Non-Alcoholic Alternatives

Jacks, I am referring to the instances such as "high horse sober sally," "idiotic," "pathetic," etc. There are nicer ways to express one's opinion without being straight-up rude and aggressive.

Vivian, posters on WW are pretty blunt with their opinions. While it can be shocking at first, you will come to LOVE the honesty. It is very helpful when it comes to planning your wedding. Your friends won't tell you what they really think about your plans, but WW will! Trust me, you want these posters' advice.

I'm definitely not complaining about the advice. Believe me, I really appreciate the varying viewpoints on things. And being blunt isn't a problem. Being rude is a problem. I can be blunt and honest and share my opinion without name calling and being aggressive.

@FB99 Just because something is common doesn't mean it's right.

One of my bridesmaids is Ismaili (a Muslim sect), she's marrying a Christian. Ismailis don't believe in drinking alcohol, but the couple will be serving alcohol because not all guests will be Ismaili, they are properly hosting.

@FB99 I assure you that wasn't my intention. I did genuinely want advice on my situation. After reading the first few comments on this post, I called my FH and we had a long conversation and came to a conclusion about what we are going to do for our reception. So that's all squared away. I do thank everyone for their advice and for sharing their thoughts with me. I just don't think it needed to be worded in the way it was.

Oh, come on. A war zone? Really?

Umm...sorry you, OP, feel the need to take the teacher's role and chastise all of us for responding to the evolving nature of this thread. How many people have, within their rights, commented on other members' posts -- not your OP? Plenty. You have been handed advice via the majority (and the minority), and now it's up to you, your FH, and your budget to either host a real bar or not.

As for "fun mocktails"...that's an oxymoron, and since someone besides you posted that foolishness, we are allowed, via the CGs, to address it.

Don't, for a minute, believe that we respond to these never ending dry wedding posts because we salivate over the opportunity to repeat ourselves for the umpteenth time. You're going to do what you want to do -- based on our advice and experience or in spite of it. We're not attending your wedding, and honestly, are not invested in your reception, although we want you to have a wonderful wedding, and that's based on good hosting, A dry wedding is not something most adults want to attend, despite what the minority may tell you.

However, there are hundreds of lurkers who are watching these threads, and they are wondering how to host their weddings. Every single opportunity that presents itself, regardless of who authors the original post, reaches women and men that won't weigh in, but will take good advice, and good advice, as far as wedding receptions are concerned, requires proper, adult hosting.

The "building each other up" tagline has been used again and again by self-catering, friendor using, dry wedding/cash bar, potluck brides to quell the majority opinion when it comes to proper etiquette, but the problem inherent in that reasoning is that there are two different definitions of "building up". For some, it means asking for and accepting the truth. For others, it means, "fortify and support my position, regardless of how tacky or cheap it is...and, for good measure, tell me that my guests who expect more are just rude, potential substance abusers who are looking for a free (hah!) night and/or don't belong at my wedding."

So, you're not okay with the responses...oh, well. Nobody, as far as I can see, has violated the TOS or CGs.

Like I said before, we should be building each other up instead of tearing each other down. Constructive criticism is helpful and welcome as long as it doesn't become vicious. In the meantime, my comments will hopefully serve as a happy and supportive shoulder to lean on, regardless of the direction in which I am supporting my fellow brides.

This isn't a support group, nor is it about "building each other up". That's generally not what you're going to get here. Sometimes it does happen; I was really grateful for the support I got from people here during a recent bout of hospitalization. But people are not going to support someone having a dry wedding just because she's a bride.

Most women will get married at least once in their lives. Being a bride isn't that special.

@Delfina Oh my gosh I'm so sorry to hear about the hospitalization. I hope everything is okay. On another subject, when I say that I think we should be building each other up and supporting each other, I'm not saying we should just blindly accept everything every bride says. I'm not into that and I don't expect others to be into that either. Like I said, constructive criticism is important and very much welcomed. It's literally just the wording we use to express our constructive criticism that should be geared as supportive.

I'm going to be okay, thank you.

And because I've looked at a couple of your posts and I think you're actually a pretty cool person, I'm going to aim to be as constructive as possible here.

I hardly ever drink, because at age 21 I realized I was standing on the edge of a bad drop, and I needed to stop myself. My FH cannot drink. because he has a liver condition that forbids it. But we are still serving alcohol because our misfortunes won't stop us from treating our guests to the best possible time on the best day of our lives. I think that's really important.

Give your guests a CHOICE. Offer wine, beer AND mocktails. Let them have fun choices if they choose to abstain. Providing a fun option for those who want to stay sober can help them stick to that decision. And for those who don't, let them have fun too.

I'm just wondering how many of these dry wedding supporters drink alcohol occasionally. I don't drink very often, only on special occasions. And I think a wedding would be a very special occasion indeed. I think most people would agree with that last statement.

We can argue about how to properly host a wedding (I won't get into those details, because PPs did a good job with that). It comes down to the fact that a wedding is a special event, a lot of people use alcohol to celebrate special events, so it should be available for those who want to celebrate your wedding with alcohol.

@Delfina Aww thanks. You seem like a pretty cool person too. Your comments are very much noted.

All right! Mutual appreciation all around then. Now go to the other thread and talk Yondu with me plz!

So, we can be honest, as long as the semantics jell with you. Okay....so noted.

Vivian? We're trying to save you, that's all.

I think part of the hostility is that this topic comes up literally at LEAST once a day, if not more, and with four stars, you should have read enough of them to know what your thread would bring you, especially using the, "my family has alcohol issues' defense, which is really just a coverup for excuse #1..."we're cheap." And your guests will see through this as easily as they see through a vodka tonic without the vodka. These posts always turn into war zones. Every. Single. Time.

You didn't get called any names you got solid advice which all comes down to have some alcohol served by licensed people and you'll be fine.

The day is about the two of you and you don't need to feel pushed to have alcohol if it's not what you want to do.

We're having sweet tea, lemonade, water, and coffee punch. FH wants to have bottles of sparkling grape cider. I think it's childish, but whatever.

Vivian, I would suggest also asking this on other wedding forums as well. People here are very anti dry wedding so you're going to get very one sided advice. If you really want a dry wedding then i think you need a morning/early afternoon wedding. You're not going to get people out all night dancing with a fun mocktail so adjust your expectations on that if you're expecting an evening dry wedding where people dance the night away. I'd also talk to a wedding planner who has done dry weddings before. They'll hopefully know what works and what doesn't.

Perfect K. Ask for advice and if you don't hear what you want, go to another forum.

And I doubt that any planner except Pia would recommend dry weddings. I work with some of the best and i'm sure they'd try to talk you out of it. Etiquette, you know?