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Josina
Just Said Yes October 2022

Non Traditional Timeline

Josina, on January 17, 2022 at 12:27 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
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Hey y’all. So we’re doing things a bit different and I’d love some ideas on the best way to structure things.
So we’re having our ceremony on family land, and as such are keeping the guest list as small as possible (married family+small wedding party only) to keep things easy on my fiancés elderly grandparents who own the land. We were thinking of doing a little cake and punch reception right after and having that be it.
But while we’re not big party people, we do want to do something with extended family and a couple of friends. So we were thinking of doing a cocktail hour kinda thing following our rehearsal dinner the night before the ceremony. This would be around 50 people (our ceremony would have around 30- we have big families haha) and we want it to be super casual. Is this weird?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Josina, on January 21, 2022 at 10:41 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Etiquette dictates that no one should be invited to any sort of pre-wedding event, unless they are invited to the actual wedding as well. An alternative would be to maybe host a celebration in the weeks or months after your wedding.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    It would probably be a better idea to host something after your wedding for a larger group instead of before. Being invited to a cocktail hour, but not the ceremony or reception, might cause some people to feel hurt or left out.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I agree with previous posters that this will go over a lot better if you host it after your wedding. It's fine to have a small wedding guest list, but it will always be a better idea to not invite people to parties celebrating a future event to which they are not invited. This advice stands no matter whether you consider yourselves "traditional" or not.

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  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    I would say it depends on the opinions of the people youre going to invite. Are they going to be understanding and supportive of a small celebration knowing they cant be at the ceremony or punch reception the following day? Is there a chance some family members might try to weasel their way into the ceremony because theyre already at the cocktail reception anyway?

    If you think your guests are going to be chill about it and supportive of you I'd just go for it. There's often mention of etiquette in these forums and I usually dont buy into any of. everyone guests are different, tradition means nothing, and you should do what makes you happy. That being said, its going to be easier for you to cater to the feelings of the people involved.

    My husband and I also did something non-traditional and I have been dragged in these forums. Ultimately I know the people coming to my wedding are going to support us in our marriage no matter what the celebration or order of operations looks like. Throw tradition out the window, it's 2022.

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  • B.
    Dedicated June 2022
    B. ·
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    I agree with the person above who said it’s all about knowing your guests/community. Especially during these covid-times, I think most people are pretty understanding of the need to limit gatherings. I wonder if it might make more sense to have a post-wedding brunch with that other group of folks who aren’t attending your ceremony. That way it’s not linked to the rehearsal, and it’s a big celebration of your wedding the next day.
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  • Josina
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Josina ·
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    Thanks everyone for your thoughts! My fiancé has been feeling really nervous about the reception which is why we were leaning towards something quick and small before so there was no pressure, but we could still see everyone. However, after some discussion I think we’ve settled on a casual “cake and punch” after party with our extended family, short and sweet, so he won’t feel too burnt out from being the center of attention all day (we’re both shy, but him way more) and, truthfully, because there would be less questions about why we’re doing things differently haha. Thanks for your input y’all!
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Sounds good! Have a great event. A cake and punch reception is actually pretty normal. One thing with those is if you can, maybe add a veggie tray for those that can't take a lot of sugar.

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  • Josina
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Josina ·
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    Thanks for the tip! Would’ve never thought about that
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