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Super August 2017

Not inviting people who didn't invite you

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Natalie, on February 11, 2017 at 11:34 AM

Posted in Planning 24

I am getting married in August and had sent my save the dates out in November. There are a few couples that we know are getting married after us in August as well and they have actually talked about their weddings with us. I just found out that these 2 couples getting married after us sent out their save the dates and we didn't receive one. Would you send these people an invitation still even though you are not invited to their wedding? I don't want to be rude since I already sent them a save the date, but I kinda felt a little bad knowing I'm not invited to theirs and I also feel like I had the decency to invite them to my wedding and they did not think to do the same. What do would you guys do in this situation?

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24 Comments

Master July 2016
Mrs.D · on February 12, 2017 at 2:27 PM
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Is it possible they only sent save the dates to VIPs like close family they KNEW would be there? That they are unsure of their exact budget and what that will allow their guest list to end up being and they didn't want to be rude and have to "uninvite" people they weren't sure they could afford to host?

You don't know their exact situation. Don't be petty.
If you liked them enough to have them on your list already, then send them an invite.
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Master March 2018
Orchids · on February 12, 2017 at 2:49 PM
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Sheesh, this sounds very petty. As you probably know by now, making the guest list can be agonizing and sometimes hard choices have to be made. If you are close enough to these folks to invite them, enjoy having them at your wedding and don't worry about whether they invite you to theirs. It's not a competition and it's not tit for tat.
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Super October 2017
Lauryn · on February 12, 2017 at 2:51 PM
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I get the initial inclination to be petty. I wanted to be too.
FH got invited to TWO weddings last year and I wasn't invited. The couples said they only invited spouses, not girlfriends (we weren't engaged yet but have been dating for 6 years). I was (and still am) VERY salty about it. I didn't want to invite those two couples, but we are inviting them because they are still good friends/frat brothers of FH (the men at least... their wives are another story). Like PP said, it's about who you two want to celebrate with, not just an invitation exchange tallying list.
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Devoted August 2017
Erin · on February 12, 2017 at 2:56 PM
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Well, you already sent the STD, so it would be very expected that you should invite them. But just because you're not invited to theirs doesn't mean that you shouldn't invite them to yours. A fairly close friend of mine is getting married this summer but keeping her wedding super small, I did not get an invite and still inviting her to mine. I have also known friends that their parents paid for the wedding, so were unable to invite many of their close friends, but still got invited to their friend's weddings that were paying themselves and chose their own guest list. There are a lot of factors to take into account. If you wanted to invite them in the first place, I wouldn't let their guest list change how you feel.
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