No bachelorette party :( (VENT)

Listen to your FH.

I get why you're upset. I would be as well. These are supposed to be your closest friends/relatives and for them to cancel after confirming, twice, because they've found something better/else to do is rude. I would like to think my closest friends think more of me than to bail like that.

Is it possible that they're planning a surprise bach party for you? You were involved in planning the getaway. Maybe they want to plan something for you, without your help.

Can you still have the beach house but go with a bunch of friends instead? My bachelorette party consisted of 1 BM and 10 friends. It doesn't have to be all bridal party people.

What's so bad about being part of the planning? My friend who threw my party involved me in every aspect. Why is that a big deal?

@Erin Wood l think is more on the not throwing for yourself. Which I wasn't, I was just part of it (i mean why would you include the bride who has a millions things to do, to see if she can even do it) *sarcasm*

on the other point, i would do that, but i actually only have the few close friends, so don't have the people for it.

Yeah I don't believe in throwing your own but if the host wants you to make all the decisions I don't see it as an issue. I'm sorry you feel disappointed. Maybe just talk to your BM's and tell them to keep it simple so everyone can come? I don't know what else to tell you.

Honestly if they've cancelled so much, I wouldn't go out of my way to plan something. I think it's extremely rude to back out of plans unless of an emergency or illness. I'm in the unpopular opinion that's it's okay to be upset about especially because you said two of them are booking other trips! I get 100% things come but up but they be accountable for their actions. If this was not a wedding orientated board and someone posted about a girls trip and everyone backed out, I don't think you'd get the harsh messages.

My bachelorette was very simple. My best friend had a cute get together at her house where she ordered some of my favorite food and drinks. She decorated a space for me and invited a few friends. it was 9 of us. We ate, drank, talked during the day, then went to dinner and to a couple of laid back clubs. In all honesty, my favorite part was the house get together...the clubs were my least favorite lol...but it was super simple. I didn't want a bridal shower and have zero time closer to the wedding so that's why we just did a get together a month in advance.

@GymRat - girl I am LOVING that post! PREACH!

@OP - do you know what I did for a bachelorette party? My sister and mom bought me food and we watched movies on the couch. My bridesmaids have lives and families and bills. I certainly did not get mad that nobody threw me a party and I certainly didn't plan one myself. As far as them agreeing and then backing out: maybe they had the money and then something came up. Maybe they had unexpected bills. Those things happen. Maybe they knew you would get upset if they told you so they put it off to last minute to see if something would change or they were afraid to disappoint you. Look at it from their point of view.

The booking other trips thing and then canceling mine after the fact would bother me too. Like I said in my previous post, I know brides aren't entitled to parties but dang, some of the things I've read on WW about the actions of so-called friends - I couldn't imagine doing to my own friends. I think most brides are enjoying people being happy for them and wanting to celebrate a joyous occasion together. I know I am. And I think it's totally natural to want that.

Bachelorette parties never used to be weekend getaways. Just do a night out. I hate that people have come to expect a trip for their bachelor/ bachelorette party. I don't want to spend my money on a trip for these types of events.

@Future Mrs. L if you read my previous comments i confirmed twice with them and that the reason they cancelled 2 months before its because they planned other trips.

@Miami2NorthernVA if you don't want to go, awesome, don't start planning one and bail two months before.

I am not having a shower, no engagement party or rehearsal dinner. (they are not a custom in my culture) this was literally the only wedding plan I had with my bridal party. but either way, i got great advice from the other ladies which I actually plan on doing. thanks

@HANNAH I agree. I think if i called it a getaway, nobody would have been so pissy.

I didn't want a destination bach because I thought it was too much and I hate to be the center of attention. My MOH was insistent on planning one anyway. It turns out that several people couldn't make it so I suggested something in the closest city that would allow the most people to attend and be cost effective. It's really not a big deal. I'm doing one night out with my closet (available) girl friends.

IMO, destination bachs are asking A LOT.

Well, the problem lies with expectations here. Unfortunately, bachelorette parties have become very unrealistic events. It's a lot to ask of your friends to spend days on end celebrating you. It's not your fault, Monica. It's what we see on TV and in movies. Also Pinterest. If an evening of fun and hijinks was planned in your city, I'm sure you wouldn't be seeing this pushback. Take the advice you read for what's it worth, but the plans were obviously too much for people to actually do. There's nothing wrong with your friends and nothing wrong with you.

@vicki it's not a destination bach, I live in PR. Tiny island the farthest you can drive here is 3 hours, lol. (it was not that far, more like 45 minutes)

@Jacks I live in PR, in the second most populated county, as all my friends do. no big cities here, beach is actually the cheapest thing you can do, but either way I already stated I would do a low key girls night.

Your FH is right. Oh well. Move on. It literally isn't a big deal. You don't have to have one to be a bride. Sheesh.

Ok, well believe the evidence. Clearly a multi-day BP was too much for your nearest and dearest. You have a choice, you can let this fester and be hurt or/ you can let it go and have faith that they're doing their best. It's up to you really how you react to it.

Also I might look a bitch by not validating your position, but what I'm trying to do is to get you to reframe your expectations. Then you don't feel bad, then you don't make others feel bad, then you get to go on enjoying this amazing time in your life.

@Jacks Not debating what I know and have explained here, just stating the reality. either way I already stated what my plan is. I am actually taking the advice handed out by most ladies here and treating them to a low key ladies night. From the ones that were helpful at least. (by the way I don't think you are being a bitch at all, i just been repeating the same thing for a while now, so my tone may be off by now )