No bachelorette party :( (VENT)

Kate. I love the paint class idea!

OP. I'm sorry they cancelled after confirming twice.

I have no bridal party, and a few close friends want to get together to have a celebration... so I'm thinking a paint and sip get together.

The last one I went to was wonderful. The instructor there said I was really good at wine!

JK

Hope it all turns out for you.

@Kate @GymRat would it be super tacky to plan it myself? I know I could plan it and provide the food and drinks, and then go to my house and maybe have a game night. but I am a little afraid that they would cancel again.

Why are you friends w/ people who bail on you constantly?

Monica, sure you can, just don't call it a bachelorette.

I'm sorry Monica, that's a bummer! Broken plans are the worst and this is an unpopular opinion here, but I'd be pissed too if they backed out of my bachelorette party but planned other trips instead.

Sorry this happened to you, I hope you get a chance to get together with all of them and relax a little before the wedding.

It does suck, and it's disappointing but unfortunately there isn't much you can do but hope someone plans something. I'm sorry to hear that, that is really disappointing

OP, I understand why you are upset. I get that brides aren't entitled to a bachelorette party, but it's still really nice to have a group of friends that is willing to throw one for you. Flaking in general is annoying/rude, and it sucks a little more that it was done to you for your Bach party. I think you're in a little bit of a bind. Do your friends flake frequently? If not, and you want to spend time with them, I'd say schedule a low-budget beach day or outing. If you're over trying to schedule any kind of outing, honestly I'd probably just treat myself to a spa day and try to forget about it

@Laura thanks, I was beginning to think I was a super asshole for being sad about it.

@Kate @Unawarepandabear @AndyJ @Private_User832 Thanks for the input. I guess is more me being emotional about the whole thing. But I think I will do the low key beach day, with a game night and treat them. I really love my friends and want to spend time with them.

I agree with what Unaware said.

I mean, yea, it sucks when plans get cancelled. I know I would be really bummed if I didn't have a bach party, especially if everyone said they were down to go twice and then bailed. As PPs have said, you can still chill with your BMs and have a good time.

@Unaware hit the nail on the head - take her advice.

I'm sorry you're upset, it really gets on my nerves when plans get cancelled too. But I also have to agree with Tallah. Doesn't seem like it's about spending time with your friends at all - you can do that anytime without having to rent a house on the beach.

I'm not getting a bachelorette party either because no one in my BP had the time or extra money to plan one. We still are having a girls night together the night before the wedding at an AirBnb (I paid for it), so we can still have that bonding time.

I'm going to quote Laura verbatim, "I'm sorry Monica, that's a bummer! Broken plans are the worst and this is an unpopular opinion here, but I'd be pissed too if they backed out of my bachelorette party but planned other trips instead." I'd be upset too.

There's been a few posts recently about brides not getting bachelorettes and showers and while I completely agree, you cannot ask someone to host a shower/bachelorette for you and you cannot tell people how to spend their money, I'd still be crushed. Not for the fact that I'm missing out on gifts or whatever (I'm moving so I didn't even want a shower) but just for support and solidarity and hanging out with all my friends and family before the wedding. I personally have offered to pay my way for my bachelorette in regards to everything.

I think it's crappy they confirmed twice and then bailed on you. I personally would feel awkward inviting the same group of people who cancelled on me to plan other trips to an event that I'm now hosting. I wouldn't want them to feel like they have to come just because I'm hosting and I personally wouldn't want to feel like "wow, they're only coming because I'm hosting." I understand you can't tell people how to spend their money and I'm not saying I would be mad at my friends for picking their own trips over me but it would still be a crappy feeling to have.

I think it's nice that you're open to hosting a simple beach day for all the girls. It sounds nice, fun, affordable and a great way to hang out with the girls before your wedding. Sounds like you're making the best out of the situation which is great

The issue here is "WE". You should not have been part of any bachelorette party planning.

That being said, its okay to feel disappointed. Why not suggest a local girls night out? Or even a wine and movie night at your place, maybe the weekend your FH is away for his bachelor party? There is a lot of middle ground between weekend away at the beach and no party at all.

@SSJKarigan @GymRat I agree with @Unaware as well. I really needed an outside perspective and it really helped. I will take the advice and ask them if they would like a low key beach day, with expenses paid and see when they are available.

@Sarah thank you. Your comment express my feelings even better than my post. I really just want to spend time with them. It's good to hear empathetic comments as well.

There's a lot of agreeance here.

I think some pps focusing on the "supposed to" part missed your point, op. I'd be bummed too, especially since they confirmed twice and then planned other trips for the same time.

Seems like you got some great advice for hosting your own get together above. Just wanted to comment for solidarity that yes, I'd be sad too!! It happens and brides aren't entitled to these things but that doesn't mean you can't have a human response to it or a desire for it.

I understand how you feel cause I hate when people cancel on something as simple as dinner and a movie. It's disappointing but you'll have plenty of time to hang out with friends even after you're married. Focus on the positive that your wedding is around the corner