Non-Alcoholic Alternatives

Lol-ing so hard my boss came in. Guess what. My house is in a neighborhood, I always serve alcohol to my guests and the police have been there exactly ZERO times.

Clip clop

I don't know how else to put it. I am an alcoholic. I've only been sober 2 months. My dad is also an alcoholic (sober for 30 years, he's a fucking inspiration). There will be alcohol at my wedding. No ifs, ands, or butts about it.

ETA: I TYPO SO HARD

'I've only been sober 2 months. My dad is also an alcoholic (sober for 30 years, he's a fucking inspiration). There will be alcohol at my wedding.'

Yes but is your venue in a neighborhood? If so tut tut.

The people who have issues will STILL FIND A WAY TO DRINK.

Serve alcohol, don't be rude to your guests.

Lol @ Lori -- you reaching pretty hard on this one. ITS SO RUDE to be a shitty host at an event where people are taking the time to come to you, give you a gift and celebrate with you. And not providing alcohol is shitty hosting 99.9999% of the time. And you aren't the exception.

Maybe only 2 people said something to you, but everyone will be talking behind your back.

Your reasons: people don't need alcohol to have fun (wrong, it's a social lubricant and encourages conversation, dancing, etc),cost (nothing is more important than properly hosting... get rid of decorations or cut back on STDs/invites or something else you are probably spending a boatload on), and avoiding things getting out of hand because your reception is in a neighborhood and you don't want the cops to come (seriously, are you ten years old? Treat your guests like adults. Hire a bartender and security. )

The amount of "it's my day my way" entitlement on this thread is outta control... as soon as you invite one guest, it's ceases to be all about you. Shitty hosting is not something to be proud of.

Oluvia, I think she was just snarking on the post that said that you can't have alcohol in a neighborhood venue without the place burning down.

I'm going to disagree with most other posters on this. It's your day, if you don't want to have alcohol, then don't. There are plenty of fun non-alcoholic mocktails out there (with or without shaker routines) or you can just do sparkling cider and soda. People are supposed to come celebrate your day with you. If it's not your thing to be heavy drinkers, people who know you won't be surprised that you're not serving alcohol. Just as it's not your responsibility to keep an alcoholic from drinking at your bar, neither is it your obligation to have a bar at all. If people are only coming to your wedding just for free booze, do you really want them there anyway.

I'm going to say this once more for the people in the back.

ONCE YOU INVITE GUESTS ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.

Be a proper host.

It might not be "all about you" but it is still your day and should reflect your values. I've been to plenty of weddings as a guest where no alcohol was served or at most a champagne toast and nobody was talking behind the couple's back about them being poor hosts. People knew they were not big drinkers and did not automatically expect there to be a bar.

Mocktails are for 7 year olds, @SarahW.

And you don't serve food and drinks solely according to what you and FH like, because it's NOT JUST YOU AND FH ATTENDING.

Ceremony = about the couple. Reception = thank you to the guests. It should be focused on them and their comfort.

If you don't want to host properly, don't host. Elope or have a cake and punch reception in the early afternoon. It's not a difficult concept.

'Tut tut? What even is that? My venue is technically in a downtown neighborhood.'

The noise you make when you disapprove of something. It was a joke in reference to op saying she shouldn't supply alcohol cause her venue is in a neighborhood.

There is nothing *fun* about a mocktail. And there is nothing *free* about the booze at a wedding; it's paid for in time, new clothes. travel, baby sitters, dog sitters and gifts.

And if you think people won't talk? Guess again. Not to the couple, not maybe to the other people who think that an Italian soda bar rocks, but they sure will to each other.

So if reception is all about the guests, then every reception should also serve a five star seven course meal and have a live band. PUH-LEASE. Guests know their hosts and hosts know their guests and ultimately it is up to the host to decide what to serve and do and the guest to decide whether or not to attend. But saying you are a bad host because you decide, for whatever reason, not to serve alcohol, is the height of being a rude guest and I wouldn't want you to be at my wedding ceremony or reception. You either accept my hospitality as I choose to give it or you don't attend. I AM serving alcohol by the way, but if I wasn't I would expect my guests to respect that. I do agree that if you are not planning on serving alcohol, you should set that expectation early, either explicitly stated somewhere or through word of mouth.

An alcoholic alternative? I don't know...weed? It's not the fruity ingredients in a cocktail that has people lining up to order them -- it's the alcohol hidden in the fruity confection. There is no alternative to alcohol that is legal in every state, but there are plenty of guest alternatives to dry weddings...and believe me, they're used every week of every year.

"FH is really against having alcohol at the wedding"? I'm sure he is -- after all, alcohol service increases the bill, significantly, but it's part of hosting adults at a huge celebration.

If alcohol was truly the optional reception element that a minority of brides claim it is, everyone would be on board. It's expensive, but that's why you plan, save, and budget for a wedding. That position will never be the majority position...never. If you choose to ask people to attend a six hour event that is a celebration, then host them with what every server offers every restaurant patron before they ask them what apps they'd like: "What would you like to drink?" Or, save your money, be whispered about, and watch as your guests figure out where the closest bar is -- and that will happen right after dinner (lots of them won't even stick around until cake cutting because they've already endured the fake cocktail hour -- and, I'm not sorry, but mocktails? What's the point? Do you think people order those fancy drinks because they taste so great? No, they order them because they're cocktails).

