No Alcohol at the Reception

PS; to all the posters who say "it's sad that people need alcohol to have fun" or "if those people leave early then they don't matter"....

You are not helping the OP. She already said she's be HEART BROKEN if people leave early. Give advice on how her guests can stay longer, not "they don't matter if they leave early and it's on them".

As for your parents, you speak to them prior about their behaviour that day and if they refuse to act cordial, they don't get invited. You seat them as far away as possible from each other find a way for them to not be near each other. They should end up avoiding each other anyways if they dislike each other that much. Those who respect themselves tend to avoid confrontation and embarrassment in public.

I went to a dry wedding once...drank a bottle of wine in the parking lot. People will find ways to drink. Do you want to be in control of their consumption or not? Beer and wine are pretty affordable and won't get people shithoused.

We gave her advice. We told her to have alcohol. Whether she takes that advice or trusts the vast minority that say dry weddins are just as much fun is up to her, but As VC pointed out, this forum is a pretty good cross section of geography, attitude and budget.

In the Dallas area you actually do have to pay police officers to be there for the entire reception to have any type of bar. It's less the money and more the idea of police presence at a happy event that was off putting to us. We were going to just do a champagne toast and lots of non alcoholic options because that doesn't require police.

After reading this thread I'm really worried now. We want our guests to have fun and stay to celebrate with us. We are genuinely upset and frantically looking into the total cost to provide alcohol now and the officers.

I recently sold my car to have an emergency medical fund but maybe I need to just shell that out for alcohol for our friends and family.

I have anxiety and it's through the roof about this.

@christa my venue requires a police detail at the wedding per the town's bylaws. I'm not worried about it. I'm having an open bar and if any guests get drunk, the bartender will cut them off. It's not like the policeman or woman is going to be walking around sniffing people's drinks lol. It's just for safety. FH and I are excited! We cant wait to go outside and bring him or her a slice of cake!!

Try beer and wine or at least a champagne cocktail of come kind

I'm only serving beer and wine at my reception but I also have the bartender limiting how many drinks per person an hour. (Bartenders idea) Granted I have about 60 adults for the wedding guests. You could communicate with the bartender your concerns.

Oh boy, I'm going to get the popcorn.

My DH won't get up and dance until he has had a couple beers. So if you aren't hosting any alcohol at all we would leave. Why would we sit there bored outta our minds?

Having said that I don't know a single person who would have a dry wedding. EVER.

There's nothing inherently "wrong" with a dry wedding, but I would manage your expectations. If it's very common in your circle for there to be alcohol at weddings, then peopole will likely be disappointed that there's not any at yours.

I've attended a few dry weddings (due to religious reasons) and they were done very well. The food was excellent, everything was beautiful. However, people didn't stay all night and there wasn't a party atmosphere (which the couples didn't expect anyway). As long as you know going into it that people will likely stay for dinner, and then maybe linger for an hour after, you should be fine. Also, I don't know if I would bother spending money on a DJ. My one friend just had classical music playing in the background - no dance floor. It was very similar to a fancy rehearsal dinner, minus the booze of course

Love how everyone having/advocating for dry/cash weddings just calls the entire world alcoholics..

Pretty sure you all drank at other people's open bar weddings and didn't think you are an alcoholic then

Yes people know how to have fun without alcohol.. at dinners, movies, parks, beaches etc etc etc but this is a celebration that involves hours of dancing and socializing... sorry folks last time I danced in a room full of people with no drinks was grade 8 semi formal.. and even then some kids snuck in beer

This is an adult event.. host it properly for adults.

If you don't want to.. then at least be honest and say you are cheap and want that money for yourselves.. stop blaming AA, religion, family drama and whatever else.

@Elizabeth Why is your bartender limiting drinks? That's so odd.

OP yeah people might leave early, but at least you'd have an idea of who values you more than their drinking habit!

And OP never came back. Noticing that her wedding is next month, I hope she's off scrambling to host her reception properly with alcohol or at least beer and wine.

Weddings are adult celebrations and as such adult beverages are expected and this has been the norm for many, many years. I've been to lots of weddings cuz I'm well past 35ish so all of my friends and family are married--some more past once. Almost every single dry wedding will end early, sorry that's just the truth. The one or two people who said they went to a dry wedding and danced all night with their friends, well, I'd gather that they're quite young. If you're new to drinking it's still possible to have (some) fun without it. I'm sure you all had loads of fun hanging out together at 19. The rest of us--including your older family and friends--well, we've all been out to adult celebrations and settings for many years and we like to have a glass or two with dinner or before hitting the dancing floor. None of us "need" it but, hell, we got dressed up, got a sitter, drove many miles, got a hotel, and got you, the happy couple, a lovey expensive gift or card....we'd like to have a drink to celebrate you at your wedding. Host probably. Or you might be too young to do this.

Honestly, I'd elope and say fuck you to all of them for even putting that BS on you

I went to a dry wedding, it was my soon to be sister -in -laws wedding, so I had to go! The wedding was dry for religious reasons. They weren't even 21 years of age! It was still a nice wedding but I really wanted to leave once the reception started, and I don't even drink but on occasions. All the people made it so much worse without at least a drink. I had anxiety the whole time. I like what someone said here, it really is a "social lubricant!" Everyone was going to their cars to drink and we hit the road pretty quick! They ran out of food, I didn't even get a snack! After waiting 6 hours because My daughter was in the wedding. No food, no drinks. I was miserable. Lol just adding my personal experience. Hosting properly is very important. Good luck..

Yes, your reception will be shorter. No one will stay and party all night without alcohol. People will eat dinner, chat for about an hour, and the get the heck out of there.

If I'm getting all dressed up and going to a wedding reception, I want to be able to have a few drinks. I've never been to a dry wedding. If I was very close with the bride or groom, I would stay for the duration, but if not I would probably leave after dinner. I don't really dance without a few drinks in me, and watching other people dance is boring. I have to say, I hate the whole "It's sad when people need alcohol to have fun" argument. I can have a freaking fabulous time stone sober. I was just at my niece's first birthday party on Saturday. Was there alcohol? No. Did I have a great time? You bet! But I don't go to a one year olds birthday expecting to have alcohol. I expect it at a wedding.

Feeling better about this now

'Top Ten Bogus Reasons People Use to Justify Dry Weddings and Cash Bars'

@Celia I think you need to add 'our *insert random relative* is in recovery' to your list.

This is not an excuse!