Need advice on dealing with difficult venue

We have been having a bad experience with our venue, and in particular, the on-site event manager. As a little background, the venue was purchased by new management in 2020. They renovated from top to bottom and it’s beautiful. The on-site event manager runs her own wedding planning business; however, couples are not obligated to hire her for their wedding if they don’t want to. We didn’t hire her, but she is still the primary point of contact at the venue. I think this has contributed to our poor experience with her.


Since booking the venue in late 2020, the communication with the venue has been sub par at best. A few examples:
1. We were told in January 2021 that we could bring in our rentals and store them Friday the day before the wedding. Yesterday, one month out, the event manager emailed to say nothing could be brought in until the morning of. This will end up costing us a lot more for weekend delivery.2. We’ve been asking for a bar menu since February. The venue keeps saying they don’t have a menu yet, but the bar and restaurant have been fully operational this summer and they’ve hosted other weddings. Why can’t they tell me what a Tito’s and soda will cost?3. We were told that we could bring breakfast in for our guests the morning after. I booked the catering and then when I confirmed ruth the venue in July, she acted Ike she never told us we could bring it in. She said the inn would be offering breakfast now and third party catering isn’t allowed. Now as of yesterday, she’s saying no breakfast will be served, but they will give guests a breakfast voucher to a coffee shop in town. Again, another complete change from what was originally communicated. 4. We plan to have the ceremony on the front lawn and we’re told that would be no problem. Over the summer, the venue erected the most hideous fire red colored awning over the lawn to cover the eating area. This was a big shock, but we figured we’d make do it work around it. Keep in mind we were originally told it would be a white tent and that if we didn’t want to use it, they would take it down before the wedding since outdoor dining will be closed by then. Now not only have they installed something completely different, they’re also saying they don’t want to take it down. 5. Lastly, in March the event manager suggested we bring in a stage for the band. Yesterday when I emailed to confirm we were, she said she was concerned with the rentals being brought in because set up can’t happen until day of, which as I mentioned, was also a new surprise to us a month out.
There are many other examples of them saying one thing and then doing another or being poor communicators overall. The event manager seems to be clueless as to what’s actually going on and generally has an attitude towards us. We’ve been super flexible and easy going throughout the process, but now that we’re down to the wire, we’re getting really sick of her crap, to be frank. I understand plans change and new venue ownership is tough to navigate, but if you tell wedding clients something, you should follow through and not rescind it a month before the wedding. I’m inclined to have our day of coordinator handle all communication going forward. If I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll snap. My fiancé thinks we should start being more demanding and stern with the event manager.
What do people think is the best course of action? I don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize the wedding, but I also don’t want to sit idly by and let the venue get away with essentially lying to us multiple times and ignoring our requests for basic information.