Not inviting 20 kids to wedding - need reassurance

& for those of you who have had an adults only wedding - how did you address that on the invitation/ website?

*When we told my fiance's sister it would be a no kids wedding, she made a huge fuss and got incredibly offended and said that she wouldn't go to her own brothers wedding if we didn't invite her children and that she was SO hurt that we wouldn't want them there. She's the only sibling on both sides that has kids, 3 nonetheless, and 2 are under the age of ten - they're invited, they're the exception because my fiancé wants his sister there.

Reading this paragraph reminded me why I'm having a kids only wedding.

Honestly, this is one of those wedding things where it's okay to hold firm with what you want. If people have a problem with it, they can stay home. Harsh, but true. ETA: I'm not putting anything on the invitation--it's not polite to state who ISN'T invited. I'm just addressing each invitation only to the people who are invited and I'm having guests initial their meal choices so that I can police any extra guests they try to bring.

Not trying to hijack your post but i have the same issue and i need help. I have the same issue with my former church. I'm not having an adults only ceremony because i have 4 nieces and BM has 2 kids and we are allowing some of our OOT guest bring their kids if they want. So i can't technically say its adult only BUT my former church has this thing where if someone they know is having an event they bring all the kids. I'M TALKING 20 KIDS even when their name is not on invitations. I don't know how to avoid this.

We're doing adults only as well, now the debate is just where to make the cut off (my Mom is saying 18, my Dad is saying 21 because of the open bar). The invites and website don't say that it's adult only, that's handled usually through word of mouth and making it clear on the envelope and the wording on the RSVP card who the invitation is addressed to. ETA: I haven't received any backlash yet because it hasn't really been discussed in depth with anyone except my parents and my FI, but I'm prepared for it to go either way really. I'd be a little taken aback if someone got angry with me about it, but I wouldn't take it personally.

We did adults only. We didn't note it on the website or invites, just only addressed invites to the parents and only listed their names on the online RSVP form. We had two guests ask about kids, others just got the picture without having to ask. When we replied that it would be adults only, one couple was fine with it, the other threw a fit and didn't come. We knew people might have that reaction and decided it was something we were okay with.

I'm having no kids either only my immediate family like my two kids and nieces and nephew it's like 7 kids. I'm going to put on the invite 13 and over only or probably address on RSVP __ out of 2 will be attending. My cousin got married and put no kids and I have kids and I didn't take it personal I really had a great time celebrating with my family.

We are doing an adults only wedding. Etiquette rule would say to put only adults invited on the invite. But you will see from here that some parents assume their children are invited.

I am breaking the normal rule. FH wanted me to put on the invite "adult only reception to follow." I didn't put it on the invite. I added the following to my details card, "due to the intimate size of our wedding, we are having an adults only ceremony and reception."

We did adults only and addressed our invitations to just the people that were invited. DH and I have some older cousins under 21 that are serious trouble and we did not want them there. Just address the invites to Mr. & Mrs. John Smith instead of The Smith Family and then let word of mouth take over.

We're doing adults only...literally even our FG & RB are leaving after the ceremony. I suggest having your family spread the word early so everyone is aware & they can make childcare arrangements. The invites will be specifically addressed to only the adults that are invited. So far I've only heard positive feedback about no kids - parents do seem excited to get a night out. If anyone's unhappy they haven't told me...but if thats the case they don't have to come...

There is nothing wrong with doing an adult-only wedding. Don't put anything on the invite as that's considered rude. Just address the invite to the parents and then on the inside, say that two seats have been reserved for them or only allow room for 2 yes marks on the RSVP card.

The only thing that I would do, though, is invite any children who are in your ceremony to the reception, at least until after dinner. I think it's rude to ask children to be in your wedding and then refuse to invite them to your reception. Just my opinion.

There are no children in my ceremony

I am in the EXACT situation. Me and FH do not have any children, but almost all of our siblings do and everyone in our bridal party does. We would be upwards of 20-25 kids as well. I've been going back and forth on addressing this on the invite too. I've heard opinions that its not needed and people will know if you only put MR & MRS on the invite or __# of seats have been reserved... I want to be straight to the point... so on the RSVP card it will read (most likely I haven't ordered yet) "While we love the little ones, this is an adult affair only."

Like Cory F., FH and I don't have kids, but nearly all our friends and family have kids. If we included all of them, there'd be as many as 50 kids. So our reception is adults only. After sending out our STDs to only those actually invited, we started getting texts, messages, emails from people who assumed their kids were also included. You'd think some of those people would know an invitation isn't automatically all-inclusive, but I guess I was wrong! We made a few phone calls, messaged a few people to clarify.

As for the invitations, we didn't say anything about it on the actual invitation, but we put it on the reception information card as well as on our website. In fact, I created a sort of FAQs page on our website, and one of the first questions is, "Can I bring my children?" Well, no, and we stressed the only kids invited to the reception are those involved in the ceremony (and their siblings). We provided contact info for professional baby-sitting company and left it at that.

ETA: tried to sound more coherent, lol

Don't put it on the invite. Invite exactly the people you want, by name, on the invitation, and be prepared to say no to people who request special waivers.

FH's granddaughter is our FG and she is the only small child invited. My nephew's kids are 17 and 14--they are invited. One of his nieces has four kids--two are married adults, being invited with their spouses but not their children. The other two are 19 and 16--they are invited. I have a brother-in-law about 1000 miles away---his two kids, ages 17 and 14--will be invited, but I doubt that any of them will come. FH's nephews and one other niece are all adults, married and have kids--the kids are not invited. Heck, he doesn't even know them, has never even seen some of them! He hasn't even seen those other nephews and niece in years!! So, we are not inviting kids and our invitations will explicitly say who, by name, is invited-- on the inner envelope.

We addressed who was specifically invited on the outer envelope and on the bottom of the RSVP card, we put "at the request of the bride and groom, this is an adult only event".

Our invites went out last week and ive had some phone calls and text messages to clarify. But irbid what it is and in happy with the decision we made.

I'm also having an adults only wedding. We put "____# of seats have been reserved in your honor" on the rsvps so there hopefully won't be any confusion.

I just want to say that im so happy that this discussion happened. I have been feeling so guilty for wanting to not invite the 15-20 kids (ages from a few months to 14 years) to our reception. This has been very helpful. Thanks!

I'm pro adult only wedding. Our cut off is 21.

I've been to my cousin's wedding and that was all adult too. She cleverly worded in the invitation "please join us in all adult reception at..." Which is cool, though one of the family members decided to bring their kid with them anyways, which I feel is rude.