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J
Just Said Yes June 2012

My mom has no interest in my wedding.

Jen, on March 21, 2012 at 5:08 PM Posted in Planning 0 20

My mom was excited at first that I was getting married but doesn't care about anything I'm doing to plan my wedding. I've had my wedding dress for 2 months and she still hasn't came to my house to see it. Let alone she didn't come with me when I tried on wedding dresses. She's always making excuses that she's too busy. I live 15 minutes away from her and she works 3 hours a day she chooses not to visit me and help me do the fun things in the wedding. I just got off the phone with her and she doesn't want to hear anything I have to say about the wedding or the bridal shower then complained to me that she was asked to bring plates and silverware. The wedding is 2 months away and she hasn't looked for anything to wear to the wedding, when I suggested to go shopping just to see what's out she said she's not stupid and she knows how to pick her own clothes out. We used to be so close and now I really don't want to be around her because she's taking away the excitement of my wedding.

20 Comments

Latest activity by Carly, on March 23, 2012 at 12:51 AM
  • Kimberly S  ( formerly Kimberly L )
    Master June 2012
    Kimberly S ( formerly Kimberly L ) ·
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    Hi Jen, Welcome to WW. Sorry that you are going through this. You are too close to your wedding to be feeling sad, down & out. You have come this far, maybe things will get better, you can only hope that they will and just continue on .

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  • heavenlyyoyo
    VIP August 2012
    heavenlyyoyo ·
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    Hello Jen, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, just pray about it. Have you tried to talk to her about why her attitude has changed, or that you would really like to see her more involved in your special day. It's always possible that she is going through something personal and doesn't realize how she is making you feel.

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  • Kayla
    Super July 2012
    Kayla ·
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    I can understand where your coming from but It doesn't bother me at all......Once I bring up my wedding my mom changes the subject, I cried about it when we first got engaged but it's too close to our wedding dates to let one person ( parent's or not) to bring us down. It's your special day and nothing or no one should ruin it Smiley smile

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  • opheliaandkhalil
    Savvy July 2012
    opheliaandkhalil ·
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    I feel the same, my mother Out of the country and have been since 6/11 and when she calls all she talk about is whats going on with her, I've made an Oath and I think you should do the same to not allow any one to bring you down and out at this Very Important time in you life!!

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  • Andrea
    VIP May 2012
    Andrea ·
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    Yeah I kinda just don't talk to my mom about it anymore. That's why I have FH & WW Smiley smile

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  • Karen
    VIP June 2012
    Karen ·
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    Some of my cousins are excited for me, but my sister and my parents aren't at all, it does bother me, I guess its because its my second wedding but... I am excited, at least mention my wedding every once in a blue moon ? And, we, as a family do have ALOT of really tough stuff going on, so I cant really blame any of them

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  • J
    Beginner April 2012
    Jennifer ·
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    My mom did the same thing to me Smiley sad She completely abandoned me all together and made lots of promises she didn't keep. She works with one of my friends and she had reminded my mother that my wedding is 2 weeks away and she said she had so much to do before then (none of which is for my wedding) She has made it quite clear that my wedding is about her and not me. Its very sad and its completely destroyed any happiness I had about my wedding, honestly I cant wait for my wedding to be over in hopes that i wont feel so sad anymore. I thought I was the only bride with a mom that doesnt care... I wish I could say something to make you feel better about the situation but I dont even know what to tell myself. I feel your pain Smiley sad

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  • pearl
    VIP August 2012
    pearl ·
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    Same here, so i guess were not alone, it makes me jealous to see other moms that are actually really involved in their daughters wedding... it is sad... i asked my mom to give me address of family members from her side and all she asked me is how many of my friends can i invite... i seriously want to tell her, well since you havent helped at all... none! lol... stay happy girls... dont let them ruin the best day of our lives!!

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  • Jay
    Just Said Yes June 2012
    Jay ·
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    You need to talk to your mom and you also need to know why she has changed. Though they are right that no one should ruin your wedding; unfortunately, I know that it will be a bad wedding experience if you don't talk to your mom about it and clear the issue.

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  • 2smilez4u
    Super July 2012
    2smilez4u ·
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    Wow.... I really didnt know that it was so many brides out there with the same issue I thought it was just me. I hope it gets better for all of us.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    A lot of people are just not interested in weddings. When it's a man that has that attitude, we think it completely natural, but somehow treat the same attitude in a woman as meaning she isn't interested in us. Plan the wedding you want with your FI, and just treat your mother as a guest.

