No One is Helping!!! :(

Here is my opinion because i have a similar situation.

last year i was a bridesmaid for my friends wedding (one of ten) and i did not lift a finger. i basically showed up that day and that was all.. i didnt no i was suppose to help or any thing like that. had i known what my role was would i have helped more? probably. had she asked me to do things would i have helped. with you a doubt.

I started planning my wedding and no one really seemed excited. granted i have two years so im just doing small things, and havent asked any one to be my bridesmaids yet. But people just dont get excited about your wedding like you do. it sucks I NO! because its all i want to talk about all hours of the day.

if you feel like you are doing every thing yourself, you probably are and need to just flat out ask for help. dont worry about how you say it. just ask. your friends and family love you and want to help just maybe dont no where to start? sorry that was really long

Aw

Ive done a lot of DIY stuff solo too, but thats the same reason I want it done how I invision it. My MOH is my sis & shes graphic designer so shes doing A LOT for me in the way of making our invitations etc. she was upset the other day that no one is helping her bc her wedding is in oct, and i told her "well i said id do such and such for you" and shes like gee thanks and rolled her eyes....so i mean I offered to do stuff for her which she doesnt feel is important i guess, but unless she comes out and asks me to help her idk what i should be doing for her....have you asked your girls specifically what you'd like them to do?

Girl dont be shy... I have, and plan to continue delegating. A bridal party, in my opinion, is there to help. Chances are, they just dont think you need or want it. Some people just flat out need to be asked to do something.

I have recently realized that there are so many more details I never thought of before I was actually faced with the real planning. They may just not think there is that much to do. My suggestion... Call a BP meeting and have a list ready of stuff you need done and say "here's what I need done, who wants what?"

They're your girls for a reason, I bet they will be 100% ok with helping you out (even if your MOH is slacking, lean on your bridesmaids).

Your MOH and BM's should not be expected to do all these things. Their only obligations are to buy a dress and show up on the day of the wedding technically. If you need help, ask your FH. Also, you could first ask your MOH and BM's to help because they could actually be willing to help you, but not know you need help. You can't just assume they'll help just like you can't really assume anything in life. Ask and I'm sure they'd be happy to help.

Thats how i felt, and still feel. My moh never seemed interested in the wedding and would ignore my texts about wedding things and our friendship seemed to start falling apart since she began dating the guy she is with now. And today she said she no longer wants to be moh and that were not friends anymore. My story is probably not the happiest..lol but you should talk to your bridesmaids because like the ladies above said they probably just dont realize you need help planning. Good luck (:

When you need assistance or have something going on just simply contact them saying "Hey I am working on X on Sunday afternoon is anyone available to help out?" Also get your FH involved, it's his wedding he should be more willing to help you than a BM IMO.

@ Justine: That made me laugh. I too wanna talk about weddings all day long! LOL Your right though I should just suck it up and ask! I really don't now how to though. On on my BM is my FSIL and we have a love hate relationship. She's super jealous of me. Reason why she is my BM is because I was in hers. :/ & ya maybe they don't know where to start I never really told them anything LOL oopes...

@Kirsten: So you know what i'm talking about. I feel like everyone I've helped has not even offered a hand in my wedding DIY. I mean I don't mind doing them cause like I said I would rather it be done my way the way I want then it coming out like who knows what and me being upset at someone. & No I havn't asked the girls to do anything.

I really don't want them too Shhhhhhh... I would just like them to offer. I know how bitchy of me :/

I totally feel you. I am doing everything myself but only b/c everyone else lives too far away. FH puts his thoughts in when I ask. I also feel like if I don't do it it wont turn out right.

Especially if they have never been a bride before!! until i did mine if some one would have said to me

"which center piece really completes my look" i would have replied with "sorry did you forget to your straight jacket today cause you sound crazy"

no its some thing i say all the time. and my straight jacket is diy and bejewled thank you very much.

but it is a lot harder when your bridesmaids havent been a bride. my bestfriend and i are planning our weddings at the same time and its amazing. i have some one (besides you girls) to talk to all the time.

Can you set up a private group on FB for your bridal party? the girls I mean - and any one else that wants to help out? Then you can post ideas and get feedback on stuff. When you need help - you can post on there something like - I think I want to go to X's on Saturday to work on centerpieces - who can help???

My MOH lives in Reno so she is not going to be much help long distance. But I am very lucky to have two BFF's from high school around that are local and want to help me - regardless if they are in the wedding or not. They have become my DOCs!

I find the group is a great place to keep myself organized, get feedback and plan!

@Lindsay E.: NO WAY!!!! Your MON and BM should def. help you! That is what they are there for! Why do you think you by them gifts at the end to thank them for their help. Not to just show up to a wedding!

As for my FH: He works 2 Jobs to support us and live the life we live. From 4am to 6pm m-f and side jobs on the weekends. He does help me a lot by paying for it!

All I really would want it the offer... is that to much to ask...

Sure hunny ill help you with the invitations tonight, maybe tomorrow can we go look at table runners?!?! o boy o boy i am excited --------> words you will never hear from your FH.

None of those things are your BM's jobs.

If you have a specific task you'd like help with, ask someone.

LOL. Ya seriously!!!! But I have to say when I do ask his opinion he tells me it and then says" it better be like that or im not giving it to you again" LOL But It doesn't bother me He's not a craft person anyways he super football!!!!!

I am sorta the same way except my BMs have "offered" to help but I have a problem saying yes because I don't want them to get the "gosh y do we have to do this" feeling and feel obligated because I asked so I get my FH involved. Hes okay with it for the most part but sometimes he does ask why isnt anyone else helping me (he doesn't know I haven't really ASKED or put it out there what I am working on) shhhh lol. But I know what you mean about not knowing how to ask because you don't wanna come off as pushy or bossy and like ppl always say its not their JOB to help and I agree. So I look at it as if they wanna help they will ask when am I working on so and so if not oh well its okay with me. Just try to stay organized to the point of if they decide to help then your ahead but if not then you aren't stressing and rushing at the last minute. It will be okay!

OKAY so what is the MOH & BM Job!!!!! Since somepeople seem to think they just show up to the wedding...

Http://www.emilypost.com/attendants

Most things they do with the exception of attire is related to the weekend of the wedding. A lot of things are optional / when possible...

I'll answer my own Question:

The bridesmaid is an integral part of any wedding, on hand to comfort, console, multitask, and party hearty at all bridal events. Whether it's your first bridesmaid gig or your 50th, here's a cheat sheet of your to-dos.

Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, "Would you like me to help you shop for bridesmaid dresses/stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?" instead of just, "What can I do?"

Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other wedding accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes before the wedding day -- that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.)

Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.

If the maid/matron of honor isn't already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and bridal showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes and

•Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of all prewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.)

•Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the ceremony officiant, or satisfy junk food cravings.

•Stand in the receiving line at the bride's request.

•Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book.

•Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner.

Read more: Bridesmaids: Bridesmaid Duties in Detail - Bridesmaids Mother of the Bride - Bridesmaids http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz1uaixIken

•Give the matron/maid of honor a break by helping to carry the bride's wedding gown train whenever necessary. Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked. Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked.

•Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to wedding gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift.

•Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress -- even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful.

•Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day

Read more: Bridesmaids: Bridesmaid Duties in Detail - Bridesmaids Mother of the Bride - Bridesmaids http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-d