Not inviting 20 kids to wedding - need reassurance

You must state somewhere that kids are not invited. I feel you know your family and friends better then us so it's up to you. I made a website and put it in the website and every time someone asks i mention it bc my family will show up with all 10 kids bc they feel their kids are a package deal when they are not especially at my wedding. And seriously frozen I would have died lol.

Choosing "adult only" is up to you, obviously its your wedding.

But I would be mindful that some parents may not be able to afford childcare plus a wedding gift, so they may just skip out on your wedding.

With that said, we invited only "family" kids... Of course we invited our nieces who were flower girls, along with a few other cousins, who came from out of town. (Please note that it can be extra hard for out of town family to not bring their kids with them...its one thing to have a 1 night sitter, but to leave them with someone for a few days-a week can be extra draining)

Also, we did not invite any kids of friends, and yet a couple still felt like they can bring them. So BEWARE of this. Will you get all bat-sh&t crazy if this happens at your wedding? Or will you let it slide?

I also agree any "no kids" or "adult only" lingo on your invite/website is completely rude.

Good for you! Kids enjoy adult weddings about as much as adults enjoy a five year old's birthday party. B.O.R.I.N.G!

You're not interested in bouncy houses, face painting, and nauseating amounts of sugary treats. Likewise, kids are not interested in dressing in uncomfortable clothing that they're always picking or pulling at (in the most awkward of places), sitting in a seat for a half an hour listening to a wedding ceremony, and then being told to sit down, sit down, sit down, etc.

I know there are people who believe that those of us who don't believe kids belong at adult weddings are child haters. They claim to be shocked and horrified by our alleged hatred of children. That's BS. Don't buy it.

My experience is that parents of young kids LOVE the idea of dressing up, attending a wedding, enjoying some cocktails, dancing cheek to cheek, and eating a great meal. They are thankful for the opportunity to carry their cocktails as they visit people they haven't seen in a while -- and they're even more thankful that their beloved children are not there to tug on the hem of their dresses or the back of a suit jacket while shouting, "I have to pee!"

If parents can't deal with leaving their children with a sitter, that's not your problem. I always smile a knowing smile when those same "my kids are coming to your wedding, or we're not coming" parents find a way to secure child care when they're invited to a lavish social event that is essential to mom or dad's professional life. These same people wouldn't dream of bringing their kids to a professional dinner, but they'll pretend you've thrown a monkey wrench into their lives when you don't want their kids at your ADULT affair -- a very expensive, once in a lifetime, it took a year to plan and pay for, affair.

Stand your ground. The invitation goes to Mr. and Mrs. -- not Mr. and Mrs. and family. It's all about getting a babysitter -- and the last time I checked, that's a far easier challenge than speaking to an actual human being at your cable company. If they start complaining, put them in the decline column. There isn't a bride in this country who is obligated to get into the "my kids have to come" debate.

I've seen kids at weddings. I've seen them screaming, hitting, knocking things over, frustrating their parents, completely annoying guests, and sticking their booger and saliva covered fingers into expensive, beautiful, five tier wedding cakes, They do not belong at weddings -- unless the wedding is being held in a backyard or park. If it's super casual, includes picnic tables, and people who show up in shorts -- kids will fit in. If it's a conventional, formal reception that cost the couple five figures, kids don't belong there.

Adults only! Who wants a bunch of kids running around your wedding!!! The only kids were having are my 2 flower girls and my fhs twin sisters newborn bc there coming in from canada

The centerpiece flowers: you're my hero! Lololol

From what I've heard etiquette wise, you don't have to put a note saying kids aren't included. Just address the invites properly to who is invited. I also have my response cards worded to say "We have reserved ___ seats in your honor" to let them know how many people are invited.

We are doing adults only as well. I addressed my invites to Mr and Mrs and didn't not include any children's names. I also labeled my RSVPs with the names of the adults only. I also put a funny, friendly post on Facebook that pointed out how lame weddings are for kids (because it's true) and most of my friends with young kids were pumped to have a night away! Some didn't even bother to RSVP. And that's cool. If you can't spend a few hours away from your child, I (don't) understand. Haha. My little boy has spent many a night at my aunts and my mother's while I do boring adult stuff. He loves it, I love it! Win/win!

It amazes me how many people get upset and offended when they find out that you would like to have a "no kid" wedding.

While I am in the early stages of planning, I've had a conversation with my FH family and informed them that we will be doing no kids, and one person go mad. She informed me that her son would be 4 by the time that got married. I explained to her that while I understand that, we have made a choice aren't willing to bend for anyone. She was upset and told me that she would not be coming, I told her that she has more than enough time for find child care, but if she was unable to come she would be missed but we would understand.

I'm still also playing around with the idea of how do we tell people? I know that it is not "nice" to put it on the invitation or website that it will be no kids, but as some people here have said they have just put the adults and they still assumed. I feel like on our website we will put something about joining us at our no kids reception, and do _of 2 will be attending on the RSVP cards.

We addressed our invites to the specific adult guests. The only kids are our nephews and niece that are in the wedding... theyre family and we cant leave them out. On our website I added a note "please respect our wishes for a child free ceremony and reception." I googled for some nice ways to word it, hope it helps you.

Trust i know! Im still getting tude for wanting a kids free reception! We have kids in the ceremony and our plans are to let them eat be there for the first dance and afterwards the baby sitter would swing by and pick them all up.

The Centerpiece Flowers right on!!

I am wanting to do no children under high school age. So like 14 years old. Other than my sister who will be 13 but she is an exception.

Well, when we told my fiance's sister it would be a no kids wedding, she made a huge fuss and got incredibly offended and said that she wouldn't go to her own brothers wedding if we didn't invite her children and that she was SO hurt that we wouldn't want them there. She's the only sibling on both sides that has kids, 3 nonetheless, and 2 are under the age of ten - they're invited, they're the exception because my fiancé wants his sister there.

The difference between a family of five vs. mom and dad is all in the wording, as Celia said.

"The Smiths" on the invite means mom, dad, johnny, suzie and tammy.

"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" means mom and dad only.

you might still get questions from guests but you'll have to politely shut them down on the spot. blame it on the budget, blame it on FH (if he's cool with that), whatever it takes.

@The Centerpiece Flowers - that is the most real thing I have ever read on this whole website. you win today, you win. that should be posted as a sticky on the main page of the forum as the end-all be-all and there should never be another post about inviting kids ever again.