No One is Helping!!! :(

Did you go over all of the above with your MOH and BM's prior to them agreeing to be in your wedding?

@ FMC: No who does that... LOL

This post seems to be going in the wrong direction. I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. Maybe I should have been more clear that I really didn't want he help just the offer.

Future Mrs. L... I ask because as you see from this post not everyone thinks the same as you. It's always good to put your expectations out there. Your bridal party aren't going to read your mind.

I told my MOH what I expected from her..but that's just me.

It may save you a lot of stress if you do talk with them.

I wouldn't be upset about it. If they agreed they would take up certain task, then yes you have a reason to be upset. Me personally, IMHO, I feel like it is FH and I who decided to get married....not MH, BM, or parents....so it is our job to make sure everything gets done. I do not expect them to do anything but pay for their dress and shoes and show up on time. We chose our wedding party becuase those are the people we really want to share that moment with, not by what they are capable of.

I think people have different opinions on what your bridesmaid should/shouldnt do. and i think what really matters is that future mrs l feels like she is going at this wedding stuff all by herself with no one to help, not even her mother! i think thats all she is trying to say here. if you live in albert ill come help you!

she just asked how to get some help because its an overwhelming process!

I agree with FMC.

When you ask them to be bridesmaids, you should have talked about your expectations. This is your wedding, not theirs. If you want them to help you with something, ask them. If you're too controlling to trust them to do it, then don't complain about it. Sorry if that seems blunt, but it's the only way I know how to say it.

Wow! They are going lightly on you with this post. I posted the exact same issues about a month ago and they let me have it! Bridesmaids aren't supposed to help with nothing but get the dress and show up the day of! That's what some of these ladies told me! Please, they aren't supposed to be on your beck and call but should volunteer or ask at least hows everything going. The crazy thing is if there is drama going on they wanna call and hear the scoop. My expectations were the same as yours but now I'm over it. I had a DIY date scheduled for the 20th. But when my MH asked what else do I need help with, I'm canceling it. The tone wasn't pleasant at all. I'll just get it done by myself or with the help of my vendors and my FH. So, I'm good now but I will always remember this.

Honestly, and this is why I made a FB group for my girls and posted the duties of being a MoH and BM, some people do not know what they are 'supposed' to do. You might need to inform them all. As my MoH said, 'Leasha, I've done all my HW and reading, I am totally ready for this." Granted, I do not expect my BP to do half of what is on the list, they still feel the need to. I honestly just want them to have fun with me and show up. I know my girls are just like me, "If I want it done right, I will do it myself." So we have moments. Just sit back and talk to them about what needs to be done and that you need help.

Hire a wedding coordinator if you want other people to do stuff for your wedding. Those lists of things your bridal party "is supposed to do" are outdated. Most women don't live at home until marriage nowadays. They don't get married as young. That means they have more stuff in their daily lives to deal with, most of those things will be higher priority than your wedding. Ask, and if they want to they will volunteer to do stuff. If they don't just call you every day about your wedding, well do you call them every day volunteering to do stuff for their kid, job, school, whatever is going on in their lives? Attention, and effort is a two way street. Looking from my BMs' side, it could get really annoying if all I seem to be interested in is my wedding.

I personally believe you should do things on your own because you will be disappointed from people who committed to helping you and then change their minds.

I am personally doing everything but then again I've never asked my bridesmaids for help. I don't expect them to do anything and if you want them to help you just need to ask they aren't just going to offer because a lot of people don't really know what a bridesmaids or MOH is supposed to do. I was a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding and the only thing I did was attend places she told us to attend and that was it. I'm my sisters MOH but I haven't really helped her with anything because she hasn't asked because I know she is taking care of everything because she likes things done a certain way. If I wanted help from my bridesmaids they would happily help because as soon as I asked them to be in the wedding the last thing they said to me was "if you need any help just let me know I'll be there" so it doesn't hurt to ask them just don't work them too hard =)

Wow--that's a really old list. I can only assume it's from the 1050's. For the most part, all they have to do is wear the dress and show up. If you want(ed) more then you need to voice your expectations. How are they suppose to know otherwise? They're not mind-readers.

And as wise-Pan said--show interest in their lives as well. Friendship goes both ways. Right now, your world is wedding wedding wedding but they have a lot on their plate besides that. Make sure you don't talk all wedding all the time--except here, which is why we love the forums.

I have done just about 95% of the planning and DIY projects on my own. 2 of my BM told me when i was planning in the beginning stages - I'm here to help! Whatever you need....well I'm here to tell you - those are just words! So expect that you are the bride that will do it all. But I've come to look at it this way - after it's all said and done, i can look back and I'm proud of what i have done. Toot my own horn!!

Good luck with everything!! It will be frustrating but count to 10 and say to yourself - this is what i have expected and i have to accept it. I have finally just learned that....sorry u r also going thru it

Honestly, the only obligation the wedding party has is to show up on the day of your wedding. Expecting them to help plan your wedding, or run errand, is not realistic.