My mother in law hates me

Please clarify :

Who invited the 2 people that had to be uninvited? Whether it was verbally or via invitation.

I'm hurt at her response to me but I know that in the future this will probably cause problems.

Your surprised that she is upset that you asked her to uninvite 2 guests who had ALREADY RSVPed yes??!?!

You are in the wrong here. You uninvited guests to your wedding because you were over the limit. That was a result of poor planning on your part and no, she shouldn't have to call and uninvite them because of your lack of attention.

1 - Why is your MIL inviting people that you don't know to your wedding?

2 - Why didn't you account for the possibility of 100% acceptance when planning how many guests you can have?

3 - You are in fact being rude if you're uninviting someone.

She's probably extremely embarrassed she was forced to uninvite people that were already invited and rsvp'd yes. I wouldn't speak to you for a bit in that case either.

She originally told me they were 2 then rsvp'd 4 and they were never actually uninvited because I wasn't going to argue with her over it.

I think you were wrong here for not keeping an organized guest list. That would have kept this entire situation from happening. Having to rescind invitations is extremely rude and it looks really bad on both of your parts. If MIL wanted to invite over your capacity, you and your husband should have opened your mouths and told her no.

Did you send invitations to these guests? If so, you are going to have to do a lot of apologizing for a long time. If she did without telling you, then just wait for things to settle. More details are needed.

Ok ... wait a second ... if these 2 people rsvp'd that means that they were sent a formal invitation. Those invitations are sent from the Bride and a Groom.

If the above is true, this is on you and your DH. I would apologize to your MIL for putting HER in the middle.

Wait I think we are all jumping to conclusions. Its possible that she sent an invite for TWO people and they rsvped 2 extra guest, in that case the MIL should have been the one to tell them NO, it was her guest. Hopefully I'm right. lol

At least with the details given thus far, I am on the side of your MIL. I understand why she would be upset and wouldnt feel okay with uninviting two guests. That is super rude, and you put her in an uncomfortable position. If YOU wanted to uninvite them, then YOU should have called them yourself. ETA: Just saw your last comment. Were these two guests sent a formal invitation?

If the rsvp was meant for only 2 and they rsvp 4, you and DH are still responsible for following up and setting the record straight.

So she RSVP'd to you on their behalf.

Like she said "Oh these 2 people are coming" and then later said "Just kidding...it's gonna be 4 of them"

Is that what happened or did you send them an invitation with 2 reserved seats and they responded that they were bringing 4?

Dang ladies lol

I think you should address it regardless if you feel like you're not wrong. You married the whole family and unfortunately I've seen marriages fall apart when the daughter in law and mother in law do not get along (I'm a therapist). Also, this sounds deeper than these two guests.

Jessica please clarify. We are here to help. Your family's harmony could be at stake.

Wait, so you invited a couple and they RSVPed for 2 extra people that weren't invited? If they added in extra names, then they were in the wrong and you can inform them that due to budget restraints, unfortunately you can only accommodate the two people listed on the invitation. I think your FH should call them and tell them.

I think your use of uninvite is what is confusing people. You can't uninvite people you never invited to begin with. If you did invite all four people originally though, then you are in the wrong.

Eta: Just saw the wedding has already passed.

@RJ the wedding has already passed.

OP please come back and clarify what happened.

OP????

I gave her the option to invite people, she gave me a list of names, 2,2,2, and so on and then one of those couples rsvp'd 4. Her response to being asked to clarify with her friends was extremely hurtful to me, and they were never uninvited because I opted not to fight with her.