Nervous about becoming a wife?

It depends what you guys decide on in terms of split responsibilities, but, um, he can cook. He can do laundry. He can clean. Etc. There will definitely be an adjustment period but you are getting married to be life partners. Key word: partners. He's an adult too and can contribute!

I recommend not combining finances, setting up clear expectations in terms of chores/timing of those chores, and making sure you have alone time (to watch goofy tv or sports or go shopping or golf or whatever it may be).

I've lived with my FH for almost our entire relationship (4 years), but I am nervous about moving out and being on my own with him (we live at my parents house). But I think I am more afraid of being a wife. Or failing as being a wife. I love my mom but she is very dominate in her marriage with my step-dad, and I know she gets frustrated because I am not like that, but I don't WANT to be like that. I don't want that kind of marriage. and neither does my FH.

I have seen more and more in the last year how much I will have to work with my FH with how he cleans etc. and I know it takes two to learn how to live with each other. I think it is just something you get used to. I know you'll adjust fine, it will be fun, it will be hard, then it will be easy, and it will then just become a life style... good luck!

when FH first moved in, I would wake up before him and put a little make up on and brush my teeth and lay back down like I woke up like that LOL that didn't last long.

I also live at home - I am most worried about leaving the "family pets". Obviously I cannot take half the cats with me. That is honestly my main concern. My second concern is my FIL's but that is a whole other story/issue there.

Good luck, there will be learning but he will be learning as well. As Stephanie said, you can split responsibilities. For myself, I already feel like a wife. FH and I live together and split responsibilities when I moved in. I am a better cook so I cook, he does the laundry and we both clean.

Lol Allison! I thought about doing the same thing as far as waking up before him and brushing my teeth and making sure my hair doesn't look like a crazy lion haha.

I grew up with my mom always being a housewife and my dad owns his own company so he always worked and came home at night. When he came home my mom always had dinner hot and ready for him, clean towels hanging in the bathroom for him to shower and a comfy outfit laid out for him to wear. My dad has never cleaned, done laundry or washed a single dish in his married life. That's what I grew up with and that's the way I'd like to be with my husband. Everyone is different and some will see this lifestyle as unfair but I don't really care.. It is what I grew up with and I wouldn't mind doing those things for my husband. My FH does a lot for me as it is so I think I can at least repay him by taking care of him in that way. I am afraid of failing though, too. I'm a HORRIBLE cook, lol. I know my food will turn out bland, too much salt (or not enough), burned, not cooked all the day, etc. lol, but my FH is very patient with me and he knows that I am basically entering a whole other dimention (twilight zone... insert creepy music here!) But yeah, eventually it'll all become normal.

Oh lord.....Good luck is all I can say!!!

Make him clean up his own shit.

On the cooking...it's never too early to start cooking... Make a few dishes for your family at home NOW, so when you move out you will have some recipes down to make for your FH. Now with Pinterest and the Internet, finding recipes is a cinch..the more you cook the more you'll start to "improvise" on the cooking too.

When my future husband moved in, we did a "Roommate Agreement", just like on the Big Bang Theory. It had the chores split (I do the laundry, he does the kitty litter... if we go out to dinner with HIS friends, he pays; if we go out to dinner with MY friends, I pay; if we go out the 2 of us, we split down the middle... I can save receipts and keep crazy track of my finances; he will not). It forced the awkward conversations at the beginning and set boundaries and something to refer to in the future. On the good side, we've never needed it since, but I'm really glad we did it!

Be patient and prepared. I've lived with FH for 5 years now and the first 2 years were very difficult. It will be an adjustment period and if you keep that in mind and be patient with each other, it should get easier as time goes on. Also, who says you have to do all the cooking and cleaning?

FH and I have lived together for a year and as much as I'd like to say we "share" responsibilities, his dirty socks are EVERYWHERE and I don't think he's ever once put groceries away after coming home from the market. I actually found a bag of groceries in the fridge this week... like, the whole bag. Some of the items didn't even need to be refrigerated.

So... good luck! Communication is key!

Thank you everyone. As I mentioned, some people may not agree with my way of thinking of wanting to cater to my FH, that is your personal opinion so I ask that you please be respectful when giving your opinion/advice.

As far as the cooking goes, I definitely want to start cooking for my family to learn the basics but I've been so busy I haven't had time. The good thing is that pinterest and the internet are so easy as far as finding recipes. I used to be a cake decorator so I can bake delicious sweets, but... Let's be real, living off of sweets will make us gain a whole bunch on weight lol.

Lol on the whole bags in the fridge! That's so funny. Communication will be the biggest factor, we need to learn to talk and understand each other once we are living together. Most of the married couples I've spoken to say the hardest is the first year, because you have to get used to your partners way of life and habits. I'm hoping it won't be TOO bad for us but I'm sure we will have many small discussions on certain things. I will be sure to always give myself time for ME, he likes to play video games to relax and I like to pop in my headphones and listen to music while painting my nails, playing a game etc.

I highly recommend you try to spend some time in the kitchen with your mom now. Having at least one dish that you can fall back on and cook perfectly is really nice to have. Sure having spaghetti and meatballs every night isn't a solid plan, but at least it's something in case company is coming over. Not to mention one dish can lead into other dishes. So meatballs easily become meatloaf. Spaghetti can be switched to any number of pastas with olive oil and veggies thrown on top.

My only real question is that, if this was the way you grew up, and you knew this was the kind of wife you wanted to be, and you've been with your FH for SO Many years, why are you just learning basic domestic skills now? Are you afraid that you're not going to have mommy and daddy to take care of you now? I guess, for me, the women I've seen who think the way you do have been preparing for that role their whole lives. Hell, I don't even want that lifestyle and I know how to cook, clean, get stains out of laundry, etc.

My husband and I make dinner together, and we both clean up the house together.

I have no reason to explain to you my life and why I have not learned how to cook over the last few years. I know how to do every thing else except for cooking. Also, for your information, my mommy and daddy will ALWAYS be there to take care of me, whether it is living at home or on my own. If you don't agree with my way of thinking then please feel free to keep scrolling and ignore this post.

Making dinner together is a good idea, we've talked about it before and I think it would be fun to try.

Well good luck with that. I think you're setting yourself up for some failure by putting pressure on yoursel right away to be the kind of wife you're obviously not equipped to be YET. You obviously know that, which is where your fear is coming from. I say, let your FH help you and over the course of time, evolve into that "type" of wife.

Our transition was really easy. We each do our own laundry, share cleaning and he does most of the cooking. I could never be a housewife. I like making money too much and I hate cooking and cleaning. If it works for you guys great. However, don't let him become too dependent on you. When my grandma passed away my grandfather was lost because she literally did EVERYTHING for him. Poor guy still isn't right.

Prepare for arguments and compromises, especially since you've never been on your own/lived with anyone else. You say now that you want to dote on him, but y'all might fight over boundaries and roles and responsibilities. I'd also have him maintain a bit of independence from you as well. If he gets used to you taking care of him 100%, he could easily take advantage of that. Have very open communication.

Good luck!