that his girlfriend is not invited or welcome at your wedding! If he drops from the bridal party too because of it, that's honestly worth it to just not have to deal with her psychotic ass. I can almost promise you she WILL cause a scene at your wedding.

Ugh, hire security and give them her picture!

I would very blatantly tell the groomsman that she is not invited and the cops will be called if she crashes the wedding. If you don't have a relationship with him then have your fiance do it. It's your wedding, screw everyone else. The last thing you need is someone there who is going to cause you stress, be disrespectful, and likely ruin the entire celebration. Plus, if the groomsman decides not to go, then you could have your bridesmaid attend. I don't know your relationships but maybe that's an upside?

I would talk to your groomsman and explain your story to him. Say that you really dont want to have drama at your wedding and that you dont feel comfortable with her at the wedding. I know that it is a tough situation but you have to feel comfortable at your wedding. Tell him that it means a lot to you that he attends and is still part of the wedding.

Don't bother talking to her. She can't come. If the bf's groomsman backs out because she can't come, then too bad. They deserve each other.
She wanted a pic with you to send her bf's ex gf, after she and bf cheated on the ex
She threw a drink because you have an iota of grace and class
She threatened to fight you
She pushed shots on everyone and left an unconscious friend in the bathroom

At this point, it's not up to your fiance anymore. She crossed a line when she threw a drink. She crossed another line when she declared her desire to fight you. It doesn't matter if it hurts the groomsman's feelings. This piece of trash acted violently and threatened you with violence. She wanted to get a rise out of the ex, who will be doing a reading. There is absolutely no way this woman will not get drunk and instigate trouble, possibly even violence. You don't want to jeopardize your safety or that of your guests. We are not talking about regular drama. Do you want to be held liable if she hurts one of your guests?

There is something wrong with this woman. You should be getting a restraining order, not mulling over whether to invite her to your wedding. You should, however, have your fiance break the news to his groomsman, as it's his friend. If the gf is there, she'll prob throw another drink or worse.

I think you’re spending too much energy on a person who doesn’t deserve it. I think it’s best to make a decision with your FH not to invite her and make it clear to his groomsman that she’s not invited because of her behavior. She’s not going to change. She might behave or put a good face for a bit if you give her a chance but she sounds toxic and won’t have a problem ruining your day. I would cut her off now and move on to more important matters.

Personally, I would not invite this woman to your wedding. She has displayed every reason for you to NOT invite her. She has threatened you with physical harm, left your FH's sister in a dangerous situation because she thought it was funny, and has threatened physical harm on your friend.

If your FH or his GM have a problem with your decision, remind them that his girlfriend has already threatened you with physical violence and you don't feel comfortable or safe with her around. In addition, it sounds like she might do something to your friend if the two of them are in the same room. Your friend has already stepped down as your BM because of this drama. If it were me, I would choose having my friend enjoy herself the best that she can over this new woman who isn't even your friend at all. I wouldn't want to put my friend in a situation where she would get hurt or be too uncomfortable to even attend my wedding.