Not being asked to be a bridesmaid at my MOH wedding!!

Claire- refer to my comment two above yours. She literally asked "Am I crazy?"

Damn, y'all are rude for answering a question that OP asked. Using her exact language and all.

/sarcasm

Okay, so first off I understand why you could be a little upset behind not being a BM. You have to analyze the situation and look at all aspects of it. Your MOH probably thought you were busy with your own wedding, so she didn't want to bother you with hers. I wouldn't take it personal I would just ask her before jumping to conclusions. I do want to add that just because she is in your wedding DOES NOT mean that you HAVE to be in hers. Lastly, never expect for your BP to show up for appointments and such because they have lives too.

Ditto everything previous posters said, but I just want to see if I'm understanding this correctly.

She got engaged, got married at the courthouse, AND planned a public ceremony all in 3 months? What was the purpose of the courthouse wedding if she was planning a ceremony in such a short timeframe? That's just bizarre.

You're crazy. She has no duties other than showing up.

Also don't get butt hurt. One of my BMs has many sisters and so does her fiance. I don't expect her to ask me to be in her bridal party just because she was in mine.

There seems to be a few things left out. You never mentioned your MOH was engaged. When you found out were you to busy to show her support. Did you know she was planning something small hers. Seem like she has her interest at heart like you have yours. If you were bestie as you say then communication should be the last thing standing in the middle of your concerns. Though she not having a big wedding this was a very important time for her too.

I am sorry I know this is upsetting, but don't take it personal. Maybe you are expecting too much from her? It's also her wedding..she can have who she wants as Bridesmaids. How long have you been friends and how close is the friendship? Be happy she is your MOH. Maybe she had her bridal party selected before you asked her to be your MOH......?

I would be upset and hurt and knowing me, probably pissed over the fact that I asked a friend to be a MOH and then they didn't even care to ask me to be in the bridal party. It would make me feel like the friendship was all one sided. The immature and irrational side of me would probably be like..fuck you.

That's just something I know about myself and i fully understand that it's irrational and immature. Sorry op.

Eta: I do agree that u were asking too much of her participation. I would more hurt over the perceived friendship you thought you had with her.

The feeling sucks, but PPs are right in the fact that just because you had someone in your wedding doesn't mean that they have to have you in theirs. Maybe she did think you were busy and didn't want to be bothered with those duties, especially after seeing all that you expected out of her.

She is a bit inconsiderate for not showing up to appointments without letting you know. If she can't or doesn't want to go, she should be able to text you beforehand. It takes a minute. Less than if you're tech savvy.

I think she should have at least filled you in that she was picking two people as bridesmaids and you were not one of them. She has a right to choose who she wants but the fact that she didn't even care to address potentially hurt feelings before they happened is a poor friend move in my opinion.

That being said, I'm not having a bridal party - I just do not want the drama. Lol

Wait, what? I'm from the South so maybe it's different, but traditionally the MOH is literally your best and closest friend, even family, and would literally do anything to help you in this happy yet super stressful time, whether you ask or not she should be ready to help you! It seems to me that she doesn't want to be your MOH. You are NOT crazy!

I don't think you're being crazy, but you may have to adjust your expectations of her. this might be disappointing but a necessary evil in the scheme of things. you don't want to make yourself crazy by continuing down this path and letting yourself be hurt by her every time she does something lame.

i agree with others that she doesn't have much obligation as a maid of honor, but as a friend she absolutely does. blowing you off and excluding you from important moments in her life isn't cool and you have a right to feel hurt by that. i would, too!