New Level of Stress

Everything is going to be okay, take a deep breath! ❤️
My parents urged me to wait until 2021 and I refused, and I compromised by making it a court wedding but it is now a minimony. We will be doing if the big way in either 2021 or 2022. That was just the best way for us to do things to keep everyone else happy, while getting to be married (which makes me and him happy!) idk how far along you are in your planning options, but maybe consider a more intimate event until the financial situation looks different. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Everyone’s situation is different so, I can’t say what will work best for you, but take some time to think about it. If you are religious, pray. It will all work out love ❤️

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Thank you so much!! We have discussed having a minimony/elopement, but after going over everything it would be so much more money lost if we cancelled the venue! Our venue also charges for the date to be pushed back anything longer than 6 months and quite honestly, I don't know if some family members on either sides that we want to be there will be able to be present unfortunately. I really do appreciate the encouraging words and congratulations to you and your beloved!! I wish y'all the best!

It depends, I'm ten years older than you and got married a couple weeks ago but due to our ages are in (what I would assume is) a much more comfortable financial position. Being in a stable financial position was actually one of the reasons we waited as long as we did to marry. I know a few people who have gone into debt over their wedding, and that just seems like such a reckless way to begin your marriage.

Anyway, that's not really what you asked. If you're set on getting married in 2020, it sounds like you'll have to reevaluate your venue choice. His parents are opting out of contributing financially, it's best to accept that and move on. As far as your parents go, I'd suggest having an open conversation and let them know you don't want to put them in a bad financial position but of-course appreciate them still helping if they can. If they can, great! Find a venue within that budget. If not, then you will have to plan and pay for the wedding within you and FH budget. This might mean city hall or a national park or backyard, but it sounds like you want to be married soon so this is what options would look like.

I'm sorry this is happening. However, this is why I recommend making sure you are financially stable before you get married rather than relying on others. Finances are a huge reason people end up getting divorced so going into a marriage unstable isn't the best idea.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation! Our parents are also covering a large amount of our wedding costs and I too would be super stressed if they didn't come through. I don't really think there is a clear answer about what to do here, but I do have a few thoughts.
One. I think it might be good to ask your FH to have a conversation with his family about this. I obviously don't know the situation, but if asked, maybe they'll still be able to contribute a little even if not what you had originally hoped for. Obviously you two will have a better gauge of whether this is a good idea, but I've found it's usually better to ask than keep quiet. Just don't push it too much after that But they said they would help, I think it's fair to have one honest conversation about their contribution. Of course continue to talk with your parents as well, keep the lines of communication as open as possible!
Two. If you're stuck in this situation, find other areas where you can cut back, whether it be decorations, guest list, etc. It's not worth it to go into debt over your wedding, as finances can be a major cause of tension in marriage. The wedding is a day, the marriage is forever! I know that in our case, if we didn't have our parents' help, we'd be having a pretty small, simple wedding 😅 Because of their generosity, we can have a big celebration (barring COVID of course), but alone, the typical American wedding is well beyond what we could hope to afford. Going into debt over it was one thing we knew we wouldn't do, and I would recommend the same for you. It's totally fine that you're getting married when you are. You don't need to feel guilty about that at all. Just ask for help, and if it doesn't come, be realistic about what you can and can't afford, even if it means going so far as switching venues. Not getting to use the money spent is awful, but having to pay off debt when you're trying to pay bills is worse. Hopefully smaller cuts will add up enough to help out though. Its surprising how the little things can build up.In any case, take a deep breath and think big picture! No matter what, at the end of the day, you'll be married and that's what counts

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I not recommend either of you asking your parents for more money. His parents made it clear they are no longer willing to contribute and your parents made it clear what they are contributing is already a burden. Asking again is not the solution.

No, I'm not stressed woth money. I've never believed in the over the top $20,000 wedding unless I could actually afford it without going into any debt. My FH and I could never ask our families for money. If tgey offered then I would rather use it towards my student loan debt or a house dowm payment. My Fh and I are simply having a wedding we can very much afford. It won't be as big or as flashy as tbe average wedding but it won't be any less special❤

View Quoted Comment I 100 percent agree with this!!!! It's best to be financially independent before marrying. Regardless a wedding with a venue is not a requirement for marriage. The OP could have opted to do city hall or backyard and probably wouldn't need any family members' financial assistance.