The other option is to cut the guest list so you can afford to serve alcohol, or take 10 family members out to dinner and let them, much to their chagrin, purchase their own drinks.

Those who will give you the "don't feel pressured into serving alcohol" line have no choice but to fly that flag, and they'll "like" every post that extols the fantasy image of a great party that will happen without alcohol being served to guests (those amazing parties, san alcohol, are typically filled with elementary school children, not adults). They have to say that. They have to believe it...because they're doing it. If their weddings experience an exodus after cake cutting, or more likely, dinner service, they'll protest that it's the fault of the alcohol addicted guests who can't hang around for five or six hours experiencing the "love" of the couple. As far as they're concerned, it has nothing to do with the fact that most people will spend a respectable three hours at a dry event. A majority of the dry guests will adopt a "flask it", "car bar", or "it is what it is -- anyone want to leave and take this party around the corner to a great bar? approach to a dry wedding. Usually, it's a matter of choosing to invite too many guests over choosing to host fewer guests as adults at an expensive celebration.

By and large, they aren't serving it for the usual laundry list of reasons. The most insulting is that a human being who enjoys a few cocktails at a multi-hour, expensive to attend, celebration is a closeted alcoholic who cannot ride the wave of love, for six hours, that's happening at the sweetheart table, but instead, needs to be drunk. Ridiculous, and insulting. The other big excuse for hosting a dry wedding is that there are alcoholics in the family, and for some absurd, nonsensical reason, the hosts believe that soda and mocktails (nice, give the drunkard the taste, but not the effect -- but it's all about controlling the alcoholic in our midst) will confound the alcoholic and stop them in their tracks. It won't, but it will put the hosting couple at risk of being sued if that alcoholic flasks it, car bars it, leaves your reception drunk, and kills an innocent who happens to cross his/her path on the highway. You're protected if you host a bar with a licensed bartender. Then, there's the religious imperative against drinking (and the only religious group that I know of that totally agrees on the no-alcohol reception -- typically quite different than a conventional reception -- are the Latter Days Saints. Christians? They're all over the map on this one). Next, there's the "we don't drink, and we aren't paying for our guests to have free booze (yawn...a wedding is not free to attend. Even if a few guests live next door to the couple's venue, it still isn't free for them to attend the wedding, so can we please stop pretending that the couple is delivering a fully hosted dinner and an evening of dancing at the guest's front door?).

The bottom line is that the majority of your guests are responsible individuals with full-time jobs or careers. They aren't 16 year olds who broke into mom and dad's liquor cabinet, and with their friends, vomited everywhere. They're freaking adults -- treat them as such. Your wedding, a major expense for them, is seen as an expensive night out, and adults expect a night out to include alcohol. Host them properly or be the couple who had some kind of fabricated issue with alcohol (and whatever you say, via word of mouth, your excuses will never overshadow what your guests will believe and repeat: that you simply saw the cost, and decided not to absorb it).

I know your FH might not be comfortable with the idea, but he doesn't have to drink any alcohol that's served, and you can even let your bartender know to not serve him alcohol. It sucks, but alcohol is pretty standard at social events, and he'll need to get used to being able to be around other people who are drinking without falling off the wagon and going on a binge himself.

I mean whoever here thinks mocktails are "fun" seriously needs to go to Vegas, smoke some weed or attend a party for once... live a little.. Wtf is fun about juice...

Reminds me of the grandmas that say "Oh those jeans are FUN" that is about as fun as your fake drinks are. Not at all.

Till this day I can't believe how hard people fight for the no alcohol argument.. like admit you want a pretty princess day, spend minimal money, have everyone celebrate you and then spend the next day counting all your gifts.

ETA: OP, if your fiance is not comfortable with alcohol...then he doesn't have to drink it. He is an adult afterall right? I am going to assume you are not marrying a 10 year old who can't think for himself.

Guests who want to drink..will find a way to drink. Better to have a licensed bartender who is a professional take care of it then a keg in the back of someones car.

Sarah, PUH-LEASE yourself. You can't be serious with that analogy.

Ridiculous.

You wouldn't have to worry about me being the rude guest at your wedding. The minute I realized you wanted the honor of my presence and my gift (and every self-respecting guest brings a wedding gift), but didn't intend to offer me the simple, hosting basic of an adult beverage at a multi-hour, adult celebration you were hosting, I would discreetly excuse myself from your poorly hosted event after making a decision that your hospitality, as offered, was far ruder than any reaction I could possibly come up with.

I wouldn't make a scene (but I can promise you, there will be those, in the ladies' room, in the lobby, and those who gather outside the venue, who will be all over this issue. I've heard them -- can quote them -- complaining to each other about the cheap reception without alcohol, but then watched as they kissed the couple and told them how beautiful everything was), but I'd hope you'd be lady enough to forgive me for leaving (or if you were honest on your invitations, forgive me for declining via an RSVP) if I forgave you for poor hosting.

Have mocktails. I'm doing a lemonade stand for those who dont drink alcohol. I also have light and dark soda at the bar. I literally just did a mocktail bar for a couple who decided on no alcohol 2 weeks ago. It was cool. And her dad appreciated it, as he is a recovering alcoholic. People danced, laughed and were notified ahead of time so they weren't thrown off when approaching. It turned out uniquely them.

The great think about booze is if someone truly wants a mocktail, they can just order something at the open bar! But, if someone wants a cocktail at a dry wedding, they are kinda SOL.