My mother suddenly wants back in my life?

Also, I know this is going to be extremely awkward for my father and my aunt (who was practically my mother for her), and pretty much everyone else because they don't like her. >.<

I don't think she's sobered up, but she does seem to want to make mends with my sister and me. She's always just been kind of incapable of feelings towards others... even though she really tries sometimes. Maybe things will be better now that we're adults and no longer those "burden" little children from before?

I think it's great that you want to give her the opportunity to be in your life, but I think you're right to try and be prepared in case she bails. maybe one thing at a time? ie. you 2 (and maybe your sis) go to lunch and talk before getting the inlaws involved and going dress shopping. especially if you don't think she's sobered up, this has the potential to not work out.

Patty cakes, I'm going through something very similar, but on the bail out end. My biological mother left me to my aunt and uncle when I was in elementary school. New Year's Eve of 2009 going into 2010, a month and a half after my uncle passed away, she decided to contact me for the first time in 17 years via Facebook. I met her with my family for the first time 7 months later. I had a catious relationship with her until this summer. After I got engaged she went off the deep end and started drinking and possible drug use. I'm so angry that I would even consider letting her back into my life. Just make sure to be careful and don't get too close.

@PatyyCakes: I am so sorry. Planning a wedding is hard enough without having to deal with a difficult past. It's nice she is showing interest in your life. I do agree with the other girls. Let her back in if you want, but don't forget how many disappointments she may have caused you in the past. Unfortunately, sometimes history repeats itself. Just be aware and don't expect much. When you expect less, there is less disappointment.

I agree with the others...and just know going into it that you might get disappointed. Just promise yourself now that if she bails or causes drama, you won't blame yourself for opening up your life/heart/wedding to her. (Ryeann, I hope you are reading this!) : )

You have an open heart to let her back in and that's what matters; it shows your character as a person. Those are your actions. Her actions are hers alone and although they may have potential to hurt you, they're hers and don't get confused by that. Enjoy what you may be able to share with her and let anything un-positive roll off your back. She may disappoint. She may not. As someone said earlier, expect less. Keep us posted.

Thanks guys, I guess I'm going to take it one step at a time.

I just don't want to make my dad uncomfortable or upset anyone. I mean, she should be there, but I know my aunt will feel more like "the mother of the bride" and it might feel weird to her when my mom randomly shows up and takes that spot after all these years. *le sigh

I know exactly how you feel. My dad is the same exact way, didn't want to be a dad unless it was convenient.. It's really hard to let them in and get disappointed but at least you can say you tried.

Based on my experience, ease into this relationship with your eyes open. I didnt have my dad at my first wedding because he was an alcoholic and drinking at the time. He wasnt reliable and caused drama in my life. He passed away some years ago.

You may want to reach out to the local chapter of AL-ANON. This is a group designed for families of alcholics as well as those fighting drug addiction. They can provide you with professional advice and services. This is a huge issue and a disease your mother will fight forever. You want advice and guidance something this group can help you with. IMO

Thanks Kelly, that was great advice. I had already decided against alcohol for my wedding (it's a Sunday brunch anyways), so I feel good about not putting her in a bad situation. Her biggest problem is she doesn't think she has a problem. I honestly don't think she's going to change until she decided to herself. I guess I don't wan't to be too hard on her, but it's hard not to resent her a bit.

Pattycakes, can you do something really special for your aunt on that day, like acknowledge her in the program or get her a special corsage to wear? Write her a card and make her feel special?