No Boy/girlfriend rule?

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I wish we still had the ability to like posts because this is great.

This is how I look at this issue:

If I'm asking someone to spend their time and money to attend my totally unnecessary and self indulgent party that I'm throwing to celebrate myself and my life choice, then as the host it's my responsibility to do everything possible to make sure they are comfortable and able to enjoy the event. Inviting significant others is something extremely important to a person's enjoyment, and part of what I consider to be among the minimum standards of hosting. If I don't want to invite the person's significant other, then I shouldn't be inviting the person at all.

I personally would never attend a wedding if my significant other wasn't invited. My fiance and I went to three weddings before we got engaged, all three invited both of us regardless if they met us or not.

Agree with many on here, obviously it’s your wedding and can do what you want! If someone isn’t married or in a relationship (that we’re aware of) they’re getting a plus 1. So everyone can either bring their s/o or their date or even a friend! Even grandma gets a plus one since her husband passed away years ago. I would never attend an event like that by myself, just me though.

FH and I have been together 7 years. By the time we get married this June, it will have been 7.5 years. We knew we wanted to get married for a while, but wanted to wait for the right time (done with college/landing a good job, him getting out of the military/transitioning to civilian life, making sure we had the finances ready, etc.).

We received an invitation to a wedding about a year ago. The groom knew my FH from college, but hadn't met me. They had been together less time than us. However, they decided that since we weren't engaged/married, our relationship wasn't as serious, and I wasn't invited. We declined the invite.

I know you are trying to save money, but a lot of people would rather not go to a wedding at all, than have their SO not invited. Especially if I had to travel, I would not attend a wedding without my FH. If you really want a certain guest there, their SO should be included, otherwise they may not attend. I know it's $75, but is it worth risking certain people declining over this? Try to make room in your budget for it.

Seeing replies that it is rude to not invite someone’s bf or gf... that’s hilarious.

We’re not having any total strangers at our wedding.

This thread helped me see the light 😖 i just texted my FH that his old coworkers SO’s are invited. Its just one girl.

Thank you all.

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Ha! Love this. Your idea of a wedding sounds so much like ours Brittany. Drinking and dancing to the last second

Thank you all for replying. I agree with the points you all make. I never saw it the way you all say and honestly I’m willing to let some invite their Significant others

I think it's very rude, because if one will come without your partner , it can be a shame that he/she him/sheself, though to admit it will not. If it's so bad with the budget then talk to those you want to invite and ask them if they can pay for their partner

Yes, I plan to do a rule similar. My rule is no dates. The only single people invited are my grooms’s brothers who are not in a relationship. I don’t want them to bring a random girl they met at a bar to my wedding and pay for her to eat.

The wedding is for you; the reception is a party you give to thank your guests for celebrating your wedding with you. That is, the reception is for the pleasure of the guests.

Significant others are invited (by name). You don't decide if two people are a couple; they do. And, if you don't know if they see themselves as a couple, ask one of them. How can you ask a friend to honor your relationship if you're insulting theirs?

Plus-ones are entirely different; they are guests' dates. It is nice to offer single guests plus-ones, but it isn't necessary.

Not inviting significant others, on the other hand, is enormously rude--relationship-ending, in some cases.

If they are an established couple by the time invitations are addressed and sent, they need to both be invited as one social unit. Have both, whether you know bf or gf or not , same as inviting married couples, whether you know the spouse or not. People who date lots of folks, not committed to one, and those not together before you address invitations at 10-12 weeks out, do not need to have a date or such a new relationship that it was not in existence when sending out invitations. I and most people I know would turn down an invitation in 10 seconds if when I had a steady relationship ( or now, married), SO was not invited. My husband or I may decline a wedding, and one who knows people best go single, if we cannot attend as a couple. And I went to lots of weddings alone when in long term relationships before. Conflict with work, each had different weddings, funeral, graduation to go to. But if not given the chance, because the hosts have no respect whatsoever for my long term relationships, why would I go to celebrate theirs? You do not need to issue a plus one. Get the name if the SO, and issue that invitation by name. That way if SO cannot attend, the guest you primarily wanted can't just bring anybody as a plus one. The committed relationship SO, or come alone, if budget and wedding size are an issue. Sometimes you have to cut desired guests, in order to invite couples. But if someone getting married does not respect other couples committed relationships, they can expect to receive the cold shoulder and a pile of declines.

My coworker did this. Her wedding ended up being plenty small as most people invited without their so declined.

I see the OP has resolved her dilemma, and only had to add 1 extra person! But I'll leave what I was going to post anyway.

There are different rules you could follow, all of which will probably exclude someone. Married or engaged is non-negotiable. After that, it gets tricky. It can be hard with partners you haven't met, especially. But setting different rules for each couple will lead to hurt feelings.

I would look at your guest list and see how many dating or unmarried couples you have, then look at other factors: how many of these couples live together? How many have we met? How many have been together a long time (say, 6 months to a year or more)? How many won't know anyone else at the wedding? How badly do we want these friends to come? Whatever you do, I encourage you to apply your rule evenly, or else people will wonder why some people got a date but they didn't.

View Quoted Comment Some people are engaged for 3 years, or 1 year. To to ignore a committed relationship that has not existed since before you got engaged may be reasonable with a 4 month engagement. It means, anyone as of the time you are addressing invited. But ignoring committed relationships for longer than that, is rude, and people will see no reason to attend the wedding of people rude to them.

This is incredibly rude Couples should be invited doesn't matter how long they have been together

I was pretty upset when I had a friend invite me to their wedding, but didn't invite my, at the time, boyfriend who I lived with and she had met. I think if they are in commited relationships you should definitely invite them.

Did you end up making a final decision, Veronica?

My mother-in-law felt the same way but the reality is your are being cheap and reducing the chances those individuals will come. If they do come they will likely be unhappy or negative which no one wants. I would make cuts by narrowing the list so everyone can have some or reduce your budget somewhere else. Yes you need to be happy first of all but secondly you need your guest happy and somewhat comfortable.

I’m with you on this. I like what someone said about if they were together when you got engaged. My bridesmaids are all either married or engaged, except for my future SIL. His groomsmen are all single, including my brother, with the exception of one who is in a long term relationship and just announced they’re expecting. I like the term ‘no ring no bring’ but basically if you’ve only known them for a short time— like my future SIL who wants to just bring a casual date — then you’re SOL.