NJ venues

Look at women's clubs; the Englewood Women's club is the carriage house from an old estate; I think it would be perfect. The Museum of Morris is built in an old mansion too. Mountain lakes house, in Princeton would be fun for that too.

The venue is probably going to cost you the same whatever you do in it.

If it's really small? I have a florist friend in Hasbrouck Heights who literally has a tea shop on top of his store. Heights Flower Shop. It's cute but it's small.

I'd check out Baldpate Mountain (aka Strawberry Hill Mansion), park of Mercer County Park System, beautiful with gardens & amazing view, very reasonable and they allow you to pretty much use any caterer.

I'm not sure if this place does "weddings", but they do bridal showers, etc.

http://www.highsocieteanj.com/members/highsocieteanj

I have a friend who had a tea-party themed baby shower at the Montclair Country Club. Perhaps a small wedding could be similar.

How many people? I think you could do this at any venue where you bring in your own caterer. I would also try searching for places that cater to "private events" rather than weddings. Wedding in NJ and NY does not mean tea and cake. Most wedding venues would probably prioritize an event that will bring in higher revenue unless it was mon-thurs.

If you are open to a lot of DIY, I'd look into community centers and firehouse banquet halls. You would have to bring everything in, but you could do whatever you wanted. Woods road firehouse in Hillsborough is just one idea. You could also try parks or gardens like PPs suggested.

Lexi: do you know how I can get in contact with someone from there? Can't find it on google

The park Lexi is talking about is a Mercer county park. I've been there it's super cute. I actually looked into having my wedding there, but it didn't accommodate all my guests if it were to rain. Was able to find it on Google quite easily. You probably have to call the park system directly and go from there.

edit: added photo

http://www.mercercountyparks.org/parks/baldpate-mountain

More...

http://www.mercercountyparks.org/about/catering-special-events

STRAWBERRY HILL MANSION AT BALDPATE MOUNTAIN

Beautiful views of the Delaware River Valley and the surrounding mountainside. The Strawberry Hill Mansion offers seating for 25-30 people and the outdoor patio can seat 120. Corporate events and special occasions will love the setting this unique space has to offer. All Mercer County Park caterers can be contacted to cater an event or an outside vendor if desired. For more information contact Joe Pizza at (609) 303-0700 or ******@************.***.

Look into renting a bed and breakfast

Found it thank you!!! And I'm emailing joe now. But wait.. Mrsbest2b, if it rains, it looks like the mansion can't accommodate 50 people

For 50 people try Beneduce Vineyards or Old York Cellars. Both have indoor/outdoor spaces, beautiful. You pay per person for rentals and wine. Catering is up to you, so you could do tea and cake. Also Rutgers Gardens, which is only a pavillion with a smaller cabin, but you can rent tented sides in the event of rain.

I've done a lot of research in the area! Hah. Here's a bunch of gorgeous venues that come to mind when I think "Alice In Wonderland". Not sure of your budget, but worth looking into.

The Old Mill - Rose Valley, PA (prob the most reasonable price wise)

Hunting Hill Mansion at Ridley Creek - Newtown Square, PA (also reasonable)

Holly Hedge Estate - New Hope, PA (May be too expensive? Idk)

Cairnwood Estate - Bryn Athyn, PA

Font Hill Castle - Doylestown, PA

Some local vineyards - Chaddsford Winery, Rose Bank Winery, Grace Winery (may be too expensive), Unionville Winery (Where I actually got engaged! )

Goodluck!

ETA: Also maybe look at Arboretums? They tend to have beautiful art around. Ex: Tyler Arboretum, Morris Arboretum.