No gift at the shower?

I sent everyone who came a thank you card just because they gave up a Saturday to come to my shower. Seems like a waste of energy to be bothered by someone showing up to support you but not bringing a gift.

I'm confused. You're upset you didn't get a gift? I don't care about presents, I would be very happy if people came to be with me during this time.

I would wait a week or so. Perhaps they sent their gift via mail, or forgot to bring it (left it at home, etc.) and were embarrassed or will get you a gift after their next paycheck.

I had someone come to my shower without a gift and it didn't bother me. I still sent her a thank you card for coming and supporting me.

I'm not really upset about that. I was already in a funk beforehand because of other issues. Anxiety kinda took over everything today, and it probably showed. So anything that wouldn't normally get me upset, got me slightly peeved today. It just threw me off a bit, because my MOH later told me that she forgot to write down that person's name and what she got me, and when I told her that I didn't get anything she was like "oh wow, really?" I felt awkward. Again, I don't know if this is normal or not. I havent been to many showers, and while I always thought it was polite to bring a gift, I don't know if it's a legit requirement or not. I just need some sort of wording to have in the thank you note I'll send to her.

Yes, showers are technically for gifts. But really? You were looking around wondering where someone's gift was at your shower? That seems a little much and a little gift grabby. If someone chooses not to bring a gift, you don't make it obvious and you certainly don't point it out. There is nothing you can do about it.

As for a thank you note, no. The etiquette is that you don't have to send one to her as long as you thanked here in person for coming (which you should have). This is the same with the wedding.

It could be in the mail - or if no gift, oh well!

"Thank you for attending my shower. I'm sure there were other ways that you could have spent your Saturday but instead you chose to spend it with me. Again, Thank you so much!"

Or similar to that. As for the gift. Like others have stated.. she could have forgot it, she could had it shipped, or maybe she was low on money. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.

I paid no attention to who did/didn't get a gift. Gift grabby much?

Like I said, I was already going through some crap before the shower even started. This normally wouldn't have bothered me, but because my anxiety was already surfacing, it did. And I hate that it bothered me. It makes me feel like an asshole.

Don't make a big deal about it. Just thank her for coming.....

It's possible this person ordered your gift online and it was being sent to your house. It's also possible she hadn't gotten around to getting your gift and intends to get you one later. I've usually seen someone who has done that mention to the guest of honor at the shower that her gift is coming or they're giving it to her later.

I've also seen instances where people have just decided not to bring a gift to a shower. Personally, I'd never show up empty handed. Even when I was invited to the third shower for the same bride, I still felt I needed to come with a small gift. My friend had helped throw this bride's church shower and this friend and I had jointly thrown the same bride a lingerie shower, but her family still invited us to the shower they threw. We both knew we had already given her two shower gifts each (plus shower costs), and that it would be okay if we didn't give her another one, but still felt we should give her something to open. So we wrapped up a copy of the video we made of the groom answering questions from her lingerie shower game where she had to try to guess what he said, along with Dr. Pepper lip gloss that we had forgotten to give her at the lingerie shower. All that being said, different people have different levels of comfort showing up to showers with or without gifts.

1. Yes, anyone who comes to your shower should bring a gift.

2. If you cared about this person enough to invite her to your shower, you should overlook this one lapse.

3. You don't need to write a thank-you note, any more than you'd write a thank-you note to someone who came to a dinner party you'd hosted. (If anything, they would write you a thank-you note.) Thank-you notes are required only if she brought a gift.

I'll just go with a simple basic thank you more then. My anxiety seems to have gotten the best of me. So I'm sorry if I've come across as a gift grabbing asshole.

Just thank her for coming! She was there to support! Sometimes people hurt for money and they struggle privately

I don't think you're being gift grabby. Maybe I'm in the minority with that opinion. I've never heard of anyone showing up to a shower without a gift, unless they paid for the shower. The others could be right that something will be shipped to you later. If that was the case, as I've done in the past, I printed a picture of the item and gave a card.

I'm with @FutureMrsC...it doesn't sound to me like you are hung up on not getting a gift. But let's be honest, I think any of us would be thrown for a loop if that happened. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong and I think it is great that you have asked how to handle it.

Eh, one of my best friends that rode with me to my shower and even stayed the night at my mom's with me didn't bring a gift. She gifted me generously later. No need to send a thank you if no gift was received.

I don't think you're being gift grabby, either! Just overlook it and send a thank you note for coming if you want to do that (but the thank you note isn't required in this situation).

Now, I wouldn't go and mention to her that you didn't get her gift. That'd be gift grabby, but it doesn't sound like that's what you intend to do

Don't get too hung up about this, and don't feel you need to send a thank you. I've received very few thank you cards for the showers and weddings we've been to when we've brought a gift. I'm guilty of going to a shower without a gift because 1) showers I've gone too are a social/drinking event, not so much gift-intense and 2) my FH probably just told me about the shower 2 hours before and there was no way a gift was going to happen. People are busy. Just politely host, and expect them to return the favor in the future.