Need someone to marry us

Try local mayors. They will often travel to a venue when needed.

Many officiants are not pastors/church leaders but can still provide a Christian wedding. DH and I are both Christian, raised Christian and attended church regularly but are not currently members of any Church for a few reasons including what you mentioned. We found an officiant (via ww vendor search) who provided a beautiful wedding, and incorporated as much, or as little, "church stuff" as we wanted.

My sister got married in a Lutheran Church with a very Christian ceremony despite her or her husband being members. Unitarian churches are Christian but also very open minded. Ask around.

Before you start judging me hear me out first.

Yeah I don't offer help to people who start their posts like that. Drama.

"Before you start judging me hear me out first"

"But I see a lot of hypocrisy In Christianity and religion. I thought Christians were to love thy neighbor and help them out. Nope. Not in the least"

Maybe you should take your own advice.

I do, I help other people as much as I can. Just because I don't go to a church doesn't make me a bad person. I've just had a lot of bad experiences with Christianity. Besides I'm not starting drama. I'm simply asking for help

Https://www.google.com/

That should help.

" we think it would start something if we didn't have a Christian wedding."

What does that mean?

Have the wedding you two want.

Search for an officiant and find one you both like. Tada!

And its probably a good idea to not say something like "before you start judging me" in your posts. not a good intro.

An officiant is pretty much the most important thing you need to get married so I suggest finding $200-$500 in your budget to allocate to hiring a professional. You have over a year until your wedding so if you save $50/month for the next 10 months your officiant is paid for. Use the vendor tab to find someone in your area and your problem is solved.

I'm not religious, I have an officiant, it's the first thing I booked. You don't need to be a part of a Church. WW has a handy-dandy Vendor tab, it's how I found my officiant.

I got nothing besides my basic advice.

Find a good officiant. Use the tab here. They can do a spiritual ceremony for you that doesn't feel like it compromises your values. Expect to pay 250-600.00 depending on your area.

As far as getting married in a church, different denominations have different rules about marrying non-believers. It sounds like your cousin belongs to a church that has some rules. Other churches and individual ministers can be much more relaxed. Does your FH have a church (current, or one his parents attend)? Maybe you could contact that church's minister to find out if he would be willing to perform your ceremony. You can also call around to different churches in the area to inquire about their minister's services.

PP's also make a good point that many officiants who are not pastors at churches can still perform religious wedding ceremonies.

Sometimes pastors decide not to marry people outside of their church because they are too busy marrying people inside their church. I'm Catholic and have seen some parishes with really beautiful churches or popular destination locations (e.g. Cathedrals, Basilicas, ocean communities) restrict use of their church to members only because otherwise all the weekends would be used up by non-members. Also, he might not be comfortable marrying people outside of his faith. There are legitimate reasons he might not be able to marry you and FH.

If both of you are the same faith as this pastor (you never specified which denomination of Christianity y'all are), then why not join this church?

I wasn't going to judge you until you used a blanket stereotype and bashed my religion.

M'am, that is usually the case when using a pastor at a specific church. The couple needs to be a member of the church. That has nothing to do with religion, but church business. Use the vendors tab. Send some emails. You'll find someone

"I've just had a lot of bad experiences with Christianity"

No, you've had a lot of bad experiences with people who claim to be christian. Its fine if you dont follow/agree with the religious doctrine but do not blame the entire religion for the selfish acts of individuals. Thats such a dangerous game.

Look at the world today. It's so full of generalizations and assumptions based on race, political party, and religion. Do not add to the ignorance.

"But I see a lot of hypocrisy In Christianity and religion. I thought Christians were to love thy neighbor and help them out. Nope. Not in the least"

You are making a blanket statement judging all Christians. You are asking for grace, but not offering any.

A pastor is under no obligation to marry a couple. Especially, if he feels convicted about the marriage e.g. a believer marrying a non-believer, etc. Find a different officiant who will perform a marriage ceremony you are happy with.

I am so confused. It isn't uncommon for a pastor to refuse to do a wedding for non-members of their church.

It sounds like you just wanted a free officiant, and you'd seen his work before.

Even if you were members, a donation to the church is still expected in exchange for their services. You're not going to find someone to do it for free, you still need to PAY them.

Sounds like you're more interested in getting professional services for free.

Can you get a friend or family member ordained?

Janine- Thats not as good of an idea as a lot of people think. There are legality issues (not all states will recognize certain ordain-ships) Public speaking issues, prep etc. it all adds up and is usually (not always, but why take the chance on your big day) bad.

Try a local Unitarian congregation (UUA). They are very willing to conduct spiritual ceremonies and welcome both followers of traditional religions and secular humanists.