Not Inviting Extended Family

Your pay, your say. People will understand weddings are expensive, so don't feel guilty for not inviting them. I'd try to avoid any contact with those family members in order to avoid conversations about your wedding and possible self-inviters. Plus, you said you hardly know them.

I think it's kind of shady to avoid all contact with family members so you don't have to hold an "uncomfortable" conversation with them. If you speak to them and the topic comes up, just say "we would have loved to invite everyone but it just wasn't feasible for us." Any reasonable adult should understand that. And if they don't? Oh well.

PS: I'm giving myself this same advice.

I'd just say (if they ask) that due to the venue you have to keep things small. I think most people will understand, especially if they're not someone you see or speak to often.

Ours held the same number, too. I wasn't asked too much - my mother, grandmother, etc. fielded the inquiries, from some possible guests. My grandmother even told a few wanna be guests that it held 80. Issues arose because of only two things:

My sister married the year before me. She fell in love with a much larger venue. Our guest list was 40% what hers was. A number of people who attended that wedding automatically thought they'd be invited to ours. We invited the closer friends/relatives, but we also had hubby's side to consider, and since it was a few hours from home, we invited 3 different couple who lived in the area, but hadn't been invited to my sister's.

My grandmother thinks weddings are family reunions and wanted us to invite estranged/distant relatives. The only way she gets to see my uncle's family is if she pays for them to go to a resort, which is local for her. (Long story ... ). She sent me nasty e-mails demanding I invite them. My family doesn't even have their address; he and my father exchange 1 e-mail a year, and that's it. Sorry, but if you don't even rate a Xmas card from my family, you can't expect to be invited to our small event.

P.S. Oh, and my mother in law considers her church "family" her family. She wanted to invite 100 church members. She said they wouldn't come. Nipped that idea in the bud ...

We did the same thing for budgetary reasons. We just told our parents that we wanted something small with just our neatest and dearest. Most everyone was fine with it. Those who weren't didn't matter as they weren't paying.

We had a very limited guest list count. Our venue held a max of 42 people including us. Many of our friends and family did not make 'the cut'. If I or my DH had not talked to a family member/friend in over a year they were not on the list. Then to narrow it down even more, they had to be inner circle close.

And the simple answer to people that ask, " our space is very limited" will be fine and no reason to go any further.

A small venue is the perfect excuse

I have a small family to begin with. My parents and aunt were invited. That's it. No first cousins or anyone else. Husband's family is a bit bigger but we still limited to the people we see and talk to the most. Invite close family only. If you haven't talked to them in a year or more...no need to invite.

We had a small guest list (70, ended up with 55), only inviting immediate family, friends, and some extended. I didn't invite my aunts and uncles because they're assholes. My husband invited his aunts and uncles, but no cousins. We didn't make a formal announcement or touch base with anyone to explain why they weren't invited. We've since seen some of my husband's cousins and there wasn't any awkwardness.

I've never been offended that I wasn't invited to a wedding. I understand why and still offer my congratulations.

Thank you for all of the advice and suggestions! After reading a comment, I've decided the best way to describe the situation is that we are only inviting our closest "inner circle" of friends and family. Some of our "family" includes people who are not actually related to us, but whom we see or speak to daily in our town and go on multiple camping trips throughout the year. So although they are not family, I speak to them, and have more in common with them than my actual family members who live quite a ways away. I'm hoping my mother and father will understand my reasons. Any suggestions on how to respond to them if they seem disapproving of the matter? Lol. Thank you all again!