FutureMrs.Girlinghouse
Devoted May 2010

No dad, who walks me down the aisle?

FutureMrs.Girlinghouse, on August 18, 2008 at 1:05 PM Posted in Planning 0 25
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My stepdad died a few years ago and i never met my real father. Im very close to my mom and have been thinking about her being a replacement for a dad walking me down the aisle (afterall, she has been the mom and dad for a while now..) Would that be odd? Should i walk alone? Does anyone know how this is usually handled. And also, since there wont be a father and daughter dance, would a mother daughter dance be ok or just awkward?

25 Comments

Latest activity by Tyra, on January 24, 2020 at 2:50 AM
  • Erin Goebel
    Erin Goebel ·
    • Flag

    The way I see it, is it is your wedding. Do what you think is right for you. I think it would be great and very meaningful for you mother to walk you down the asle, same as your dance with her. Good luck with everything

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  • Tammy Kudratt-Stephenson
    Tammy Kudratt-Stephenson ·
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    It's your wedding so do whatever you want! I have had a few brides who have walked down the aisle with their mums, and had a mother daughter dance, and to be honest, it worked marvelously! There will probably be a bit more tears than usual, but that will just add to the sentiment of your day.

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  • Lily
    Savvy October 2009
    Lily ·
    • Flag

    I agree with the others in that you should do whatever you want and I don't see it at all as awkward.

    One thing that I've seen done is where the brides walks alone down the aisle put puts a small picture frame from her bouquet with a picture of her loved one.

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  • Leslie Collier
    Leslie Collier ·
    • Flag

    You certainly can walk down the aisle with your mom. I have seen this done several times and it's a beautiful presentation of the bride. Traditionally the person who walks you done the aisle is the head of the family presenting you to your groom and in many households that tends to be our mothers. I would certainly encourage you to incorporate something in your wedding to honor your dad. Adding a photo into your bouquet, or placing a single rose where your dad would have been seated next to your mom, etc. Talk to your mom too since your wedding will be filled with emotions (which is very natural) so that you incorporate these loving tributes in a way that you and your mom feel are most appropriate.

    Best Wishes!

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  • Danielle  Yager
    Danielle Yager ·
    • Flag

    Absolutely, your mother can walk you down the aisle. I have seen it several times and nobody will think twice about it. As far as the mother daughter dance goes you can do that also. This is your wedding and you do what is important to you!! I hope you have a wonderful day!!

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  • Christina
    Expert July 2007
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    Anyone can walk you down the aisle. Now for the mother daughter dance, you can do that as well. But, if your only considering it cause there is usally a father daughter dance, then don't feel like there has to be one at all. It wont be weird if there is or isant one, but I would make it a more fun upbeat type of dance if you choose to.

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  • Leann Moore
    Leann Moore ·
    • Flag

    Not strange at all - it is very common. I have a bride on the 6th of Sept that is having her mom walk her down the aisle. I think its absolutely adorable! And a huge honor for your mom. As for the dance, it is up to you. Some people forego the father/daughter dance and the rest altogether and just focus on the bride & groom's first dance. Remember that nothing is set in stone!

    -Leann

    *****@*********************.***

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  • Laura
    Master May 2009
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    I have seen this all so many times. I am in a similar predicament. In the end I think you should handle it the way YOU feel best. I am choosing to walk the isle alone, (mostly cause I love being the center of attention!) But It is very appropriate to have your mother walk you if that is what means the most to you. The dance is not a big deal to skip. At first I was just going to skip over it but now I have decided to do a dance with my mom. I have seen it done and it was touching. Although instead of the mushy swaying, we are going to do an upbeat choreographed kinda fun thing. Like I said, don't worry so much about what "should" be and do more what YOU want. You will be the one with the lasting memories of the day so make them the way you want.

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  • Superstar
    Savvy August 2009
    Superstar ·
    • Flag

    I have the same situation and I thought about my mother as well. Then i have uncles, do you have a man in your family that you look up to or who is a fatherly figure? i am a traditonal kinda girl, but i also know how you feel. Walk alone or ask someone who you look up to!!

    Good Luck!

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  • Pastor Maggie Campbell
    Pastor Maggie Campbell ·
    • Flag

    Your oldest brother is next in line after a father and it goes on until you run out of brothers. Next would be your uncles on your father or step father's side. The oldest until you run out. Then it goes to your mother's side of the family for uncles.

    If you exhaust all of that, then ask your a very close male friend of the family. A man that was your father or step father's best friend..

    If you exhaust that, then ask you college professor...

