My fiance died last year and I'm depressed as others around me are getting engaged or married

Sorry for your loss.... praying for you

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Oh no! That IS very tough. Please don’t give up on love yet (a colleague got remarried to a wonderful disabled man... both in their 60’s. Love has no expiration date). Are you seeing a counselor to help you get through your grief?

I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Have you seen a therapist or grief counselor?

I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you are in. Have you reached out to a friend or loved one? Seems like a lot to try and deal with on your own. My thoughts are with you.

Years ago I was engaged to a wonderful guy. He was killed by a drunk driver a month before the wedding. I felt like life would never get better and was angry with everyone around me who was living their life. I did not date for five years but during that time I worked with a therapist to move on. When I wasn’t expecting it I met my now husband. You can love again. Give yourself time. Find someone to talk to and give yourself a break. I wish the best for you.

To answer the question about grief counseling and therapy, I'm not seeing a therapist or counselor. I don't want to go as I'm already dealing with healthcare professionals because of my disability. I hate going to appointments and I don't want to add another appoinment on it.

I don't really talk to friends or relatives about what i'm going through because I don't want to be a burden. I do think love has an expiration date especially when you're close to 40 and have a disability that is only going to get worse.

Please don't give up on yourself. You need to focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. My sister suffers from severe bi-polar issues that made her dating life difficult. But at age 61 she found her soul mate and got married. It is a challenging relationship, but they both think that it is worth the difficulties.
You were loved once, and can be loved again, but you have to love yourself first.

PS get therapy, look for on-line counseling, it might be easier for you to "attend".

Also you are not a burden to those who love you. You would help them, if needed, why not allow them to help you.

I am so sorry for your loss! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending positive vibes---

Oh dear Kate, it's so natural to feel these type of emotions as your still grieving the loss of your love. Though your world feel so dark and bleek right now....know that the Grace of your higher power is always with you. Your Late FH would want you to find every ounce of happiness to keep you afloat. He LIVES in YOU, so LIVE. cry it out...go through every step of the grieving process. Know your not alone in this and we the brides and future brides to be of the WW family thank you for sharing your feelings with us because we know it's not easy for you. Take the nesseccary baby steps you need to see that LIGHT of HOPE in your eyes again. We don't truly know you but we LOVE you..... And you have alot to give in this BIG world we share together. I loss my 1st husband in 2010 so I know this particular type of grieving. Kate you stay strong, take one day at a time, make sure you have someone close by to talk to. No matter your current situation.....you are our WW sister and WE GOT YOU!!! 💯
( BIG BIG HUG)😊

Kate, I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and what you've been going through. Grieving takes such a toll. Please be kind to yourself as you continue working through your grief. Speaking with a counselor or a grief support group can help, and can be worth adding another appointment to your schedule. You may even be able to find some options online that you can work with on your own time. If you need help finding those, we can help find some resources for you.

As far as your cousin's wedding goes, I encourage you to be honest with her that although you thought you were up for it to begin with, as her wedding gets closer it's too painful to be in a wedding after the loss of your partner and you need to step down. I'm sure your cousin wouldn't want to put you through that if she knew how you are feeling.

I probably won't step down from that wedding becuase I don't want to disappoint others. Online counseling isn't covered by my insurance and I've read about companies being tied to unethical practices. Overall, I don't want mental health therapy because I'm already fed up with having a physical disability and illness and it would be embarrassing to not have control of my mental health and have to deal with another professional.

View Quoted Comment THE best way to have control over your mental health is to seek professional support. This is something that honestly every person should benefit from this. There’s nothing that says you have to get on meds or anything and ‘give up control’ so to speak. Just talk to someone.

You can always back out of the wedding if you have an honest conversation with the cousin about how you’re hurting— she will understand . But to be having difficulty being involved in things because seeing other people happy hurts you, it is truly time to seek outside help. And being close to 40 does not mean you can’t find love again. Even if you don’t believe it, love does NOT have an expiration date— that only happens when you aren’t open to it. You don’t need to get out there or anything, just saying this is all mental. I just married my husband at 40. I have an aunt who got married for the first time at 70.

Positive vibes and healing goes out to you.💖 I will be a first time bride at age 49.

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I have multiple sclerosis which will get worse in time and that's only going to make things more difficult on top of being older. I do have an expiration date imo. I already feel like a loser as all of my friends who are my age are married and same with relatives who are same age or younger.

View Quoted Comment I agree with all of this.

My hubby married his 1st wife, who has MS, when they were about 40. She left him after 5+ years of marriage. I married my husband in my mid 40’s, so yes, it can still happen for you. Buuuut... (tough love coming) you need to be willing to do the work, that means starting with a counselor. When we’re in trauma grief like this we often need help getting out of it. Bottling it up or ignoring it won’t help you heal or move on. You’re here sharing your grief. First step. 👍 Please continue and seek professional help. The sun will rise again. ☀️ 🌹

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I'm tired of having always everything be so hard when my body is failing me and make it more difficult to find someone else. Not many men want to be married to someone with a disability. I hate that much of my life is controlled by healthcare professionals and i feel like I don't have much to control on my own and that's why i'm trying to get through grief on my own.

View Quoted Comment This.

OP, you are the only one who can help yourself, and some of that is making a decision to seek outside help via therapy. You keep arguing that you WANT control, but right now you are NOT in control. You are letting your misery control you. It does not have to be this way. But you can’t get better mentally if you’re not willing to.

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Your belief is "no man will marry someone with a disability" but several women here just pointed out that's not true. Please stop telling yourself this. (Too bad WW doesn't have a hug emoji. Insert here.)

I know it sucks right now. While I was going through a near bankruptcy years ago, I suddenly got hit with health issues and more car/dental bills. Talk about feeling like a loser! Broke, single, moved back home. I started working with a spiritual counselor who really helped me reset--I was exhausted, angry and frustrated but knew I didn't want to live like that forever. It did take months to get out of that space, but it would have taken even longer without help...and some of that external help has been amazingly valuable for other hardships I endured since then. Trust me, staying in your own head is going to keep you where you're at. If you're not ready for a therapist, try support groups, self-help books, online grief videos, church, crystal healing--whatever you ARE willing to do to release, heal, reprogram your mind. You do deserve love, peace and happiness.