Newborn at a wedding?

We can't answer his for you honestly. You need to talk to them about this. Every couple is different and they are within their right to have babies there and you would be within your right to decline

Newborns are still children. Could you possibly pump and hire a sitter? Or maybe have a sitter attend as well and hang in a back room with the baby? Either way, talk to your brother/sister in law and just ask. My brother is having a baby in December and I already told his gf she can't bring the baby or her toddler to our wedding in march. Newborns cry and I just don't to risk want that during my ceremony....but that's just me.

Most couples getting married (or in this case vow renewal) have reasons for having an adult only wedding, and they also choose it knowing there will be people who cant attend because of that. So I'm sure they know & understand you wont come. It is sad for you, but you said this is a vow renewal. I'm assuming you've already seen them get married, so it's not like your missing out on much. You may not understand their choice, and it's your choice on attendance

If you can't go because you're breastfeeding, then don't go. An invitation to their event is not an obligation.

Also, maybe this will sound insensitive, but it's a vow renewal. It's not a wedding. If they won't let you bring your baby, then don't go.

I almost decided to have a child-free ceremony and reception because I do not want a child to be cry, yell, etc... during the events, which are at a winery. However, I decided to take a chance and invite my cousin's and my brother's toddlers because they are family, and traveling very far. I did not invite anyone else's children. I understand that it is entirely probable that the two toddlers will become noisy at the worst possible times. Hopefully they won't, but if they do, it won't ruin my day.

Anyway, the point in this story is that your brother's situation is unique to him. Explain your situation to him- he may rather have you attend with a newborn than not attend at all. Under no circumstances should you attend with a newborn without your brother's consent.

And if your brother does not want your newborn present for the renewal? In my opinion, your brother's wishes shouldn't offend you, just as your choice to attend only if your newborn can attend shouldn't offend him.

I say just don't go.

ETA: I would also be concerned about having a 2-3 week old, with a very low immune system, at an event in the middle of cold & flu season.

A vow renewal is just as important to a couple as a wedding is. Newborns cry and at 3 weeks perhaps your baby should be indoors.

I hate how a few stupid parents who let their kids cry during the ceremony ruin it for the people who have the common sense to GTFO if your baby or toddler cries or yell! Anyways I wouldn't attend establishing your milk supply and bonding is gonna be your top priority, but doesn't hurt to ask him!

I agree with Courtney.

I wouldn't even consider asking this of my brother, I would pump and leave the children with a sitter, but thats me.

I always assumed newborns don't really fall into the "children" category, because after all you are breastfeeding and how can you really leave them?? We are having no children at our wedding, but I assume my friends with newborns will bring them because how else could they attend.

With 2 additional children at home besides your newborn, I would think that you would probably be too tired to enjoy yourself; also, do you really want to expose a newborn baby to that many people (with germs etc.) Is it possible for you to attend just the ceremony and then return home? Unlike most people, I am allowing children at my wedding but would not want a newborn there. While most kids can easily be soothed or have their attention re-directed, I believe a newborn baby's cries would be very disruptive during the ceremony and/or reception.

To defend her, what people dont realize, is that by breastfeeding she's giving her baby her a germ-barrier. Mother's milk carries their anti-bodies & things that protect us from bacteria/viruses, that's carried onto the baby. If anything, the baby's immune system is heightened when breastfeeding, not lowered. It's after breastfeeding that the baby's body now has to create its own anti-bodies instead of relying on the mothers.

I dont know at what age (how many months newborn), but usually it's suggested to get babies out into the world early, to get their immune system built up. You cant build up immunities if you arent exposed to germs.

So IMO that's not a reason not to take the baby out.

For the first three weeks, it is critical to establish breastfeeding--which means no pumping and giving the baby a bottle. So your options really are to go with the baby, or not go. Your brother and his wife still have the option of saying it is a chld-free event, but if they apply that to you, then they have to understand that you won't be able to attend. I think you need to talk to them and explain that these are your options, and see what they say.

If the baby were older, then I'd agree that pumping and having a sitter would be an option, but not at that age.

Everything that 2d Bride said.

Yup. It's fair that they ask if the baby doesn't go - so you have to decide whether to go with or without the baby. If I had a guest with a newborn who couldn't go because of it, I'd understand.

Keep in mind two other things...

1) This vow renewal is about your brother and his wife. If you bring a 2-3 week old baby, it ceased to be about them because it'll also be the first time many people will see your baby. Do you want to introduce your baby to the family at someone else's event?

2) Is it a good place to bring your newborn? Will there be a loud reception? Is it a place that you can sneak away if you need to breastfeed or put him down? At such a young age, I'd be hesitant to bring a newborn to a wedding/vow renewal.

Also I think you are waaaaay putting the cart before the horse, that baby could be six weeks old or one week old or even not born yet by the time the event rolls around.

You also may be worrying over this for nothing. Have the invitations gone out yet? Is it possible that yours will say Ms Joy, Joy's Fiance, and Baby Joy? If it is really worrying you then ask your brother.......but unless you are having a c-section and the date is already set you have no way of knowing what the actual facts are going to be by then!

Honestly I think your brother would understand if you couldn't make it to their vow renewal. I had a cousin from oot who had a 6 week old and wanted to attend our wedding although I would have loved to see her and the baby I advised her not to come because it's too risky to travel with a new born and have him exposed in a room full of people before his 1st set of shots. I worried about the baby''a health and know its hard to part a mom from her baby.

My sister ran into this problem with her newborn son. She called the couple and explained the situation of how she was breastfeeding him and was in the early stages. They were completely fine with it . If he got cranky she simply stepped into the hall to calm him down. I only want my few nieces and nephews at my wedding and no other children. But if somebody came to me with this issue, I would have no problem with them bringing their newborn.

You should speak to your brother.

Personally, I wouldn't attend with a child that young. Its a vow renewal and about them. Have a separate time to introduce your little one, where you can set the stage and circumstances for best feeding.

Talk to them. If I were you...I just wouldn't go. I didn't mind my 1 week old nephew being at the wedding but we had a very kid friendly wedding and he was no problem at all. But if they don't want kids...then that might include newborns...but ask them.