My parents don’t support my relationship with my fiancé

I'm with you. I've known Adam forever...we dated in high school. My parents didn't like them then. After my divorce, we got in contact again and very quickly got into a serious relationship. They blame him for my divorce. That was over 6 years ago and he was not the cause of it. We're still together. We're almost 40. They still barely talk to him when we're around them, which isn't often due to them living out of state. If they are here, they will specifically invite ME and my kids out, but not include Adam. When I have tried to include him, it is met with resistance. I'm inviting them to the wedding, but I'm not sure they will come and at this point in my life, I'm good with that. I get that your mom is protecting you, in her mind...but if you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to make your own decisions and I'd let her know that.

Goodness... I can't imagine what you're going for... My first marriage my family was straight up against it. Now I understand why and how if I listened I wouldn't have had such a... Mess.
I am not saying yours is the same but the only way you can make her understand that he is the one you love and you are definitely certain about it is with time. Let her know that you'll prove her wrong and that not to worry about you, that you know what you're getting into. But you, yourself be certain of it! Good luck!

Coming from a completely non-religious person, I think this is absurd. I don't know how big of a role religion plays in your life, but I can assure you that it is NONE of your mom's business how much of a role it plays in your fiance's. If you feel so inclined, sit down and have a chat with her; explain why you'd like to spend the rest of your life with FS for reasons outside of their religious views. However, I personally don't think it needs to be justified. If it were me, I'd say, "tough luck", and let her either get over it or don't. Either way, it wouldn't effect my decision to marry whomever I like.

My mom is on the verge of not getting an invite to our wedding because she can't accept FI (or that I'm divorced and remarrying). It's a choice she's making and I (with the help and support of FI) am learning to not accept negativity of others in my life.

If they had specific compatibility concerns, hear them out. I wish more people had expressed those concerns early to me on my first marriage. But you also have to know yourself and what really matters to you. If his religion doesn't, that's up to you, not her

View Quoted Comment Agree with this! It’s 2019 & religion, just like race, are not valid reasons to marry, or not to marry someone! If your family had concerns about your FH personality traits, or how he is treating you etc. that would be different & should be heard & discussed. But judging someone based on their lack of religion is absurd.

I’m not sure how old you are, but big part of being an independent adult is making your choices & being able to stand behind your decisions proudly. So I wouldn’t even consider hiding my engagement, because of someone else’s prejudices, even if it was my parents.

so I know this kind of story because our best man just went through it. He got married last week to an agnostic woman and his mom has been against that and so she... Literally did not attend her own son's wedding. At the end of the day though that sucks because you want your parents to love who you're spending your life with and to support you but you don't want people there who you know aren't supportive either.
I guess my advice is... Hopefully one day she realizes that he treats you well and you love each other and THAT'S what matters. Sometimes parents may just come around, ya know? My best friends parents HATED her boyfriend so much they'd get into such big arguments but now it has softened a lot over time. Sorry I couldn't give you better advice than that!

I think that if your parent's only concern is the fact that he is agnostic, then you should sit down with them and tell them something along the lines of, while you respect the fact that they wish you would marry a Christian, besides that one fact, your FH treats you well, respects you, and loves you, and that is all that should matter to everyone. If they choose to not support your relationship or marriage, you are hurt but ultimately can't change their feelings.

If you want to be really petty, you could mention that if they don't support your relationship or marriage, this will ultimately affect anything that comes of that marriage - namely their relationship with their grandchildren. But, I suspect that it may be too early for you to go that route, but it's something that you and they should think about.

If they have other concerns beyond religion, like how he treats you or his personality traits, then I think you should hear them out on those. But if that isn't the case, then try to have a calm discussion with them about everything and stand up for yourself and your relationship.

If it's affecting your relationship with FH, you might want to consider couples counseling as well so you can work through this together. Good luck!

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I totally agree with Shannon. It's not about your family and who they want for you, it's about who you want for you and who makes you happy

Here's what I think. I believe religion plays a big role in a relationship if you're a practicing person of your faith. If both parties have strong belief in their faiths and practice it, then they're bound to follow what their faith says.

From what I know of Christianity, they believe in hell and heaven. And if you're not that, then you're going to hell. If you're ready to be with someone willing to accept the fact, based on your belief, that they're going to hell, then that's the call you make. Your parents might be trying to protect you from hurt. Also, faith most of the time is how people make decisions. So, if your partner makes a choice based on their belief, but it's banned in your faith, how will you handle that? Because they don't share the same opinion as you.

Also, when it comes to children, which faith will your kids follow? Of course when you give birth, you'll want your child to believe in what you believe, especially if you believe in heaven and hell.

Many people base their ethics on faith and others base their ethics on themselves and others base it on philosophy. What if you don't agree on that? Those ethics can even interpret into political views. So, if you're ready to accept everything and you feel like, religion doesn't matter, and that you guys are on the same page for everything or even if not, you're ready to accept the disagreement.

If he uses Jesus's name in vain or says a practice is dumb. Just if he acts shocked or disgusted by church down the line...... that's what you'll have to endure. That is what your parents are thinking of.