Not Invited to Rehearsal Dinner

Why the fuck would anyone EVER need to rehearse standing in one place next to a fucking book? That takes no skill and quite frankly MINIMAL brain cells. GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF, it's 2017 and you deserve nothing. Even if you were still doing the flowers, not worthy of an RD invite, and after this behavior my suggestion would be for her to rescind your wedding invite

No, she wasn't in the wrong to not invite you. She shouldn't have asked for your help though either but you're not entitled to a Rd invite

Rehearsal dinner is for those rehearsing for the wedding. You don't need to rehearse being a guest.

I don't think it was necessary to be invited to the rehearsal

Doing the flowers or watching the book is not "part of the wedding"! She probably just asked you to do that because she felt bad saying you don't have to do the flowers anymore. Literally watching a guest book is not even a normal role in a wedding. What is the point of that? That's what signs are for "Sign our guestbook" done. Definitely shouldn't expect a RD invite.

The Rehearsal Dinner is for the wedding party to feel comfortable with their various roles in the wedding. It is not a social function.

I wonder if maybe in the OP's area or even just in their family, it's common to invite extended family or anyone with any role to the RD. If so, maybe that explains the hurt feelings.

I've seen a lot of etiquette stuff on here that doesn't directly apply where I'm from (small town MO), because certain things are more typical there. For example, most receptions have a buffet dinner and open seating, so if your adult child ends up being in town visiting that weekend, or you're unexpectedly babysitting your grandkid, it's not considered rude to call/text and ask if there is space for you to bring an extra person. I will not be the slightest bit offended if this happens at my wedding, because that is how things are there and I'm happy to accommodate if possible. I completely understand why this is NOT possible and considered rude for a lot of other people.

Nah, no reason to have you at the rehearsal dinner unless you're in her bridal party. Suck it up and move on.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say you are the I pay my way type of people brides complain about. I bet you doing the flowers came with ridiculous requests like also wearing a corsage and being invited to the rehearsal dinner.

Liz, I read your entire post, with extreme interest because you were taking on a massive task (if you do truly mechanically based designs as opposed to arranging flowers). Of course you're hurt. If you're known for this in your family, I'm sure you would have like to have been known for it again, and that's what's really getting to you. You're insulted -- as though she made a mistake by withdrawing something she had no right to ask you in the first place (and did you, by any slight chance, even hint at the possibility that you'd do it -- free of charge, as a gift, maybe?).

The point is, a florist is not invited to a RD -- whether she's a pro or an amateur. It doesn't happen. Neither is a guest book minder. Actually, if you're this upset, I think you're being totally disingenuous by accepting the menial jobs she's asked you to do. Yeah, they sound like a consolation prize, and I wouldn't do them. You're obviously not going to do it with a joyful heart -- you'll be pissed off (you're already pissed off). So sucking it up and doing it means absolutely nothing.

So, the right thing to do is to call her and say, "You know, dear niece, I've decided that I'd really prefer to attend your wedding as a guest. You know I arrange flowers, but I'm not comfortable second guessing someone else's work on the day of your wedding, and even if I were, what could I do about it? And watching your book? Surely there's someone who'd love that honor. But, I'm really looking forward to an amazing wedding!"

That would be honest.

Seriously everything Rachel said.

View Quoted Comment I read this after I wrote what I wrote. Those were some wise words. However, also think the invite is separate from the flowers. If you are an aunt who had VIP aunt status or felt like you did, an indication that you were not to them what they are to you, that hurts. It makes sense and is normal. But forgiving is what aunts do so I hope that they found a way to grow closer. I’m going to have to find a way to let my situation go too. I was basically told it was a money thing and if I was invited the grooms mom would want to ask her sisters and then my sister was paying too much. I have to remember to not expect to be treated how I would treat others. When the golden rule is applied by you it can be so different from how others apply it. Perhaps my sister would never be hurt by this. And living with that is just a more peaceful way to go. And painting the town red on your own helps too. I intend to have a kickass time without them and be so glad I was not invited.

I absolutely understand. My niece who I have always been very close with, vacations, holidays, etc invited out of town guests including my sister whim she never speaks to. Invited friends of her mom's also. My daughter's are in the wedding also. I am the only one on our side in the family not invited. I would understand if we weren't all close but we all spend all holidays and have always been very close. I would also understand if she didn't invite all out of town guests before me. I am insulted and so are my daughter's. I even offered to pay for my own dinner to my sister who is her mom so I could be with the family. Etiquette us CLOSE foamy members before put of town guests.