No Alcohol at the Reception

Well then I guess I'm rude since I'm doing what's best for our families and still making it a point to provide alcohol before and after for those that drink. Good thing I'm not inviting anyone from ww to my wedding because they would probably talk shit about it. All I'm trying to say is that I have a wedding of around 100 people. When literally 4 of those people drink there is no point in providing a bar.

ETA: I'm not looking for reassurance that what I'm doing Is okay. We've already made the plans. I'm simply giving op a different viewpoint than just saying "you're an awful person if you don't have an open bar".

Hey Richard.. What was your post about? Can you edit it so WW doesn't zap it?

The reception is planned to start around 7pm and end by 10pm, due to noise ordinance set in the county were the venue is located. We have decided to serve cake around 9:30ish to ensure that a large amount of guest "stick around" so that we are not disappointed. My fiancee side of the family are very religious and do not drink. My side of the family begin fighting, with fists, when drinking is involved. We have a total of about 20-30 (due to spouses) friends who are invited and attending the wedding, all of whom do drink. This is the reasoning behind our decision to forgo alcohol. Based on most of the comments, alcohol should NOT have this much sway on guest and it was shocking to hear that it does. I go to a wedding to support the couple and to be a part of their big moment and commitment, NOT to get wild and drunk.

That being said, I am grateful for the responses. It helped me figure out a way to try and keep guests around a bit longer by holding off on cake for those wanting to have cake before they leave due to lack of alcohol. Also, for those who suggested they would "sneak" it in, no one outside of my wedding party knows that there will be NO alcohol at the wedding. So unless they just happen to carry around drinks in their car. This won't be a factor.

Again, thank you all for the responses. It really helped.

Dry weddings are typically shorter. Alcohol is entertaining. If you want people to stay, you have to entertain them. If not with alcohol, then you'll have to get creative. FH and I are having a dry wedding, for several reasons. We plan to have some games and puzzles set out. The people that we want to spend more time with will be perfectly content with games and no alcohol. The people who won't want to stay for that are the ones we aren't close to anyway but our mothers want there. We figure if our parents are going to insist on inviting people we don't want there, it's their responsibility to entertain them beyond the needs of our other guests, most of which don't drink at all.

I just want to say (and i'm not advocating a dry wedding. I am having an open bar) that maybe some of you don't understand certain social dynamics.... I live in Montana. People here drink. I mean alot. Alcoholism is a serious issue. My FH is an alcoholic. So are many of our friends. The bartenders here do not cut people off when they've had to much ( as our sky high DUI rate shows) I'm actually having an open bar to accommodate our lushy friends (who I love with out judgement ), I just think sometimes the whole "trust adults to adult or your an asshole" is sort of unrealistic and isn't true for all situations. That being said, I so can't dance without being half trashed, so....

Host your guests properly. If you have a licensed bartender they won't let people be over served. The reception is a thank you to your guests. Don't assume that because you don't drink no one else wants to. And people are right I would leave quickly if a reception wasn't serving booze. Beer and wine is fine, no need to bring hard alcohol into the equation either.

'We have decided to serve cake around 9:30ish to ensure that a large amount of guest "stick around" so that we are not disappointed.'

Please don't drag this out. If you are set on having a dry wedding, it should be short and sweet. You can't have your cake and it too.

I went to a dry wedding once and a group of friends and I brought alcohol and drank in the parking lot beforehand. We were the only ones dancing and many other people left early. It was still fun but expect less of the party atmosphere as others have described. Providing alcohol keeps the drinking safe and controlled.

Again, Lesleigh, you can give us all the reasons that people should stay at your dry reception. Explain away. Spend days explaining. It doesn't matter how you justify it. People will leave early, probably right after dinner. Arguing here about it is not going to change that. I'm sorry, it's just the way it is. Prepare for that eventuality so you're not hurt when it happens.

I feel like having no alcohol is definitely something people will gossip about and they may just Leave after dinner. Just serve beer and wine for cocktail hour, and maybe throw in a couple of the Quick things like 1st dances before dinner and cut the cake last.

Don't bother to seek acceptance from WW forums for alcohol- free weddings. People can be downright rude about how you "have" to serve alcohol at receptions no matter the (completely valid) reasons not to. What matters more than these people's opinions are your individual circumstances. In some regions of the US, for example, serving alcohol at receptions simply is uncommon. Also if, for example, you're a recovering alcoholic, it might be best to not put yourself in a situation where you're hosting a party with alcohol. Don't seek acceptance if your decision is right for you. It is highly unlikely any person currently on these forums will even be invited to your reception.

Ann. If you read the original post the OP said she'd be heartbroken if people leave early. We're telling her that she'd better prepare for that.

I can tell you that people will either leave early or BYOB. One of my bffs had an alcohol-free wedding & the owners of the venue almost closed it down because people were sneaking their own alcohol in. I'd suggest to at least offer beer & wine. It'd be a shame for you to spend all this money to have people leave because of no alcohol.

I am one of those people that do not think you need to serve alcohol at a wedding. I've already posted on this subject today as most have these other people who are berating non-alcohol weddings.

However, with that being said, if you are concerned about people leaving early due to there not being alcohol, that is a distinct possibility. It really depends on your guest list. If I were at a wedding where I knew everyone and was super comfortable being there, it probably wouldn't bother me that there was no alcohol. However, if I were at an acquaintance's wedding or wasn't very comfortable, I would probably leave early.

You need to decide what works best for your situation. If you have enough reasons to not serve alcohol that outweighs any possible benefit to serving alcohol, then do what works best for you.

We are also not having alcohol and it's a late wedding (7 pm) so we're doing a variety of hot and cold hors d'oeuvres, cake, and punch. I expect it to be short especially with only 20 family members in attendance and we're ok with that.

No one who is looking for wine is going to stay longer because you've promised them cake. Don't drag it out because you'll be cutting your cake with 10 people left.

Out of eight pages of comments, like 6 of them, at least, have said to have alcohol. And if you have even one person who drinks, (you have 30?) they should be allowed to.

You kinda knew what you were going to do from the getgo. So why ask?

If I was going to leave a wedding for whatever reason including that it was dry I can promise you what would not get me to stick around.... cake at 9:30. I don't need cake, I'll be fine. I think you'll be disappointed when people do not hold out for the cake - and you'll have all this leftover cake.

Also, how will people know the cake is served 30 minutes before the end? If cake wasn't served within a half hour of the end of dinner I would assume there isn't any. Are you announcing this? I would be pretty peeved if I figured out that the hostess was using cake as a way to keep me from leaving.

I loveeeee to drink, but I do not need alcohol to party and have a good time. Assuming you have a DJ with good music..I could party all night