No bachelorette party :( (VENT)

If it were really about "time with your friends" and not about getting married and going to the beach, you would be planning a low key low cost night out with them without a title rather than complaining that you're not getting a bachelorette party but your FH is getting a bachelor party.

I feel you. My biggest (and really only) pet peeve is cancelled plans. It really makes me frustrated for some reason. If there was no party at all, that's one thing. But planning one then cancelling it would make me really really mad/upset. I'm sorry about that! Maybe you can plan a night out of partying with your FH. Sometimes it's good to get out of the house/romantic date scene and enjoy being young with your fiance.

So then go to a bar this weekend if you want to spend time with your friends.

Why were you planning it?

Maybe super cheap to you is not to them.

How they spend their money is none of your business.

Why not ask everyone over for pizza and beer to relax one evening--your treat?

@Tallah first, as anybody knows about the planning, the bridal party is supposed to do it (even though I don't mind helping them with it). second, going away to the beach is something very common and cheap here, way more than a low key night going out (I live in PR). both of the BM that are complaining about the money, started planning other trips after okeying the beach thing, which is why they complained. either way it was cancelled, but no effort into planning a night out has happened, after bailing. third, I;m really happy my FH is getting a bachelor, just sad he can't see things from my side.

@Nonna we where planning together really. both that complained are better of than me, but either way, if they did not want to do it, they could have said it from the beginning, not bailing 2 months before.

Nope, sorry, they aren't "supposed" to do anything but show up, mostly sober, in the right dress.

Why don't you pay for the whole thing and invite them along if it's so cheap?

@FutureMrsR thanks for the advice, It really is a good idea

All you should have been involved in was dates you were available. If it is really about hanging with your girls why not have a wine and Netflix night with some yummy food and good conversation? Even if they started planning other trip it is none of your business really as bummed as you are that you don't get the weekend you wanted your fh is totally right here just move on.

@ELK i said supposed, meaning if there is one, it's the bridal party who are supposed to do it. part of the etiquette. also, they had okayed it before cancelling. If they had said no, from the get go, I would not be upset, but they cancelled, after confirming twice.

AGAIN, why can't you plan a low key get together on your dime if all you want is some time to relax with your friends before the wedding?

I get that it's annoying that they cancelled, but there's really no use in crying over spilled milk.

@Monica first, the bridal party's only job is to show up to the wedding in a dress. They are not "supposed" to do anything else. If they decide to throw you a Bachelorette party that's all to the good. But if they don't and you're complaining about it, you're in the wrong.

Second, you don't get to judge other people's finances and trip decisions. You just don't. You don't know why their other decisions took priority over yours period.

Third, I wasn't implying you should plan your own bachelorette. I was telling you that if you really cared about spending time with your friends you would plan something with them that wouldn't involve money. In my group that means tabletop games.

I had my bachelorette on the beach in PR. Grab a small cooler and get people together for a few hours. Most beaches have food vendors by the water or across the street. No one is required to spend a night anywhere. You have a few more weeks to make it happen.

@Gymrat as I said, they cancelled after confirming twice. Would you be happy with that? second when I said SUPPOSED, I meant as in planning it, if ithey did. and I would be super happy with a quick day at the beach, but nothing has been planned. I am really just sad that it won't happen.

Sorry, I get to decide how I spend my money, not a friend. Plan a night out to dinner or a bar with your friends and leave it at that. Don't call it a bachelorette party because that title carries the expectation that it is going to cost a lot of money.

No, you were planning it and then they decided they didn't want to go.

Probably because you were telling them what to do and how to spend money on you.

Okay Monica. You had a moment to be sad. Now pick your lower lip from off the floor, and focus on the fact that in almost a month you are going to be a MARRIED woman.

Yes, it's unfortunate they cancelled on you, and I agree it is annoying. But they said money was an issue, so LET IT GO. You can't change what happened, but you can change what you do from this point forward. So my suggestion still stands. Go to the beach. Shoot - I live in NYC with dirty water, I'd KILL to be on the shores of PR right now!

So they were "supposed" to plan it, but you planned it instead (planning your own bachelorette ) and then got pissed when two girls said it was too much for them even though they were using their own money and making financial decisions you didn't approve of...

Gonna have to agree with GymRat on this one.

LOL @Kate!

And I have to agree with Tallah, and ELK.