No bridal shower or bachelorette party happening?

I feel you! It's nice that you're aware about no one being obligated to throw those for you, and your feelings of disappointment are 100% valid! You want to feel celebrated and loved, and not having people step up and offer to throw these pre-wedding events can have you feeling hurt. I'm not sure if I'll have a bridal shower because no one has brought it up.

We're having 2 couple's showers so that's nice, but I'd love to have a bridal shower since that would be closer to our wedding date, and my mom would actually be able to attend that one. I just have to remind myself that I'm still loved and people are excited for me, even though I may not get a bridal shower like I hoped!

I hope you small bachelorette party works out, and that you get to feel celebrated!!

I am lucky enough to be one of those people whose friends are taking time off to go to Vegas for our joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend. To be honest, I think a lot of times what kind of pre-wedding parties (if any) are had, depends on peoples’ current circumstances. For example, all of the people attending our bach weekend are young couples. All of them are either engaged or recently married, and will be starting families soon. So, planning a Vegas Bach party for us was kind of like a “last hoorah” for everyone before entering parenthood. Had we gotten married two years from now, when they were all young parents, this weekend most likely would not be happening. Also, they were all fortunate enough to have not been affected financially by the pandemic. Unfortunately, that has not been the case for so many people. I suspect so many brides are not getting pre-wedding events planned for them right now because those closest to them have suffered financial hardships and are prioritizing other things this year as they attempt to get back on their feet and back to life as usual.
I know these parties are optional, and in no way affect your wedding or marriage, but that doesn’t mean it is not perfectly normal to be disappointed at their absence. You are not angry at these people or harboring resentment towards them, you are simply disappointed. Which is OK! These are once in a lifetime events, and I applaud you for recognizing that you would be disappointed if you didn’t get to experience them, so you took the reins and organized it yourself! Enjoy your bachelorette!!

Me me me!

I decided to ask my childhood best friend to be my MOH and only bridesmaid. Two other girls I would have asked to be bridesmaids couldn't come to the wedding at all, so I decided as long as my friend was there it would be enough.

My best friend and I in different states, and she doesn't really know any of my friends. I didn't want a shower at all, but I would have really enjoyed a fun bachelorette - whether just a weekend getaway with her or including a handful of my friends. I did mention it to her and we talked about going to the Kentucky Derby or doing a camping trip but always really in the "this is an idea" sense and never anything concrete at all. She never asked about who I would want to include, and when Covid happened last year everything just went out the window. I honestly don't know if she would have planned a bachelorette for me if Covid hadn't happened, but considering Covid blew up in March and our wedding was in May, and no plans had been made or even started at that point, I think its unlikely.

My husband and I ended up eloping on our original date and canceling/postponing our wedding celebration to this June. I told her the new date right away. Then she got pregnant (not planned) and after that she pretty much ceased to be involved. It didn't even register to her that she'd miss our wedding (her due date was the same week) until I pointed it out to her and all she could say was "sorry." It really sucked to lose both the wedding we planned for and then to also not have my best friend there nor really have her support anymore. I ended up not having any bridesmaids in the end, which made me feel pretty bad for my husband, because I think he downplayed his groomsmen and their role in our wedding a lot because he didn't want it to seem so one sided. I don't regret not having bridesmaids, but I do feel like I would have taken more of the lead on my own happiness and celebration if there wasn't some idea that you shouldn't throw your own events or someone else needed to have the capacity (financially and organizationally) to step up and throw it for you.