No Boy/girlfriend rule?

This is extremely rude, couples should be invited together regardless how long they’ve been together. If you want your guest list to be smaller make it with the possibility that everyone could get in a relationship by the time of your wedding and stop when you reach the number that you can afford. Asking people to celebrate your relationship while not recognizing theirs is rude.

I feel your pain OP, because I have 18yo cousins who have been dating their partners for a few weeks and they will be invited. My general rule of thumb is is the significant other isn't a dangerous criminal or a racist, they are invited. I just think it isn't nice at all to invite half of a couple.

It sounds like you're pretty set. I personally think it's rude. My husband and I have been together 12 years before getting married. Some people who are dating have children together, live together, are committed to each other but simply don't have a marriage certificate. I think it's cruel to just, "not care."

We invited folks who we know were dating someone. A few friends asked when their invitation came, can we bring our bf. The answer was yes. There was no drama at our wedding.

My husband to be an I dated for 7 years before getting married so I would be upset if I wasn't invited with him just because we couldnt afford to make it official and continued dating. It kind goes without saying the partner comes to. You need to account for that in your guest list or be prepared to have some upset responses.

The rule I set was, if they were dating when we got engaged then their s/o is invited. Many of my FH's friends have s/o that I have never met! But personally I would be kind of annoyed if my FH got invited to a wedding and I didn't so I am inviting them if they were already dating when my FH and I got engaged.

There are so many variations on what’s considered “acceptable” here, there’s only one thing for sure: you’re bound to offend someone. Generally, if they’re married or engaged, they’re definitely invited. Dating is the gray area, but I don’t think it’s terrible to handle it as you are, inviting the “dates” you actually have some semblance of a relationship with. Just don’t be angry if the guest half of those couples chooses to decline the invitation!

The rule we went with was if they were dating when we got engaged, then the SO is invited to the wedding (which means they will have been together approximately a year at the time we are getting married). One of my BMs just got into a relationship and she even said don’t invite her guy, she knew our rule and was totally chille about it! We also are having a really personalized wedding, and 75% of our guest list all knows each other, so it’s not like anyone will be lonely. Two of our guests have been assigned plus ones, and that’s becausr they won’t really know anyone else there, so we decided to give them a buddy. I know it’s not “kosher”, but we handpicked our guest list pretty deliberately and we’re also selective about who did and didn’t get plus ones, mostly following that first rule we set of if they were together when we got engaged then they were invited.

Incredibly rude. I have plenty of friends and family who don't have a "friendly relationship" with my FW, or haven't met her at all yet. If she wasn't invited to their wedding, I wouldn't attend either and would probably cut off that friendship because of their blatant disrespect.

So I thankfully got invited to my FH friends wedding as his plus one because I had a very small relationship with the Bride and Groom. But one of our close friends did not get a plus one and they were dating for 8 years. We sat next to them and it was really upsetting to see that I was invited, and her now FH was not. I understand the costs, but it left some people in a bad mood once they saw I was there.

I also got invited to a wedding without my FH, and I am not attending for that reason. Its not practical for me to drive, drink, and carry on, without him.

View Quoted Comment I actually like your way.. might just do that

There's something different to consider here, in addition to what everyone else is saying regarding ettiquette.

My wedding is costing a very pretty penny. We are having a full open bar, an awesome DJ until midnight, etc. I want our guests to have the time of their lives at our wedding...and I don't think everyone would really enjoy themselves if they had to leave their boyfriend or girlfriend at home. I want people to dance and drink until the last minute. I don't want anyone feeling upset that they have to sit down for slow dances. Weddings are about celebrating love, and if our guests have someone, I want them to be able to enjoy the experience completely. For a lot of people, their significant other is a huge source of their happiness, and I think their enjoyment of my wedding hinges on the inclusion of their significant other, to a certain extent at least. Just something to consider.

I know if I was invited to a wedding without my FH, I'd be at most a wallflower. I am very introverted, but FH knows how to get me up dancing and all of that. And I'd probably leave early, if I even went.

So rude, so very very rude.

You are seriously running the risk of offending your loved ones. Your plan will likely damage your relationships. If you don't care about that, just don't invite those people in the first place. You'll have space then to invite the significant others of the people you do care about.

This is why you should create your guest list first, come up with a budget, then find a venue that works within that budget to accommodate everyone. It’s rude to work backwards and tell people that if they aren’t married, their SO can’t attend. I have two close friends who really won’t know anyone else at the wedding, so I have each of them a plus one so they can share the day with someone they know, be comfortable, and enjoy the evening. There’s a few of FH’s work friends that I’ve never even met, and they (plus their SO) are invited. This is a formality that you eat the cost on to ensure your guests have a good time. I was with FH for 4 years before he proposed, and I wouldn’t have attended an event if he wasn’t invited. Common courtesy.

Well, I was a girlfriend invited to my FSIL wedding and we felt so blessed about it. I'm having a tiny wedding and I totally feel you, I had to make some tough decisions as well.

For example, one of my brothers had a kid with a woman, they don't live together and she has been rude to me before. In the first stages of my wedding planning she used to make comments like "I don't know why you're planning your wedding so soon, you might break up by then" . So I decided to invite her kid and not her, I don't want any negative vibes.

Like 5 months after I invited another one of my brothers, he introduced to me to his new girlfriend whom is living with him. But I had already paid for food and everything. I'm not inviting her either. My MOH has a girlfriend, but she doesn't feel comfortable introducing her to my family, so I guess no girlfriends or boyfriends are coming to my wedding either.

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I second this; this is how we are handling it.

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I understand that weddings are expensive, trust me...so expensive. But I gotta say, I agree with this. How would you feel if you were invited to a wedding, and your gf/bf wasn't? If it were me, I wouldn't go to the wedding.

To be honest, if I was invited to a wedding and couldn't bring my SO (when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend) I wouldn't go to the wedding. What fun is it if you can't celebrate someone's love with your significant other? Last year I attended a wedding and I only knew the bride/groom. My FH was recovering from an accident. I had RSVP'd yes though and I really did want to go. Honestly, the wedding would have been so much more fun if he was there with me. It actually felt quite awkward.

My rule for significant others is if they've been in a relationship since we've been engaged and also during the time we've sent out the STD's...they will be invited. Otherwise, they will just get a single invitation. For those that I feel don't know any of the other guests I'm giving them a +1.

If my long term boyfriend (now fiancé) wasn't invited to your wedding, I simply wouldn't go. That might help keep your guest list small. You can do things the way you want, but people will also respond how they want.

We gave a plus one to all single adult guests, and anyone that had been in a relationship for any amount of time was invited as a couple (both names listed on the invitation). I wouldn't have gone to a wedding where my H wasn't invited back when we were dating. It's rude.

That isn't going to go well. Weddings are romantic events that people want to attend with their significant other. Besides some people choose to not get married and remain boyfriend/girlfriend forever. If you do this, you're likely to have a lot of declines, make a lot of people mad at you and receive tons of phone calls complaining which will cause you A LOT of stress.

You have a while before your wedding, I'd strongly consider trying to save extra money towards your wedding and redo the guest list and including serious relationships.

As Cynthia mentioned, this is why it is very important to create your guest list FIRST then pick a venue where you can afford the guests you are inviting.