No parents at wedding

So sorry to hear this.. It looks like you're a bit out from your wedding.. Do you think things could change between now and then ?💞

Is your wedding really September 2020? Because if so I wouldn't make such a rash decision so far before the wedding your wedding is very far away and my parents didn't really get interested until about 4 months before, relax take a breath and maybe try to work things out.

Also as for money your mother doesn't need to give you a dime you and FH decided to get married you should fund your own wedding and if people offer you can accept but I wouldn't expect money from anyone.

View Quoted Comment We didn't ask her for a dime for our wedding period!! We've paid for everything on our own.

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That's fine I'm just responding to the fact that you had to mention she didn't give money, why would you ever expect her too?

May I ask what she said or did to make you decide this?

View Quoted Comment There's a lot I didn't mention on here but I know for my insanely and the fact I know how my mom is I know she'll do whatever somehow to ruin my day because she gets off on making me cry and upsetting me.

Yea, I hope things will get better before my wedding but she's gonna be the same person by then tho. It's wishful thinking. I'm jealous of the daughters that are getting married n have their moms by their sides and spreading happiness rather than hatefulness like mine is.

View Quoted Comment I stated theres "no loss there" meaning not like she was helping in the first place.

View Quoted Comment I think she meant her mom didn't put anything toward the wedding, so there is no monetary obligation to keep her there. Also, she probably made that statement to protect herself from not-so-kind comments that could come her way.

I never took it that she expected her mom to pay and that is why she made the decision. Her lack of help just made it easier to cut ties.

View Quoted Comment She’s just saying that her mom hasn’t contributed to the wedding so there’s no reason for her to feel bad, at least on the financial front, for not wanting her there. No need to assume she was expecting money and jump on her for no real reason just saying, she sounds like she’s having a pretty difficult time already.

Amber - I hope you are able to fix things, but if you don’t, I hope you still have a wonderful wedding and don’t let anyone ruin it! Obviously none of us know what’s going on with you and your mom so I’m not gonna say “just fix it” because you know you’re situation best. I’m quite familiar with having destructive family members and sometimes it is best to leave them out if they are just going to make your day worse. Either way, I hope it all works out for you. Much love

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Lol

My fiancee and I both lost our parents years ago. I wish they could be there, but it's a different situation that you seem to be dealing with. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that right now

I understand where you are coming from and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My mother will not be attending my wedding as well. We had a falling out about 3 years ago when we found out she was having an affair on my father. Since then we have never had a good relationship and she even told me she didn't want to be a parent anymore. Don't let it get to you. Just remember all the people that will be there on your wedding day who love you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your nice reply back & your right I'll have the ppl who want to share in my happiness rather than try n destroy it.

View Quoted Comment I'm not handling it well I lost my dad n wanted my mom to be there n share in my happiness n share those moments with me but I got to do what's best for me n I want to look back n think of happy moments. I wish things were different.

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Yes you do. It's your wedding, your day, and your start to your life with your new husband. I don't blame you for wanting to try and keep the drama out of it as much as you can

I would keep your chin up and keep planning away. Those who love and support you will be standing by your side on your big day. Some people are just miserable and you need to let them be and move forward. Best of luck

I'm sorry. I, too, have a difficult relationship with my mother.

I'm about to pop her birthday and mother's day cards in the mail (they are days apart)... and then email her about a family heirloom issue that has been festering for nearly 2 years (she has my father's family heirlooms, though they have been divorced for 20 years). I... am anticipating that causing some pretty massive fallout.

Hopefully you can heal from this in your own way.

If your wedding is not till September of 2020, there is no need to make an immediate decision. I will say this only in a constructive way, if you have not seen a therapist, you might want to. You obviously carry a lot of anger, and a professional might help you deal with it.

So long story short my dad got custody of my 2 sisters and I when we were very young. My mom chose a path that was not good for her well being, or ours. She has been in and out of our lives. I am lucky if I get 1 call per year from her. I won't dis invite her, however, i'm skeptical that she may not even show up. Actually last night I kinda broke down, because right now more than ever I would love for my mom to be involved and doing this and that for the wedding... But, the day she didn't show up to my dress fitting... I kinda said to myself "this is it, this is the moment you needed and wanted your mom and she wasn't there... You have to put your big girl panties on and live with the fact that she may not be around" but, it does really suck.

Maybe she can rekindle things before your wedding. I can only imagine how tough it would be not having her there... even if you know it is for the better of your sanity. So maybe things will get better before September 2020

Good luck!

A lot of us have toxic family members (myself included). You have to do what's best for you to keep your sanity, and have the day you want. Don't feel guilty about cutting out the toxic from your life--even if it is your mother.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I totally understand what you are saying about this is who she is, so no amount of time is really going to fix it. People are who they are, and are not likely to change. So we have to accept that about them and move on. It's not easy, but hopefully you have enough other family and friends who love and support you. Lean on them for comfort, and to vent when needed. Good luck to you! Happy planning!