My mother in law hates me

I am just wondering if anyone e thinks that I should talk it out with her? She had been very immature and hurtful but I am not trying to have this be a life long issue. We got along up until this point. Now she won't speak to me.

Words matter people. please take the time to write a complete post --- and if it is going to be long, type it all out somewhere else and paste it--- before you ask for advice on an internet forum.

OP:

You didn't uninvited guests. You invited guests, expecting 2, and they RSVP'd for 4. There was a disagreement between you and your MIL. Regardless of the details about her bringing your husband into the mix or if it was really the guests acting inappropriately (did the invite clearly list their names and # of seats?) -- it sounds like you both mishandled it.

You should apologize for the mix-up and then the ball is in her court.

You should also consider letting your Husband handle sensitive issues with his Mother for awhile (maybe always, depending on how things go).

ETA: took my own advice and clarified words. LOL

Your MIL is wrong as two left shoes. Let DH speak to her. You did nothing wrong. Maybe DH can do like a mediation or something.

It sounds to me like TWO guests were invited, but they rsvp'd for FOUR. They probably added their kids or something. If is that case, then the guests were wrong. It is rude to add extra people who were not on the invitation. The two people were not actually "uninvited".

In any case, I think you handled this wrong. I think your husband should have dealt directly with his mother in this situation to figure out the best way to handle her family.

If it were me I'd just let it settle. But that might not be the best option. What does your DH think?

IMO the bridal couple has the right to call and inform guests that their guest list cannot accommodate them (rsvp from people who "tag along"). EVEN THOUGH those uninvited guests included themselves on another invited guest's rsvp it is still the bridal couple's responsibility to set the record straight.

Another thought - you chose not to argue the matter. You then have no right to hold a grudge that these people showed up.

ETA: invite her to talk it out. "Hey Sue. I feel horrible that this incident has us not talking. Can I chat with you? I value our relationship too much to let this go. "

I would hate you too. You do not uninvited anyone.

It sounds like the guests added on two extra people without anyone's consent but H should've dealt with MIL not you

Ok I see what you're saying. I think you probably should have just bitten the bullet and just called them and let them know that you could only accommodate 2 (I think you really should have stuck to your guns and told her no to people you didn't know). That being said...

If you want things to improve, you have to talk to her. You can't continue to ignore each other and expect the elephant in the room to just go away. If she chooses not to engage after you've extended the olive branch, then that's on her.

So it seems that the invitation was addressed to XX and YY, but two additional people RSVPd as well. In that case, I retract my previous statement as you are not in the wrong. I would try to have a talk with her. It seems that she may have taken your decision (to clarify who was actually invited) personally and may have felt slighted.

Ok, so I read you did not uninvited.

This wasn't her fault. It happens. You should be the one to apologize.

I'm confused...are these guests ones that were not originally invited?

If you did in fact call and uninvite these guests, you are completely wrong.

Hmmmm @Nikol did you not read the comments? lol

@Nikol, you should probably re-read the comments. The two guests were never actually invited in the first place.

Nikol continues to not read the comments.

She ended up not uninviting anyone. And let's stop calling it uninviting because you can't uninvite someone who wasn't invited in the first place. Those guests were rude for adding people onto their RSVP.

Yes I did @queen, but I'm somewhat confused. If these people RSVP'd 4 and only had 2 on the invitation, then they are wrong. There is no need to get into a fight with the MIL over it because it wasn't her fault.

If guests were invited, and then uninvited, that is tacky and wrong.

Ok y'all, the wedding is over. She asked how to address the problem, she can't go back and undo it!

@op, you know her best, but it never hurts to apologize. If you leave it as it is and she "gets over it" it may come up again as an issue years down the road.

@Teal, I did read the comments.

It's not the MIL's fault these people did this.

I think the suggestion to say "I am sorry this situation has us not talking. I would love to get together and see how we can move forward" is a great one. MIL is in the wrong but you probably have to be the bigger person here.

@Nikol, OP never blamed her MIL for the rudeness of her guests....

I see that @Always

I was confused with her post when I first commented.