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  • Chandlers Heart
    Expert October 2012
    Chandlers Heart ·
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    I feel your pain. I cried to FH about it and he said don't worry he won't let anybody ruin my day. He said if anybody else makes me cry there's going to be HELL to pay!!!! LOL! I love him so much.

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  • JETAUN
    Savvy September 2012
    JETAUN ·
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    I pray that GOD will fix your situation!....May you and your FH be blessed on this awesome journey!Smiley smile

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  • Nikki
    Devoted August 2012
    Nikki ·
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    My mom did the same thing when I graduated high school (well, all the way through senior year until the ceremony day). Said I'd never make it into my dream college, my effort was shoddy, she acted all depressed at my church youth group celebration and when I asked if she was crying cuz she was proud she said "I wish I could be". Then the day of graduation I was accepted into my dream college and suddenly she'd been supportive the entire time. Mhm.

    So....I'm sorry you have to go through this crap! Sometimes I don't think mothers fully grasp the impact (and immaturity) their behavior has. We just have to keep our heads high and let their behavior affect only them. Years from now when her grandkids ask if she was happy for you and what her role was, she might lie a bit but she'll always have to live with her choices. You can't make someone enjoy the moment, but you CAN make sure you enjoy it yourself Smiley smile

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  • Private User
    Just Said Yes March 2012
    Private User ·
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    It makes me feel a little bit more stronger seeing that there are other brides going through the same thing. My mom and my sisters seemed to have little or no interest in my wedding until now. My mom was "too busy" to help me look for a dress. Then when she offered to pay for certain things, that failed too. So I'm not depending on her. With our wedding 9 days away, me and the FH have been doing it all by ourselves. And that's ok, we wouldn't have it any other way.

    So stay strong love, you are not alone. It is YOUR day.

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  • shari
    Dedicated May 2012
    shari ·
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    You'll be ok dont let anyone take your joy...even if it is your mom bc thats suppose to be your right hand but luckily you have ww

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  • Nicole S. (formerly Nicole C)
    Master October 2013
    Nicole S. (formerly Nicole C) ·
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    Wow there are a lot of people out there in the same situation! She was the first person I called when I got engaged and she seemed totally uninterested (talk about a major let-down). I think it might have something to do with my parents' divorce- but I don't care.

    She says she's "excited" but gives me that blank look whenever I mention it. It kills me a little inside- but I just remember that I've got my FH and I don't really care what anyone else thinks. I'm happy with him, and that's all that matters. Plus, I have other people that are REALLY excited- so I just stick with talking to them Smiley smile

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  • Frances
    Dedicated November 2012
    Frances ·
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    Maybe she is feeling like she is losing you and your closeness, maybe her hopes and dreams for you have changed now that you are getting married... I say that because some times we mother's don't come out and say things and avoid the situation at hand...

    I am sorry you are going through this, I hope things get better for you. Enjoy your day and keep planning, she will come around!! ;o)

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  • M
    Devoted October 2012
    M ·
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    I am sorry you have to go through this too. If it helps, my mom is the same way. I don't know why, she likes my FH and we've been together 10 years so we're not rushing into anything. And it's not that she's "not into weddings" - she did a ton with my cousins for their weddings, so.. I don't know. I've told myself that maybe it's because she doesn't want to face the fact that her "little girl is growing up" but I'm probably just giving her too much credit.

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  • Carly
    Super October 2012
    Carly ·
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    My mom is like this too. her and i are superclose about everything else. but once wedding talk comes up she's over it.

    but she always has opinions! A lot of brides have problems making decisions about what they want and I have picked things out left & right and just made final decisions from the get-go basically. That's why I am pretty much done with wedding planning with 6 months to go.

    Picked out the BMs shoes, she hates them. Picked out BMs jewelry, hated it. Picked out my hairstyle, hates it. I told her I want to dye my hair back to brown for the wedding, she got upset because she likes my hair blonde. Picked out a caterer, not the one she liked. Picked out a DJ at a bridal expo, thought I was making a mistake. When we went to try on dresses, she looked like she hated her life the whole time, when I asked her if she liked the dress she was like, yea sure.

    So...I totally understand where you are coming from.

    I just try to remember that no one is going to be as excited as me!

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