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Beginner April 2022

My mother is the only one against my wedding

Seojung, on July 23, 2021 at 7:49 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

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Hey guys,

Me and my FH set a date for wedding next year and already booked a lot of things and started a lot of planning. His family and my dad (parents are divorced) approved of our marriage except my mom.
I havent told her yet we are officially getting married and we set a date yet as she has been saying I will not be attending the wedding if you are marrying him. Her reasons are he is not in the same "class" as me meaning background (college and profession). I understand as a single mother she has raised me well and my past two long term boyfriends whom she met were not good for me. But this time he is different. She doesnt even want to meet him.
We are currently waiting until he proposes and gives me the engagement ring to tell her. We set a date first as venues things like this are going to be hard to book for a date we want due to COVID. Dont know if this will change he mind. What are your thoughts?

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Seojung, on July 26, 2021 at 5:30 PM

Expert May 2022
Nisha · on July 23, 2021 at 8:56 PM
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You know what's best for you, marry him if you really feel like he's your one. You have to live for yourself and your own happiness, even if that means upsetting family and friends.

My mother is the same way about my fiance. She's not happy that I got a divorce so she told my 20 year old "I don't think I'm going to that wedding"... to which I simply replied "that's cute, she thought she was invited". In the end no one has to be happy with your decision except you and your husband.
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 23, 2021 at 8:58 PM
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Thank you Nisha for your supporting words 🙏
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Super October 2022
AJ · on July 23, 2021 at 10:03 PM
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I 100% agree with Nisha.
I’m sorry that your mother isn’t supportive but you know best. My mom keeps complaining about things I’ve picked out for my wedding or decisions I’ve made. I keep telling her then don’t come. If people want to come to your wedding and support you, they will no matter what! I understand it’s so hard because she’s your mother - but at the end of the day you have to live for you and your happiness, not your mothers.
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 23, 2021 at 11:29 PM
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Thank you AJ!
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on July 24, 2021 at 6:24 AM
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If he makes you happy and that's what you want to do, then marry him. You're grown and can't keep living to please your mother, you have to live to make yourself happy.
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 24, 2021 at 7:47 AM
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Thank you for the support! ☺
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 24, 2021 at 7:49 AM
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Thank you to the people giving me support so far. I think thanks to you guys I will be ready for whatever response I get when I tell my mom about my wedding date after receiving my engagement ring.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on July 24, 2021 at 10:48 AM
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I would not tell her after the engagement; I would wait until the invitations go out (so a couple months before the wedding). Then You will have everything ready and she won't be able to interfere or stop the wedding. My friend did this for her mother who is also difficult. Her mom ended up attending, behaving herself, and even walking her down the aisle. Your mom may be saying this now, but when the time comes, she could change her mind. You could also decide not to invite her at all if she doesn't start treating you better. Good luck.
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 24, 2021 at 10:50 AM
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Thank you for your advice Jasmine. Yes, I think waiting after engagement would be better.
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Beginner April 2022
Claudia · on July 24, 2021 at 11:33 AM
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Why is your mother so opposed ?
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 24, 2021 at 11:36 AM
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Because he is not from a rich family and does not work at a company but is a hair designer. 😑 might I add I myself am not from a rich family and my parents are divorced so are my FH parents.
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Beginner April 2022
Claudia · on July 24, 2021 at 11:45 AM
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Well then, she is more than welcome to not marry him, because he is not good enough for her.

However ! He is more than enough for you, and that’s it. Period.
Be ready for her disapproval and the pain you feel, but keep honoring your heart, it’s better that way.
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 24, 2021 at 11:47 AM
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Thank you Claudia.
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Expert August 2021
Katie · on July 24, 2021 at 4:32 PM
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I agree with this but if you did this be prepared that she will most likely find out way before then from others. You know whats best for you. Do what you want and what is going to make you happy. Parents always have these ideas of what they want for their kids and some parents let those ideas interfere with their approval of what their adult children do with their lives. The only approval you need is your own. Don't live for anyone else, live for yourself.
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Super November 2021
Heather · on July 26, 2021 at 5:29 PM
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I'm so sorry your mother is giving you such a hard time about this. My mother was the same way where she did not approve of the guys I dated just because they weren't in the medical field . No matter how much I asked her as to why she didn't like my now fiance in the beginning stages of our relationship she just kept saying, "Oh, I don't know. It's not my place to say." To this day I never knew why. But she does love him now because of how he takes such good care of me. Please do what makes you happy. While she is not happy/supportive, just understand that you will be beginning a new life with someone where you guys will be building your own family. If you know it in your heart that he is the one then no one else's opinions matter! Good luck!
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Beginner April 2022
Seojung · on July 26, 2021 at 5:30 PM
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Thank you for your supporting words and sharing a bit of your story to me Heather!
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