Not inviting people who didn't invite you

Just because you did not receive a save the date does not mean you are not invited. If you sent them a save the date you must invite them.

It would be rude to not send them an invitation after sending them an STD.

Maybe they set STDs to out of town guests only...or family only. There could be several reasons you didn't get an STD but would still be invited to the wedding.

You sent a save the date - that is an invitation before your invitation - you have to invite them now.

First off, what @AlwaysMs. said. Some couples only send save-the-dates to guests who would have to make extensive travel arrangements to attend.

Second, are you sure these friends aren't having small weddings, with, say, only family and the wedding party?

They sent save the dates to friends of ours who aren't out of town guests or family. And both couples are having big wedding (200-250 guests each, which is way more than my wedding). I think sending an invitation is still the thing to do, but I just felt some type of way about it, idk.

It's not a game... we aren't 12 and these are birthday parties. Invite ppl that mean something to you, just because they may not consider you as close OR maybe are having smaller guests lists doesn't mean it's tit for tat. Especially if you sent them a std you can't NOT invite them..

Don't be petty!

I can't change my avatar because I am a mobile user

Not trying to be petty, just wanted everyone opinions which I appreciate very much. My FH is more cutthroat than I am, and since he brought it up I figured I would ask you guys

We invited people who didn't invite us (some family, some friends). We had a couple of reasons for this (and yes we did feel a tiny bit salty, but got over it):

1. Their wedding may have had a different budget than ours

2. Relationships change

3. Honey catches more flies than SALT

4. We knew some people who were getting married in the same month as us might have been being petty and waiting to see if we invited them first

If you've already sent the STD, you must send an invite whether you feel salty or not. It is the right thing to do and in the end you come out looking like the bigger person instead of looking petty and immature.

They aren't my best friends, but they are close enough where they have asked me for wedding advice/help. One of the girls was supposed to get married in 2014 but was dumped 2 weeks before her wedding, and I was invited to that wedding and spent a lot of money on a shower gift and wedding gift for her and helped her get through that rough time in any way I could. That's why I was a little taken back I guess.

Just because you didn't get a save the date doesn't mean you won't be invited.

First yes, a STD is the promise of an invitation.

Secondly, weddings are not quid pro quo. Just because you invited them to yours doesn't mean they were obligated to invite you to theirs. You also don't know what their situation might be - likely, they have a limited budget and had to make hard choices about who to invite.

Natalie: you can change your avatar even from mobile. There is a post titled "Avatar Help" that will help. You can always access the desktop version by going to weddingwire.com, go to the bottom of the main page where it says "Desktop Version" and click.

I didn't send save the dates to everyone. It doesn't mean you aren't invited.

But you sent a save the date which means you are getting an invitation so yes, you have to.

If you sent a std they absolutely must get an invite.

Thank you guys for the avatar help! It's changed and thank you also for the advice. I will be sending the invites

Yay avatar! Good decision, Natalie!

If you love them invite them. Don't pull an immature of "well you didn't give me one so I'm not going to give you one". You don't know their situation. They could be having money issues and who knows what else. Yeah I'd probably be sad but still send the invite

Weddings aren't birthday parties -- its not a tit-for-tat, "I invited you so you should invite me" type of thing (had a LONG conversation with my mom about this as she wanted me to invite kids simply because I was a kid at their parents' weddings). Follow proper etiquette --- If they got a STD, they get an invite, regardless of whether you were invited to their wedding.

Yes you still need to send them an invitation because you already sent the save the dates.