No Boy/girlfriend rule?

View Quoted Comment Yes I did reading these comments I will have some people have their SOs invited

This actually just happened for me at my sister's wedding; because I wasn't engaged or married when the invites went out, I wasn't afforded a plus one (as the sister of the bride.) It was a rather ugly, multiple-month argument (she's never had to attend a wedding solo) and probably the most insulting was her concern that "I would bring someone douchey" (Um, seriously?! That would be more embarrassing to ME than to HER.)

I eventually strong-armed my way into having one, but it took me informing her that I would be present for the ceremony and pictures, but declining the invitation to the reception.

This is not rude. You've indicated that you WILL invite significant others (SOs)if you know them and the couple has been together for a while (ie, if the couple is married, or engaged, or dating a long time and you know them as a couple). That's fine. Being invited to a wedding isn't a given. Don't feel obligated to invite people you don't know and don't have a relationship with. Enough with the ridiculous expectations! If someone doesn't want to come because their SO wasn't invited, so be it. They don't have to be there. It's not that serious. And if they hold a grudge, ask yourself, if they were really your friend to begin with. I have been to several weddings where SOs were only invited if the bride and groom knew them. You do not need to pay for strangers and you certainly do not have to pay for people you do not like.

View Quoted Comment Im doing something similar but not quite as restrictive (our engagement will span longer than 3 years)
Basically if they have been dating for 1 year or longer then they are invited together. Im having a wedding of under 25 people and i feel that with my wedding date being my FH and my 10 year dating anniversary it isnt too much to ask for my guests to have been together for 1 year especially with my small guest list.

I disagree when people say this is rude, I totally agree with you. It is not rude at all especially if you have a budget to stick to. My FH's side has a ton of cousins with boyfriends/girlfriends. To limit it I'm only inviting plus one's if they are engaged, living together or married. I think that is a fair rule.

Most of our friends are in couples in some capacity: dating, engaged, married, etc. We're inviting them as a couple because my FH and I hang out with them as a couple. The girls and I even get together when the guys are goofing on the weekends.

The only restrictions we placed are family. We both have a couple of cousins that have SO's that we've never met before. No ring, no bring.

I feel you! Every additional person is an expense. Just be mindful making your guests have a good time. If you're inviting four coworkers who already know one another, they probably don't need a date. But people who are traveling and have spouses or are in long term relationships should be allowed a date. That will give them an opportunity to make turn the trip into a vacation. If I weren't allowed a date and had to travel across the country, I would pass. It's just too expensive.

One of my good friends from across the country won't know anyone but is single, so I'm seating her next to a few other good friends I know she will get along with. I'm introducing them before the wedding (girls brunch, yay!). If you're able to introduce guests before the wedding, it's a great way to celebrate and get excited! And you may be able to get away with not giving them plus ones. Hahaha.

Another good way to gauge is, would I care if they didn't invite my spouse and I to their wedding? You probably won't care if you were invited with a bunch of your colleagues to a colleague's wedding, but might care if you're attending a friend's wedding two hours away and will only know one other person or none at all.

Congratulations!!!

If the couple hasn't been together long(let's say less than 6 months), in dont see the harm in just sending the invitation without a plus 1. If it's been 1year+, definitely send the invite.

Very rude - don’t do that.

I don't think it's rude at all...not everyone is entitled to a plus 1, especially if you're needing to save money. If they're dating over 1 year, then yes it's the right thing to do to offer a plus one, but if it's a month..two, or three, no way are you obligated to nor should people feel they are owed a plus 1. I've gone to 2 weddings of family friends and wasn't given a plus one, we were sat with the brides cousins, it was still a fun time getting to know people and our families know each other and all danced together, all had a great time!

We have groups of cousins that we're inviting the family, therefore , the 18 year old, that is currently dating someone, is absolutely not getting a plus one. She's in a family of five, that family will be invited and that's it. Another cousin has a different GF every 2 months.

The only time it would be slightly different is with co-workers or friends...but even then, you can sit them together, they don't all need plus ones. I actually asked my co-worker if she wanted a plus 1 since she won't know anyone, but she said no absolutely not lol

Good luck!!

I am weighing in as a MOB. I like the idea of inviting a SO if they were dating the family member/friend at the time of the bride's and groom's engagement, especially since a lot of couples get engaged at least a year before their wedding. That makes things very clear.

However, I have read a number of comments stating that if a family member's/friend's SO or even any date at all is not invited, then the couple's family member/friend would not attend herself/himself. I am having trouble understanding this. I know that the guest would likely enjoy herself/himself more with having the SO/date there also. But isn't attending a wedding and/or reception something you do for the couple who invited you--not for your own pleasure? If both are an outcome, then the better for you, but to me, your staying home because your SO/date didn't get invited seems rude to the marrying couple. If you have been through the wedding/reception planning process yourself, you know how hard you tried to make everyone happy while still sticking to your budget.

I agree Mumsie, and the people who kvetch and moan over their flavor of the month not being invited may find they have hurt relations with the people who over time are the people who are REALLY their nearest and dearest.

I think it’s your wedding. I am doing something similar. Most of my guests are allowed a plus one. But I wanted to invite some of the girls in my office. If I wanted to invite one I felt I needed to invite all. Well there are around 13 of them. If they all brought plus ones that would be 26 people. I am not going to invite that many extra people that I don’t know. Not when that would cost hundreds more. So I asked them if they could not bring a plus one and come as a group. And they were really understanding about keeping costs down and totally agreed. One of them said “honey do you try and please everyone you will go insane. Do what is best for you.” Ever since that’s the rule of thumb I have been following!