Not being asked to be a bridesmaid at my MOH wedding!!

You're crazy. She doesn't have any duties other than showing up in the correct dress and standing by your side.

Just because she is your MOH doesn't automatically mean you deserve to be a bridesmaid. While I understand being disappointed it's her day not yours. And also she used required to go to your appointments with you. It's fine if you extend an invite but she is allowed to say no. Come back down from the clouds.

I can understand being disappointed, but being a BMs isnt tit for tat. Also, she isnt responsible for helping you plan your wedding. Maybe she felt like you were asking too much, which is why she put some distance between you.

Jesus Christ, what is with people! OP, get a grip.

If I asked all the people that I have been a bridesmaid for to be a bridesmaid in my wedding, the wedding party would be huge.

All she is required to do is show up, on time, relatively sober, in the dress. She may be your MOH but that is all she is required to do and she does not have to ask you to be in her wedding.

Oh my. So much going on here. Firstly, your bridal party does not have to do anything but wear what you ask (that is a touchy topic for me, but I digress about that) and stand next to you. She does not have to help you plan or attend appointments with you. You should not ask her to help. If she offers, fine, but you should not ask for her assistance with wedding planning/DIYing/etc.

Please clarify: "So, last week my MOH gets married and asked me to go." Does that mean she randomly decided last week to get married and asked you to be there? You said she planned it in three months. She didn't have to ask you to be "a part of it" (presuming you mean a bridesmaid/MOH). No one is required to even have a bridal party, let alone "required" to have specific people as MOH, etc. Just because one person has someone as a MOH doesn't mean that has to be reciprocated.

I wouldn't call you crazy, but I'm not sure what the issue is here.

All of this is why I don't believe in bridal parties

Everything PPs have said

Get a grip OP

1. It is not necessary for your MOH to go to any of your "bridal appointments". The only one I asked my MOH to go to was when she had to practice my bussle. And if she couldn't have made it, oh well, we would have figured it out.

2. Just because you make her your MOH does not mean she has to make you a BM. You expect her to be so involved in your wedding, but you didn't even know the details of her wedding? You don't have to be a BM to ask a question and make someone feel wanted.

3. Sounds like you need to sit down and have a conversation about something non-wedding related, like your relationship.

UO: I would be hurt too. She doesn't have any obligations to go to appointments with you, but it's rude she agreed to go and then never let you know she wasn't coming.

Well, first of all, your bridal party isn't responsible for helping you do anything. It is your wedding, you should be doing all of the work for it. Literally all she is required to do for your wedding is show up in the dress. That's it. So who cares if she hasn't been helping you. Next, I get being disappointed that she didn't include you. I probably would be too. However, Beach makes a great point that it might be because you were asking too much of her so she put some distance between the two of you.

I vote for crazy.

You're crazy for expecting so much of her. Being in the wedding does not require her to attend every appointment you have. Good lord. Please calm your expectations.

As for her wedding, it sounds like she had a very small Bridal party of just two women, so I wouldn't feel too badly. She may just feel closer to those two and that's ok. I understand you would feel hurt, but she still invited you to the ceremony which is an honor since she invited very few people.

I do agree with CJ's mention of not letting OP know she wasn't going. I meant to say that, but got caught up in typing the other stuff. OP's MOH's lack of communication would frustrate me as well (that kind of lack of communication bothers me no matter who it's from).

@Rachel I feel the same way about wedding parties. A whole lot of drama just to have people standing next to the bride and groom on their wedding day. So many posts on WW are about bridesmaid drama. No bridesmaids = no bridesmaid drama

How long have you been friends? What is her response to you when you've gone through rough patches (death in the family, illness, trouble at work, general life stuff)? You could be misjudging how close of friends you really are, or you're asking her to do too much. Waiting days to text you and not being upfront with you sounds like she's either being passive aggressive or not your close friend.

Thank you for the advice. Greatly appreciate.

You are crazy.

What kind of appointments are you asking her to go to? Any planning should be done by you and your fiance, the person you're marrying.

You need to take a chill pill. Her only duty is being on time, (reasonably) sober, wearing the agreed upon dress. There are many good reasons why you are not a bridesmaid at her wedding, please do not let it ruin a friendship.

Take a deep breath.....