    No, your is not your father. Women can never take the place of a man. And no, your mother should not walk you down the isle. She has "mother of the bride" duties that she should enjoy.

    • Reply
  • AKCanuk
    Savvy June 2008
    AKCanuk ·
    • Flag

    I think it depends on how you look at the purpose of a father walking the daughter down the isle.

    Traditionally the father is literally giving you away: no longer his responsibility but your husbands. If you feel like you have to revert to a brother or an uncle than you are comfortable and supportive of this outdated thinking. If you are, and that is what you are comfortable with, than you should have a male family member do it.

    But, I think that the isle walk is more symbolic of someone who you have a great relatinship with showing support for you pre and post marriage.

    I'd go with my mom. My mom died before I got married but if it had been my father I would, without hesitation or doubt, would have had my mom walk me down.

    • Reply
  • Tracy
    Expert April 2009
    Tracy ·
    • Flag

    I completely disagree with pastor maggie below....a woman can most definitely take the place of a man, especially when said man was never part of the person's life.

    There is nothing wrong with having your mother give you away...its not just the father that gives away the child, its both if you really think about it, and your mom has been your everything. I think it would mean the world to her. And of course you can have a mother daughter dance! Both of my parents are walking me down and i plan to have a song dedicated to my mom that we will dance to at my wedding

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  • Asim Soofi
    Asim Soofi ·
    • Flag

    Firstly, I'm so sorry your father could not be there to share in this wonderful time of yours.

    I shot a wedding where the bride was in a similar circumstance. She chose her mother to walk her down the aisle, and it was beautiful. I would definetly recommend walking with your mother. I even have her wedding featured on my website if you'd like to see some photos!

    Best wishes on whatever you decide to do. Just make sure YOU are happy about the decision!

    /asim

    http://www.asimsoofi.com

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  • TOTT Event Planning
    TOTT Event Planning ·
    • Flag

    In my many years of planning I have seen it all from Siblings (brother or sister), Mother, Grandparents, Uncles, Father-In-Law, Solo or even their own children walking the Bride down the isle. There is no right or wrong person to walk you down the isle.

    As for the father/daughter dance, I had a bride dance with her mother. The song started off slow and endearing and then it stopped and went into a fun and energetic song and the entire reception broke out with cheers and whistles as they boogied on the dancefloor. It was unexpected but very touching to see their personalities glow on the dance floor.

    Whomever you decide, I'm sure it will be perfect for YOUR WEDDING.

    Best Wishes!

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.Girlinghouse
    Devoted May 2010
    FutureMrs.Girlinghouse ·
    • Flag

    Thank you all for your input. I appreciate it a lot and because of your comments as of right now I am in favor of both my mother walking me down the aisle and having the mother daughter dance (sorry pastor maggie, i guess we see things differently). Anyways, thanks for the comments!

    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated November 2008
    Ashleigh ·
    • Flag

    My father doesn't really participate in my life, and I can't even count on him showing up at my wedding. I was going to have my brothers walk me but i can't count on them either. I was going to have my mother walk me down but she has a hard time walking and I don't want her to over exert herself. My uncle who has been there for me more than any other man in my family actually stepped up and said he would be proud to walk me down the aisle without even hesitating. I think if your mom is able to walk you down the aisle then that would be really special. Good Luck and congrats.

    • Reply
  • Brandi Thompson
    Brandi Thompson ·
    • Flag

    Not weird at all. You should ask anybody you want. Ask your mom and dance with her. It's not odd. It's all about celebrating the people you love and that love you!

    • Reply
  • Pamela  Parker
    Pamela Parker ·
    • Flag

    I think you 've made your decision about asking your mother to walk you down the aisle and I support you completely. I hate to disagree with Pastor Maggie but why would you ask a "college professor " over your mother because he is a he.

    Good luck!!!

    • Reply
  • Ebony Williams
    Ebony Williams ·
    • Flag

    I believe that if you want your mother to walk you down the aisle you should go for it, but if you have an uncle or brother maybe you can consider asking them, so that mom can sit in the first row and watch her princess enjoy one of the most memorable moments of her life.

    If you have any questions contact me at 614 975-1382

    Congrats!

    Ebony

    Essential Event Planning

    • Reply
  • mweston
    Beginner September 2011
    mweston ·
    • Flag

    I think having your mom walk you down is a great idea, she is the one who probably knows you the best and has been around the most. Why would you want a college professor who you really don't know share one of the most important days of your life with you to me that would be kind of wierd. First of all remember that it isn't the 19th century anymore and Everyone now of days would understand why you are walking with your mom.

    GOOOD Luck!

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