Newly Engaged

I would let it go for now. If it continues then I would say something kindly that whenever he does propose to her you bet it will be very special and that you'll be happy for her but for now you wish she could be happy for you. I don't know. Do you plan to put her in your wedding. That may be a way to gently bring it up - that you want her to be happy and enjoy this time with you but you are worried that since she's hurt that it won't be as fun for either of you to share the moment. Maybe she just doesn't realize how negative shes being.

My soon to be brother in law is a one upper so as soon as we got engaged he started talking about how they were too. I was frustrated at first but I let it go and plan to just be happy for them when the time comes!

I totally get being upset that a close friend doesn't share your happiness during such a special time for you. That being said, it seems like you know the "why" behind it. Is she going about any of it appropriately? Absolutely not. Does it stink to fit the "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" description? Yes. I'd let it go. She'll get over it soon. For now celebrate the fact that you're getting MARRIED!!! Congratulations

I would let it go & ignore her for now. Don't discuss wedding related things with her & invite her to wedding planning things. She is obviously going through some things emotionally so hopefully she can get them sorted out in her own relationship.

A lot of people react differently to engagement news. Unfortunately, we can't be in control of that. Some people really celebrate, and some people have pity parties, and it sounds like that's what she's doing right now.

I was on the other side of this story when my SIL got engaged to my little brother. She was and still is a great lady, and at the time, I wasn't even in a relationship, but I had major jealousy issues the first few days after their engagement. It had nothing to do with the actual engagement, but it had everything to do with the fact that my brother gave her my mother's ring. (Back story, my dad died when we were teenagers and the ring he bought my mom was very sentimental. He had a diamond placed inside the band every year on their anniversary. When he passed, my mom wore the ring on a chain, and eventually she put it in a drawer and said she wished for me to have it and that when I met the man of my dreams, to let him know to come and ask for it. So I was a little crushed when Mom gave it to my brother because she "got tired of waiting for me to meet someone". Her words, not mine, which made the news even worse.) Now, of course, I feel silly about all of it, and immature to boot!!

I did not behave badly, however, and that is the difference. I feigned a lot of excitement the first few days, and never let on that I was so devastated about the ring. They still don't know about mom's promise, and why should they? Eventually I got into the swing of planning with her, and really started to enjoy how much closer we were becoming. I couldn't begrudge my little brother his happiness, and while I do still get wistful about the ring occasionally, I am so much happier now that my FI and I picked a ring out together that has our own sentimental value.

Yes, her behavior is bad, and she should not put that on you - you had nothing to do with the proposal, after all. This is a conversation she should continue having with her SO, period. Give her some time. I have a great poker face, but sometimes the initial sadness is harder for others to hide. She'll get over it.

I'm sorry she's being such a lunatic and don't let her make you feel badly about it any more. Enjoy your engagement!! It's all about YOU, not her.

I would let it go, not discuss any wedding plans with her... maybe even when she does get engaged... keep your weddings completely separate.