Non-Negotiables...

Open bar....open bar.....open bar

but in all seriousness, I wanted an open bar, flexible venue in terms of decorating etc..., and good food.

Hm... I wanted cute invitations and I was NOT going to print them out ourselves. My best guy friend was going to stand on my side - only if FH had no problem with it though. I'll edit if I remember more.

ETA: I remember what a big thing I have is. NO cowboy boots in the bridal party, no hay bales, nothing "country". Hahah.

Lace... good photographer/videographer... FOOD... open bar.

Having a lace wedding dress, getting married somewhere outdoorsy and having a wedding/reception that is personalized to us as a couple - not a ballroom, cookie cutter wedding.

Ability to have an outdoor ceremony at the same venue as the reception. It was huge stressor early in the planning process, but we were able to work it out.

The ceremony had to be outdoors (weather permitting--spouse insisted on an indoor alternative). Pro photography was a must. Trying on as many dresses as possible was a must.

Must be married in an Italian Catholic Church, must have real rose gold and pink morganite jewelry as I want to pass as an heirloom, lace dress, no ball gowns, cathedral veil, my wedding color blush, married in Tuscany, and for my ceremony song Ave Maria. Have a beautiful reception site and place where our guests will stay for the week.

Oh and the VERY best photographer (which I have)!

I HAD to get married outside, on beautiful grass and I HAD to have the reception inside. It was harder to find than you might think in October in Arizona. Everyone and their mother was reseeding their grass on October 12th. WTF. I literally cried at work one day when I sent my FH to look at our 15th venue and he said, uh, their reseeding, we have to get married inside. But we finally found a golf course that doesn't reseed until the week after because they always have a huge event on the second saturday of October!

Our officiant.

If FH wanted someone different, we would have done a dual officiant wedding.

1. Open bar

2. Amazing food

3. Great photog

- My best friend/"brother from another mother" was able to walk me down the aisle

- I wanted classy invitations

- I'm having a slumber party with my mom, sisters and godmother - playing games, laughing and crying

- Little to no DIY

- A wedding planner was a must (at distance, too much on my plate - pay somebody else to do the leg work)

- Outside food vendors

- Ceremony/Reception at the same place

Hmmm

This is the second time around for both of us, so there were things I didn't do the first time I got married that I wanted to do this time.

I'm wearing a veil. Walking down an aisle. Tossing a bouquet. Dancing.

But, honestly, I just wanted to have the people we love around. FH would have been happy eloping to the beach.

Oh, absolute non-negotiable was the wedding date. I really, really wanted a Valentine's Day 2014 wedding for a variety of reasons. My religious family would have preferred we just "get it done" before we moved in together. In Colorado we literally could have just signed the marriage license and mailed it in, but I was not going to let anyone else tell me what to do.

Oh, and female officiant.

Photographer

Amazing food and cake and photographer

The rest I wasn't as specific about.. I just knew what I wanted when I saw it

Things that have been absolutely non-negotiable for me:

- No debt for the wedding

- Absolutely 100% no god talk (I'd say "non-religious," but we're incorporating some Jewish traditions)

- Non-white dress and no veil (white = white, off-white, ivory, champagne, blush ...)

- No inviting my dad

- Top-notch cake with no fondant

- No bouquet/garter toss

Booze & band.

I wanted a really nice venue. Which we got, for a goooood price if you ask me. Lol. And I want delcious food and SOME free drinks. I hope it all turns out the way I hoped. Some of the things I don't care so much about are: invites, favors, and spending a fortune on my dress.

My parents and sister HAD to be there. Family is everything to me and it wouldn't have felt complete without them there.

It had to be decided by US and FH had to make sure to grow a pair and keep his mother in check.

My photographer was something I was NOT willing to compromise on (thank God FH loved them!) and my dress needed to have color somewhere.

We wanted it to be a Saturday 100%, and be able to invite everyone we wanted (i.e. we realized we would have to skimp on other stuff but it was really important to us to be able to include everyone!)