my sister is a lesbiane. and wont wear A dress

You are perfectly free to tell her that because you want your BMs to be matching, she would have to wear a dress in order to be one, and then leave the choice up to her. (Her being a lesbian does not preclude her from wearing a dress.) However, this could mean that she would not be willing to be a BM.

Alternatively, you could have her dress in whatever the groomsmen are wearing. A good tailor could alter a man's suit or tuxedo so that it would fit a woman. That way, she would at least fit in with the wedding party more.

There is no right or wrong answer here. It's really just a question of which is more important to you: having that sister as a BM, or having your BMs all matching.

My sister is a lesbian and she is far from girly as well. I don't think I've seen her in a dress in... I can't even remember actually!

But as part of my bridal party she understood that she would need to wear a dress. I would go dress shopping with her, and maybe see what kind of dress she is comfortable wearing, maybe something on the more modest side if she doesn't like looking feminine?

My sister had a huge hand in picking out the dresses so she's happy and comfortable and thankfully the other girls like the dress too.

If you mean a lot to her and if she wants to be a part of your big day in your BP, then she can compromise this one thing for you.

You're nice enough to let her change after the ceremony! A dress for about an hour? I think that's a fair trade IMO!

Yeah im going to have to talk to her face to face we live 2 hours away and i really want her there im just affriad she will say yes then back out at the last minute everytime i invite her to look at dresses she gives me an excuse

If what is important to you is that your sister that you love respect and support is in your wedding than let her wear a nice pant suit if she if she will be more comfortable, at the end of it all you will regret her not being a bm and it should not be a big deal your family never sees her in a dress anyway!I understand what you want but why stop supporting her now even if it is just for one day,you could even have a suit made in the same color as the bm dresses!JMO

My sister is the same way. and she's about 1 1/2 hours away from me. So it's tough, but I solved it by picking her ass up! lol.

So she didn't have an excuse, she wasn't too excited about trying on dresses either but I sent her a bunch of styles that I liked, and she told me what she liked. She liked something that would cover her knees, and something halter-y, in a medium-dark color. Which worked out perfect because my main color is Purple. So at least we had similar taste! lol.

You still have some time, so that could be why she's flaking out, she probably thinks there's plenty of time to spare. Just try to find a day that works best for her, and tell her how much it will mean to you, to go out looking at dresses and spending some bonding time together. Hopefully she'll come around!

I think bridesmaids always have to get stuck wearing something they don't like lesbian or straight. And brides should want their bridal party to be as comfy as they can be within reason of course. I hate halter tops on me because they make me look wider and bigger and hurt my neck and I had to wear a halter dress for my friends wedding and all I could think of was waiting for the moment to get that thing off me. I think maybe she should be able to get a pant suit that matches the color of the bridesmaid that way your bridal party looks good and she is not miserable because it will translate in the pictures and she won't be happy about being forced to wear that even for an hour.

As a bride who will be wearing a pantsuite, I can understand her desire to wear pants. It may seem like no big deal to you that she can just wear the dress for an hour, but trust me, you'll likely not get the happy smiles in the photos that you're hoping for. I think it would be like trying to wear shoes two sizes too small along with underwear two sizes too tight. You might be wearing the same thing everyone else is wearing, but your misery is going to shine through plain and simple. Then you're going to be upset that she's not all smiles. Just sayin'.

Let her try on what you want her to wear, but look not only at the outfit but also her expression while she wears it. You'll easily know by her look if she's going to be totally uncomfortable in it. My mom always wanted me to wear a dress, but after I tried on two she was like "thanks for trying them on for me. So what did you have in mind to wear for the wedding." She knew it wasn't going to work for me.

*pantsuit*

How about a feminine suit that matched the dresses somehow?

As others have noted, some women (straight, lesbian, or otherwise) just are not comfortable in a dress, and that unhappiness and discomfort WILL show if they are forced into putting one on, even if they're trying to hide it. She may have once remarked that she would wear a dress for a sister without really thinking about it; it probably feels different being asked to actually wear one at a specific future date.

Anyway, it's really a matter of deciding which is more important to you, having your sister in the BP or having them match. As 2d Bride said, there's no "right" answer here, but it's important to be honest about it--if you really will be unhappy with her in the BP and not in a dress, then you should think of some other role for her to play.

I, personally, would find a nice pants suit that matches the rest of the BP. I have many female friends who refuse to wear dresses. I have heard all the excuses of "I have chicken legs for legs" to "I really hate dresses". To be honest I don't see why the brides maids have to be wearing dresses but that's just me.

Shannon- I think that is WONDERFUL insight and a very good mindset to have when shopping with BM's for anything! My BM's tried on the dress i wanted for them and even though they werent CRAZY about it, i knew they would be okay in them because they instantly started dancing this rediculous jig.

Now that I think about it- thats what made me buy my dress too. I put it in and instantly wanted to skip and a jump and dance and smile really big

You may be able to force her into a dress, but is that what you want? If she feels more comfortable in a pants suit, I'd let her wear it. You have been a great support system for her, and I think letting her wear what she's comfortable in will mean a lot to her. They have very classy pant suits that will still look nice in your pictures.

I haven't read through other responses yet but here is my opinion. My middle sister is the exact same way. When my oldest sister got married, she tried to force her into a dress and it really put a rift in their relationship. It became a disaster and made my middle sister feel very bad, as though my oldest sister just could not accept who she is. I am kind of like you with your sister, the only one in the family who has totally accepted my sister for who she really is since she came out. It is the most important thing to me in the world that she be my maid of honor, so I told her she could wear pants and a shirt the same color as the girls' dresses and she was very happy with that. If she is really uncomfortable with it, and you really want her in the wedding, I would consider letting your sister do something similar. Best of Luck

I would not amke her wear a dress like others, but a nice pant set in the same color. I see something like this that is not monly yet not too feminine.

Leia you need to decide one thing. Which is more important to you. Your sister being comfortable or her in a dress? Alfred Angelo makes pants suits in colors that matches their dresses. You can see them on the website as MOB wear. Most are really nice I seen the styles for MOb at a bridal shope near me. Some of teh pants are the larger bell shape that looks like a skirt in pictures. with long dresses on your other girls I don't think anyone will know the difference.

My eldest daughter is a lesbian and she is my MOH. When I asked her to be in the wedding, she asked if she would have to wear a dress. I knew she would be very uncomfortable and I told her no. Initially, she thought she might want to wear a tux, but has since decided to wear slacks with a vest and a shirt. She does not dress femininely, but she does not like people to confuse the fact that she is a female. If you can find something that your sister would be comfortable wearing and you would be comfortable with as well, it will make your day even more special for the two of you. Good Luck!

I AM WITH

Brooklynne

ON THIS ONE.

Shdvl thanks for the way you put it i will lokk at there website rite now and actually thats the mker of the dress i want to wear. thank you ladies for al your answers and support i think i am going to have to suck it up and let here feel comfertable so we can remain close i asked her to be the moh but she said she would be a bm so we will see what happens i will keep u guys posted

and brooklynne i showed her that exact same suit and she said something with pants and a jacket